Mamell's story

Yes, Doris Wishman was an odd director and made strange movies. Yes, Chesty Morgan is a rotten actress and should never have gotten into the business. However, there are two great reasons to watch Deadly Weapons . . . and they are both suspended from Chesty's magnificent torso! In this age of skinny starlets with their flat chests it is refreshing to see a full-figured gal get some coverage (or get uncovered as some of these scenes reveal). Despite the lame acting, the thin plot line and the dreadful music, Deadly Weapons earns two points from me! Two points for Chesty's two trophies! She could not act, sing or dance very well but for at least two films (both with Wishman at the helm) Chesty managed to break into show business. Found an article on the internet that stated she was a concentration camp survivor from WW II, and currently owns and manages some small apartment unit in Florida.

Directed by Doris Wishman, who started her career in the business of "Nudie Cuties", such as Nude on the Moon (1961) and Diary of a Nudist (also 1961). These were innocuous attempts at getting tits and ass on the screen, in the shape of the nudist camp. She did eventually move into the sexploitation genre, and made two films with the Polish-born exotic dancer, Chesty Morgan (credited on this first collaboration as Zsa Zsa). They consequently made another, released the same year, Double Agent 73. Now, what Chesty Morgan inevitably offers, is incredibly over-sized (yet very much real) bosom. In fact, many of the moments in this film are spent simply gazing at the unattractively massive mamories, as Chesty holds them, moves them, and generally turns them into a very visual form of baking preparation!

This aside, the film does have a semblance of a story. Crystal (Morgan), has had a promise from her partner, Larry (Richard Towers), of marriage. Unfortunately he is mixing with some unsavoury business elements. Headed by an unknown, unseen boss, two thugs, Tony (played by Harry Reems, legend of Deep Throat (1972) fame), and Nick (Saul Meth), are ordered to kill Larry as he holds some valuable information. As Crystal discovers who killed Larry, she decides to find the killers and get revenge. After becoming a stripper (cue various random scenes of boob movements), she kills Tony and Nick using her weapons of choice - her tits of course!

Now obviously this film had an overall spectacle that would have pulled some people in, and this is of course the circus-sideshow that is Chesty Morgan, and her repulsively humongous bazookas. This novelty is pretty much all the film has. It does attempt a poor twist ending, but this feels more like an episode of Ironside (1967 - 1975), or any other crime/mystery television shows of the time. And apart from the sex and nudity, the entire film could have been a plot for TV. The is one bizarre scene which humoured me. Chesty looks out of a window in deep thought, the camera pans down to gaze at her tits, the image of a memory of a swimming pool scene with Larry is superimposed on them. It's almost as if these memories are in fact those of her tits!

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After the mob hits a guy with a list, one of the hoods (Richard Towers) keeps the list for himself to blackmail the people on it. When the mobsters find out he is a double-crosser, they off him, which angers his busty girlfriend (Chesty Morgan). She goes after them using the only two weapons she has.

Now, you have Richard Towers ("Last House of the Left") and you have Harry Reems ("Deep Throat"). And Reems has one of the greatest mustaches I have ever seen... so this alone should sell you. But then you have Chesty Morgan. She cannot act, she cannot talk (all her lines are dubbed), and her "talent" is more of a freak show than anything you would actually choose to see... which is perfect for a film released by Something Weird.

As others have said, this is the very definition of a "cult" film. It is certainly not good in any traditional sense, but it has a very odd quality about it that might be enjoyable if you are into strange films. That is all this can be called -- a strange film. It is not sexy, it is not well-written, the directing is adequate but nothing more. Acting is poor. It is just weird.

Huge-breasted Crystal has a boyfriend who belongs to the mob, but doublecrosses his boss only to be killed by two hoods/buddies in said mob. Crystal overhears her boyfriend's death by phone and plans her revenge on the two murderers as she travels to Las Vegas and Miami to assault each of them with her very ample deadly weapons. Such is the basic premise of Deadly Weapons. Well, the film certainly is a one of a kind. I mean how many films feature as its main protagonist a woman with a 73 inch bust who becomes a breast-smothering vigilante. The film is directed by Doris Wishman and its is cheaply-made with little directorial flair and almost no acting(save the performance by porn star Harry Reems). The female lead is played by Chesty Morgan(in reality another very hard to write/pronounce Polish name), and she bounces her way through the film seeing how many different ways she can showcase her bust. She finds many ways. As films go, this is really nothing special except for its status as exploitative cinema or a cult film. It is worth a look for its oddity qualities. If anyone knows...let me know...but I believe the guy playing Crystal's boyfriend was the same man that played Mari's father in Last House on the Left. The names on IMDB are different but the two men are one and the same I believe.

****SPOILERS**** A story of murder and revenge staring the busty Chesty Morgan as stripper Crystal Zsa Zsa who's unusual psychical attributes make it difficult for her stand up or walk straight without tipping over. It's when Crystal's gangster boyfriend Larry, Richard Towers, is interrupted while saying sweet nothings into her ear vis the telephone that he's gunned down by two of his colleagues Tony Barler, Harry "The Reemer" Reems, and Captian Hook, Mitchell Fredericks. The trouble for them is that they forgot to put the phone back on the hook where they, with Crystal listening in, ended up not only incriminating but identifying themselves in Larry's killers!

Determined to make them pay for what they did Crystal plans to do the two creeps in with her deadly arsenal of double barreled Winchesters 73's that she plans to use on them. Getting a job as a stripper in a Las Vagas casino Crystal in promising Captain Hook, one of her biggest admirers, a good time get's him good and stoned in her hotel room as she ends up suffocating him to death with her massive 73's. Tracking down Barler at a Miami hotel Crystal has a much difficult time in getting him alone and smothering him to dead in that Barler's jealous and possessive girlfriend Eve, Denise Purcell, is in the way. With Eve spilling the beans in knowing that Barler murdered Larry he ends up doing her in with his neck-tie as well. Not realizing that it opened the door for Crystal, whom he made a play for, to have her chance to get a crack or squeeze on him!

****SPOILERS**** Were in for a big surprise at the end of the movie when it turns out that Crystal's meek and flower loving and sniffing dad, Phillip Stahl, was the person who, in Larry holding out on him, ordered the hit on Larry! Only worth watching for what the movie is advertised for in highlighting her-Chesty Morgan- physical statistics. As them being the eight as well as all the other seven wonders of the world all rolled into one; Or is it two?