Le Château de l'horreur

This is a mishmash of old Universal horror cliches done up European style by the notorious Dick Randall, who is known for marrying Jayne Mansfield and producing a string of wildly eccentric exploitation films mostly in Europe. This movie has a horny dwarf, a Neanderthal man in feather boots played an actor calling himself Boris Lugosi(!) and a Frankenstein monster who looks like Bozo the Clown. And it's always fun for fans of Eurotrash cinema to spot regulars like Gordon Mitchell and Luciano Pigozzi giving it their all. This Gothic goofiness should satisfy all fans of 70s Eurohorror.

Two vaguely related storylines provide a flimsy excuse to link a series of exploitation scenes involving violent murder, kinky sex, and sexual violence.

The flimsy plot threads involve a standard mad-scientist type, here cunningly named Count Frankenstein, performing experiments on a bizarre "missing link" he has captured in the local countryside. Meanwhile his former henchman, a misbehaving dwarf, befriends yet another hulking missing link creature and, partly to bring suspicion upon his hated former employer as well as to appease his own lust, commits rape and murder with assistance from his new friend.

Apart from the ugly cook who enjoys rough sex with one of her freakish co-workers, Count Frankenstein's visiting daughter, her fiance and a university friend are on-hand to provide the bulk of the nude glimpses and sex scenes. At one point the daughter and the female friend share a mineral mud-bath in a cave. Since this scene fails to move the plot along, has no affect on the on-going story, and does not even lead to sex (despite some initial hints that suggest it might be proceeding down that path) we must assume it was included solely so it could be shown out-of-context in the trailer to suggest that more could be seen in the actual film.

Mildly amusing and somewhat intriguing, but by no means any good.

"Frankenstein's Castle of Freaks" is rancid 70's euro-exploitation at its absolute finest! Not a single line in the screenplay makes any sense, the females look hot & willing, the males are all sick perverts and the supposedly horrific make-up effects are so cheesy they cause you to laugh instead of to cringe. The residents at Count Frankenstein's castle are not only freaks, they're crazed sexual deviants! He has an army of lunatics surrounding him, all assisting in his macabre scientific research, and each of them is worthy of his/her own horror spin-off! There's the horny caveman lying on Frankenstein's operating table, the hunchback who has aggressive sex with the main butler's wife and – of course - the depraved midget Genz, who fondles dead girls' bodies and has peepholes all around the castle to stare at people having sex! Count Frankenstein is a bit of a sleaze-bag himself. When his gorgeous daughter returns home, he immediately falls in love with her sexy friend and even involves her in his demented experiments. Genz the dwarf gets banned from the castle, but he teams up with a roaming Neanderthaler in the woods and teaches him the 'art' of raping innocent women. Everything comes neatly together in the end, when the townspeople no longer tolerate the abnormalities going on at the castle and form an angry mob. As you can tell, there's a whole lot going on in this crazy flick, but it's unbelievably incoherent. This wacky production features none of the tense Gothic atmosphere of all the previous Frankenstein tales and I don't think director Robert Oliver ever intended to focus on suspense. This film is all about shlock, sleaze and the ravishing naked bodies of Simonetta Vitelli (as Frankenstein's daughter) and Christiane Rücker (as Frankenstein's mistress). The cameras follow them each time they take a bath or go swimming, preferably with Genz the sniveling dwarf spying on them. The horror-sequences are scarce, short and actually quite irrelevant. The photography and use of music are horrendous, but they acting performances are surprisingly tolerable. Rossano Brazzi doesn't seem to be very interested in playing the titular character, but the freaks and particularly the girls do a fine job. Utter trash, but vastly entertaining cult material.

With a trash cast consisting of Edmund '2019: After The Fall of New York' Purdom, Gordon 'Frankenstein '80' Mitchell, Luciano 'Rather a lot of films' Pigozzi and Mike 'Strike Commando' Monty, you'd come to this film expecting a lot, and leave feeling kind of let down. How can a film featuring a necrophile dwarf get it so wrong?

Well for starters it probably should have spent more time concentrating on the horror angle than all the other stuff it fannies about with in the first hour of the film. To set the scene: Count (?) Frankenstein lives in a huge castle with his band of freaks who like to do grave robbing with him, including sidekick Luciano Pigozzi, a hunchback guy who's having it off with Luciano's wife, then there's big Gordon Mitchell, and a dwarf who looks like Nicholas Cage in miniature form who gets up to all sorts of mischief, including fondling exhumed girl corpses and donking up Frankenstein's newly acquired dead Neanderthal.

These cavemen have been plaguing the countryside for ages, and the local villagers are blaming Frankenstein for that and the girl's body going missing. It's up to Edmund Purdom as local policeman to sort all that out. Plus, just to increase the cast and pad out the film more, Frankenstein's daughter, boyfriend and her top heavy pal come to visit, which gives the film and excuse for nudity and most of the staff of the house peeking in on naked ladies (through the eyes of a portrait, naturally).

The plot trundles along lamely while we watch Luciano Pigozzi scheme against the dwarf, and the dwarf gets exiled and ends up shacking up with another Neanderthal, played by The Beast from The Beast In Heat, a man who has no need for make up to play either. The movie then concentrates on the more important plot points like whether or not rabbit should be eaten raw or cooked. I suppose some skinny dipping does keep from falling asleep, mind you.

Things are all gearing up for a Neanderthal Frankenstein monster versus regular Neanderthal battle at the end, but the film completely forgets to include any horror, unless savage throttling counts as horror. Worse still, Gordon Mitchell is barely in it and has nothing much to do, and although Luciano Pigozzi at least stands out as the scheming servant, Edmund Purdom just sort of runs around pointing at the things.

Not the best Gothic horror then. Shame. It's too well made to be stupid in that sense either.

Count Frankenstein (Rossano Brazzi, best known as the star of the screen version of SOUTH PACIFIC) is busy at work at his castle home, sending out his gravediggers to get corpses for his experiments, and tinkering around with a tied-up cave man named Goliath (check out that unibrow). The doc's beautiful daughter Maria (played by "Simone Blondell") shows up with her fiance Eric (Eric Mann) and friend Krista (Christiane Royce aka Rucker) whom the count takes a liking to. One of his assistants is the dwarf Genz (3'4" Michael Dunn), a real sick-o type who fondles dead bodies, spies on the women bathing and having sex, and is eventually kicked out on the castle. He teams up with Ook (Boris Lugosi aka Salvatore Baccaro), yet another cave-dwelling Neanderthal man outcast, and the two plot to get back at the doctor. In one scene the duo kidnap a girl from town, tie her up, rape and kill her. Genz tells Ook, "I'm going to teach you the pleasures of life!" Meanwhile, Goliath (Loren Ewing) escapes and starts killing and townspeople with torches show up for the finale.

Helen Keller must have been serving on the MPAA ratings board when they gave this nudity and sickness-filled effort a PG rating. All in all though, it's a pretty silly combo of tried and true exploitation elements from the period and nothing much surprising happens.

Score: 3 out of 10