La chose à deux têtes

Snowed in on an early December 2003 Sunday. Caught this one by accident on cable and couldn't stop watching. What a delightfully cheesy flick. The long chase scene was a howl. As the chase unfolded, you could tell most of the cars weren't even in running condition so they just pushed them off some steep hill to get them to roll and crash. The same car gets wrecked about 6 times again and again. The one liners are a riot. The acting, script and plot is too funny to even consider it legit. I'm surprised this didn't make the Rolling Stone 50 top cult film list. The music and score has that 70's wha-wha, bowchickabownow sound, right up until the end that is, when it suddenly turns Gospel, with Rosy, his old lady and the doctor driving off into the night singing "Oh Happy Days". What a wacky gem from 72! I recommend it if you're snowed in and you've got 90 mins. to kill. Enjoy!

I must start off by saying I love "B" movies, but even if you aren't normally a "B" movie fan you will get a kick out of this 1972 American International Picture. This movie pairs Ray Milland as a bigoted doctor who is dying of cancer who has his head transplanted on to the body of wrongly confused death row inmate Rosey Grier. The whole movie is bizarre from start to finish. Watch the two head gorilla run amok in a grocery store! See Rosey and Ray on a motorcycle trying to outrun the fuzz! Whoever came up with the concept for this turkey must have been on crack cocaine or LSD. One has to wonder what made Academy Award winner Ray Milland to even consider doing this movie. He had to be drunk, completely broke or both to appear in this mess. This movie is so bad it's great! If you have never seen this movie I recommend that you rent it and then call over a group of friends, break out the beer and the popcorn and then sit back for a fun evening.

"The Thing with Two Heads" is a masterpiece of 1970's explotiation. Everything is here: a no-talent Football star actor (Rosey Grier), Pre-"Smokey and the Bandit" car chases, motorcycles, blaxploitation cliches galore, cheap monsters, no budget, beyond-bad dialogue, a director who thought he was moving up and out of the porno industry, and, of course, the great Ray Milland, star of the incomparable 1970's classic "Frogs". Classic scenes: Convicted convict Grier comes out of anesthesia and expresses suprise and dismay at finding Ray Milland's head attached to his body. Grier: "What did you guys do to me?" Milland, sounding petulent: "We transplanted my head onto your body--now shut up!"

Grier and Milland (the two heads on Rosey's body, remember) show up at Grier's girlfriend's apartment in search of refuge from the cops: Grier: (noticing his gal's shock at seeing his 2-headed condition) "Don't worry baby, I won't hurt you." Girlfriend (looking unsure): "You get into more s***."

The whole film is like this. HIGH-larious. No one could do this on purpose, and that's what makes this 1970's classic such a fantastic find.

The head of a white bigoted doctor (sadly Ray Milland) is attached to the body of a wrongly convicted black man (Rosey Grier) on Death Row. Unfortunately, Grier's head is still attached. It escapes from a hospital and tries to clear Grier's name while Milland's head tries to take control of the body.

Totally ridiculous AIP movie which bears a more than passing resemblance to 1971's "Incredible Two-Headed Transplant". This movie doesn't take itself too seriously (how could it?) which helps--but only so much.

With the exception of Milland the acting is lousy and the script has howlers that you just can't believe (ex: when Grier's girlfriend first sees him with Milland's head she says, "Honey, I know you don't like answering questions, but HOW did this happen?"). Basically this is a very bad movie but in a good way. The scenes of Milland and Grier arguing are truly funny and there's a very long (at least 20 minutes) but fun chase with tons of police cars chasing Grier/Milland on a motorcycle. Not even remotely good but fun.

Another great line from Grier's girlfriend: "Do you have two of anything else?"

If you thought THE DEFIANT ONES was the ultimate in forced race relations, try watching this horror classic from "adults only" vets Lee Frost and Wes Bishop! Ray Milland (yes, the same Ray Milland who won a Best Actor Oscar for his excellent turn in 1945's THE LOST WEEKEND) is a brilliant-but-racist brain surgeon who is dying, but has perfected a way to live on through head-transplants. Someone out there decides to teach him a lesson by placing his bigoted noggin on the body of a black convict (former professional football star Rosey Grier). The heads fight, punch each other and go through many other genuinely (and unintentionally) hilarious slapstick scenes. Try not to laugh watching Grier running around or riding on a motorcycle with a ridiculous-looking fake dummy-head planted on his shoulders.

Not to be confused with THE INCREDIBLE TWO HEADED TRANSPLANT (1971) or Andy Milligan's THE MAN WITH TWO HEADS (1972).

Score: 5 out of 10 (Though a MUST for camp aficionados!)