La comtesse noire

Personally, I am a huge fan of Jess Franco, who has enriched the world of Eurohorror/Exploitation by a vast variety of films, including masterpieces such as "Gritos En La Noche", ("The Awful Dr. Orloff", 1962) and Miss Muerte" ("The Diabolical Dr. Z", 1966), a vast amount of entertaining sleaze, as well as big-time stinkers (such as "Sadomania"). With a repertoire of over 190 films, Franco must be the most prolific Exploitation director of all-time; and while I can understand those who do not share my admiration for the Spanish Trash-deity, one has to give it to Franco that even his lesser films always have a certain weird style, which is almost impossible not to like for a cult-cinema fan. Take this film, for example: "Les Avaleuses" (aka. "Female Vampire"/"Bare Breasted Countess"/"Erotikill") of 1973 is, without any doubt, an incredibly nonsensical film that is more Porn than it is Horror and ranges among the most shamelessly plot-less Euro-Exploitation features ever produced. And yet I cannot claim I didn't enjoy it.

The main attraction is Franco's Nr. 1 muse (and real-life wife) the stunning Lina Romay. Sexy Lina plays Countess Irina Karlstein, a female vampire who walks around wearing only a cape and a belt, who kills her victims (of both sexes) during sex, and who does not limit herself to sucking blood exclusively. Then there's also a weird-looking pathologist (played by director Franco) who desperately tries to convince the police that the mutilated corpse are victims of a vampire, not a madman... This may not sound like a proper plot-description, but fact is that this confused little film does not really have a proper plot. About 90 per cent of the film are soft-core porn (or hard-core porn, depending on which version you see), sleaze, and shots of beautiful Lina Romay walking naked through the forest. The 'Horror' is quite ridiculous, and the dialogue ranges among the most nonsensical things ever written. Lina Romay's leading character is mute, but her communicating through body language is quite welcome! There is also a character named Professor Orloff (is it Franco's own Dr. Orloff?) who only talks truly bizarre nonsense. The rest of the cast includes Eurocult regular Jack Taylor (who was in many Franco films, and also starred in many other Spanish Horror productions including many films in which he played alongside the late Paul Naschy), as well as the weird-looking Franco-flick bit-part-player Luis Barboo.

Basically, this film is recommendable for two reasons, the first and most convicting one being Lina Romay who walks around naked for almost the entire film. The second reason is that it is a Jess Franco film, and therefore delivers the nonsensical plot in a particular, stylish manner. It is obvious that Franco didn't even bother about the plot, and he certainly doesn't give a crap about people nagging about the lack of it. In typical Franco-fashion, the film is atmospheric, nicely shot in beautiful locations and accompanied by a nice score. The plot may be almost non-existent, and the film may be a mere repetition of sleazy sequences - one still doesn't get bored. The sequences shot in the car, by the way, are a nice tribute to Tod Browning's 1931 "Dracula" with Bela Lugosi.

Overall, I can only recommend "Female Vampire" to my fellow enthusiastic fans of Jess Franco. To anybody not familiar with Franco, I would recommend to check out his brilliant early works, such as "The Awful Dr. Orloff", "The Diabolical Dr. Z" or "Venus in Furs" and skip this one. While it does range in the lesser half of his repertoire, it isn't the worst film he has ever made, though. Once asked about the reason for film-making, Franco replied: "Showing the female body naked." How can one not appreciate such honesty?

Cultmaster Jess Franco delivers with this "Female Vampire" the jolliest and sleaziest bunch of sleaze you'll ever behold, and that's a guarantee! This in fact is the closest you can get to renting porn while still able to claim it's essential and rare cult, haha!! The star in this film is Franco's favorite toy-girl, the astonishingly beautiful (at least back then) and sexy Lina Romay, who definitely makes up in charisma what she lacks in experience and acting skills. Luckily for her, her character is a mute so can use her body language to the fullest! She plays Irena von Karlstein, the last descendant of a cursed family of vampires who's doomed to travel from one great place to another and survive by making love to random people...The poor, poor girl!! Irana isn't your ordinary type of vampire as she's perfectly able to stand daylight and it ...um...isn't exclusively blood she sucks! Countess von Karlstein really is one of the most unique Franco characters ever and you'll unquestionably love her! Whenever she's not killing people, she walks naked through the woods or makes love to the furniture. In order to add a tiny bit of substance to story, there's a sub plot involving a neurotic scientist (played by Franco himself) who wants to destroy the yummy Irena. So, what exactly is the point of this film? There isn't any...and that's the beauty of it! Like several of Franco's film, this "Female Vampire" is rather meaningless and overall incompetent BUT also very sensual! The photography is magnificent and the musical guidance is very beautiful. The film is slow-paced, elegant and remarkably stylish for being a – let's face it – voyeuristic movie! If you're into euro-sleaze, cult classics and off-category movies .... this is a must! The same film is also available as a different cut and under a different title – Erotikill – but that one is pure pornography!

Female Vampire (1973)

*** 1/2 (out of 4)

Jess Franco's erotic twist on the vampire legend has Lina Romay playing Countess Irina, the last member of a vampire family who plans on ending the legacy. A troubled journalist (Anna Watican) shows up to interview Irina and soon the vampire is putting a spell on her. This film is available in three different versions. A hardcore one, which I've watched before, a horror version and a softcore version, which is being reviewed here. The difference in this take on the vampire legend is that Romay doesn't suck the blood out of the neck but instead sucks the semen out of you know where. When you talk to Franco fans about this film you'll usually start a heated debate but to me this is one of the directors best films. The opening, with Romay, naked of course, walking through a fog filled forest, really sets the tone for the film, which also includes a terrific and haunting score by Daniel White. Romay plays a mute in the film and I think this is one of her best performances because she's able to display a sadness that really works for the film. It doesn't hurt matters that she walks around completely naked throughout the movie and this beauty is certainly her in prime shape. This softcore version is certainly more erotic than horror but this is just fine as I find the movie to be incredibly sexy. There's a nearly ten minute lesbian scene between Romay and the reporter, which is extremely hot. Franco himself as well as Jack Taylor, Alice Arno and Monica Swinn has supporting roles and all add fine work (although it's hard to tell with some of the English dubbing). This version runs a tad bit too long at 101-minutes but if you get caught up in the dream like nature of the film then you really are seeing one of the more unique sexploitation films out there. I've seen the XXX version, which is just downright ugly and kills the beauty of the original film but I'm still trying to seek out the horror version and will hopefully come upon it sometime soon.

Female Vampire (1973) Horror version

*** (out of 4)

I finally managed to get a copy of this alternate version of Female Vampire, which is better known as Erotikill or The Bare Breasted Countess. This is certainly a new film and really separates itself from the better known "sex" versions, which also contains another alternate version with XXX scenes. In this horror version everything is basically the same story wise with the major exception being that Countess Irina (Lina Romay) sucks blood and not other things. The differences in this version are quite major and the biggest is that this cut runs nearly 35-minutes shorter. The opening sequence with Romay walking through the woods features her wearing panties, which eliminates all of the below the waste nudity. All the attacks aren't done through sex but instead are bites to the neck, which also include shots of Romay's bloody lips. The film still has a lot of nudity but most of the below the waste stuff has either been taken out or are alternate shots with Romay wearing clothing. The subplot and relationship of Romay with the journalist (Anna Watican) is also shortened to the point where we don't see the two characters together very often. Other changes include a torture chamber sequence where Romay bites on more necks from women she has captured down there. So, is the film any better or worse? I think this horror version works fairly well as a horror movie but it's nothing we haven't seen before and it really can't compete against Franco's much better Vampyros Lesbos, which is pretty similar. I think taking away the sexual aspect of the story kills all of the originality so to me the sex version will always be the preferred one.

A beautiful female vampire (Lina Romay) lures men to their doom.

Depending on which version you watch, you might get a more or less pornographic film with horror themes or a horror film with some sexual themes. I watched the Netflix version, which seems to be somewhere in the middle, or perhaps leaning towards porn (there were naked men and women within the first ten minutes, and a simulated sexual encounter). Not at all what I expected, and frankly it disappoints me that this version is not more horror.

Concerning the sexual scenes, Franco has said, "There was a need to show it, like you must show how Dracula sucks his blood, you need to show how this Countess sucks the semen." I am not sure if I buy that.

I came to hear of Jess Franco, like most of those in my generation, from Vampyros Lesbos, and was quite keen to see "Female Vampyre" (as it appears on DVD). These are two completely different movies, to say the least.

First, the directing of Les Avaleuses is surprisingly inept. Shots are often out-of-focus in inappropriate situations, otherwise beautiful panoramas are ruined by unsteady hand-holding of the camera, and the zoom lens is frankly abused.

The plot is even thinner than that of Vampyros, which is saying quite a bit. The acting on the part of practically everyone is bloody awful. "Lina Romay" may look a bit like Soledad Miranda but she has none of the screen presence which was Soledad's.

Also, let's face, this is a very silly film. It is neither explicit enough to be a porno, nor interesting enough to be a decent movie.

Also the music sucks. I was most disappointed in that. I was expecting something much more funky.