Dépêche-toi Sartana, je m'appelle Trinita!

The farcical , absurd misadventures of Trinity (Harry Baird) and Sartana (Alberto Dell'Aqua) a pair of botcher villlains but never get to keep the loot for themselves . Along the way the two con artists wind up helping the members of a wagon train from losing their money to a gang of crooks , while Trinidad falls for a beautiful girl (Daniela Giordano) .

Silly slapstick euro-western and low-brow comedy in Terence Hill-Bud Spencer style with two anti-heroes forming a peculiar buddy-movie couple , and following their footloose, embarrassing adventures . Amusingly starred by Robert Widmark and Harry Baird , it is plenty of action , shootouts , tongue-firmly in cheek , fights with lots of punches , kick-ass , bounds , leaps , twists and loads of shots . The movie takes parts from Enzo Barboni movies such as ¨Trinity is my name¨ and ¨Trinity is still my name¨ . The picture is below-average but amusing at times , which doesn't say a lot because it has some cheap and ridiculous moments , too . Although , it packs some entertaining sketches and hilarious incidents , nevertheless , it seems to get worse and worse as it goes on . This is a lousy and irritating Faglioli-Spaghetti Western in Trinity and Bambino style and that's why there is a cult to idiocy surrealism , silliness , dirtiness with an appropriately goofy tone , customary issue in this sub-genre . The violence isn't crude but suits the light-weight fun comedy and silly slapstick, like the Trinity series , as this movie efforts to copy known scenes of other Spaghetti westerns . It certainly has an enthusiastic cast , plenty of familiar secondaries , some very impressive gymnastics , especially in the massive fight sequences , and particularly in Alberto Dell'Aqua acting and his gym skills , in fact he was regular stunt in a number of films , though he also starred a major Spaghetti Western : ¨Adios Texas¨ by Ferdinando Baldi with Franco Nero , and costarred with Lee Van Cleef ¨The Hired killer¨by Mario Siciliano himself and played a Zorro in ¨The Son o of Zorro¨ by Gianfranco Baldanello . The movie is filled with action , twists , fun , brawls , shootouts , surprise-filled entertainment and with a couple of frankly bemusement moments , but being an inferior spoof-Spaghetti . It does eventually outstay its welcome , and there are a surprising amount of fights and laughter . The movie is running out of ideas a lot ; however , being still good enough to be fun . It was followed by another similar sequel in similar style ¨Alleluja & Sartana Are Sons... Sons of God¨ (1972) with Ron Ely and "Robert Widmark", in which they play a horse thief referred to by the translated script as 'Sartana', the other a phony Preacher . Along with the two sympathetic protagonists - Harry Baird , Robert Widmark- appear ordinary secondary actors who are habitual in Italian Western and Peplum genre , such as : Stelio Candelli , Nello Pazzafini , Enzo Andronico ,Romano , Lars Bloch , Pietro Torrisi and the gorgeous Daniela Giordano who was Miss Italy .

This bewildering picture was lousily directed by Mario Siciliano . He was an Italian professional who wrote , produced, directed various films in all kinds of genres . As he directed s the following ones : Wartime (Seven red berets , Overrun) ,Terror (Evil eye) , Adventure (Lions of St Petersburg , Wild geese attack) , Erotic and Western (Alleluja and Sartana strike again ; Trinity and Sartana are coming) . Rating 3.5/10. Inferior Pasta Western and near unwatchable at times.

This film begins with a man by the name of "Trinity" (Harry Baird) being released from a small-town jail for being wrongly accused of horse theft. As it turns out, the man who stole the horses was a white man with blonde hair and Trinity definitely doesn't fit that description. Not long after he is released, he subsequently meets up with a man named "Sartana" (Robert Widmark) who just happens to be the same person who stole the horses. Together they ride out to their next destination to rob a bank that just received a cashbox full of money. What they don't know is that a wealthy member of this town by the name of "Mr. Burton" (Stelio Candelli) has already devised a plan to steal this shipment and doesn't like it when these two men acquire the money first. So, to prevent a future theft from going awry, he hires the services of a gang of Mexican bandits led by "El Tigre" (Ezio Marano) to help him out. But as notorious as El Tigre might be, he has no idea of the abilities the two men he will have to face. Now, rather than reveal any more, I will just say that this was a rather haphazard Spaghetti Western which relied upon humor as a key element. Unfortunately, it doesn't quite work very well as the comedy wasn't very sharp at all. As a matter of fact, if not for the presence of two beautiful actresses like Beatrice Pellegrino (as Burton's wife "Maribel") and Daniela Giordano ("Martha") I would have rated this film even lower as they were the only bright spots to be found.

First things first: get past the exploitive title, as this has no bearing on either the Terence Hill "Trinity" or the Gianni Garko "Sartana" series. You'll notice straightaway that Trinity is played by a black man (given his name, it is quickly explained, because he hails from Trinidad). And Sartana, although a handsome blonde, is more vagabond scoundrel than Garko's finely- dressed card-sharp. At least the two men are called by their titular names in the picture, which is untrue of some cash-in Western characters.

You'll find the film to be an affable, meandering, buddy-western comedy with no grand aspirations, but yet an agreeable watch for the genre fan.

The loose plot of the pic has our two partners-in-crime planning various schemes in order to line their pockets, and specifically to raise the $5000 necessary for Trinity to return to his homeland. Along the way, our heroes encounter the usual bumps in the road: crooked town bosses, pretty girls with bottles of wine, crusty old traveling musicians, Mexican bandits, etc. After numerous starts and stops, their final heist involves robbing a stagecoach headed for the US/Mexico border.

Despite the impediment of dubbed performances, I was quite enamored of Harry Baird as Trinity and Alberto ("Robert Widmark") Dell'Acqua as Sartana. Widmark, who we can only assume took his stage name from his slight resemblance to Richard Widmark, is a fresh- faced, grinning SOB who brings a spirit of mirth to his antics. He is also quite adept at acrobatic hand-to-hand combat and leaping stunts, bringing to mind Jackie Chan during the film's various brawls. Baird is more the straight man, with deadpan one-liners and reaction shots appropriately scattered throughout the proceedings.

A "funny", circus-like theme (by Carlo Savina) repeats here and there just to remind us not to take any of this too seriously -- the music is infectious and is one of the film's assets.

I saw a cropped, non-pan&scan version (101min) of this on a budget DVD, which detracted from the experience a bit. Don't know if a widescreen version is to be had anywhere but would be a great improvement.

TRINITY AND SARTANA, THOSE DIRTY SONS OF B****** (as the on screen title reads) plays as a genial, unimposing Spaghetti Western buddy comedy. Taken in the correct spirit it serves its purpose, led along by its two fine leads and a what-the-heck attitude. 6/10.

I watched this on an almost impossibly cropped version (starring 'ry Baird' and 'Rob Wid') with a metallic echo on the soundtrack for the entire running time, and I still kind of liked it. Trinity and his buddy Sartana (I think it's hinted that the real Sartana was his dad) set off to rob folks, have a punch, do some fancy shooting, and indulge in some banter. If your tolerance for Italian comedies is high, you'll get a kick out of this one. However, if you can't stand slapstick, I'd steer clear of this, because the film is full of it. There's even a Benny Hill, speeded up sequence, fake black eyes, and some hearty racist dialogue aimed at Trinity (who then kicks their heads in).

There's not much of a plot, just some crooks trying to get gold that our boys are after too. It's fairly fast paced and I didn't get bored once. It's also as daft as hell though, so be warned - this ain't no grim Western.

Ready for some cold spaghetti from the bottom of the pot? Despite being a good looking production, Trinity & Sartana is about as sophisticated as a Three Stooges short, only with fewer laughs, no chemistry from the two leads, and the worst spaghetti western score I've ever heard. Also, whoever designed "Sartana's" costume should be tarred and feathered.

Harry Baird, who plays Trinity (that's Trinity from Trinidad) and who's usually in better movies, heads a cast of familiar European faces in this typical tale of a couple of outlaws who find it easy to rob banks but hard to keep the money since Trinity (from Trinidad) keeps giving away the loot.

It's a testament to the popularity of the real Trinity and the real Sartana (and the real Django for that matter) that literally dozens of (mostly) dull movies came along to capitalize on them by attempting to trick unsuspecting moviegoers into watching inferior films.