L'auberge de la terreur

terror house aka;terror at red wolf inn is a very strange black comedy about a college girl(Linda gillen)who gets a letter telling her she won a trip to red wolf inn.so she packs her bags and embarks on a little vacation at a country inn run by an elderly couple with a secret.the print i seen was rated pg most likely edited.but its still a gruesome little chiller and paved the way for Texas chainsaw massacre and last house on the left.the title red wolf inn made me think it was a British film,but its American and from the looks low budget,not a bad little film.i call it a gruesome comedy horror,the actress Linda gillen looks a lot like Allison Hannigan(American pie,Buffy the vampire slayer)6 out of 10.

Wow. Haha, this one rulez. The version I saw was called TERROR ON THE MENU and made me think twice about that Subway sandwich I had squirreled away for a late night snack ... Eww. This is a nice, subtle little Regional Horror/Comedy effort who's nuances may elude modern day audiences (re: the morons who liked stuff like CHAOS or SAW) but movie fans with a taste for the bizarre and a morbid sense of humor will be well served. Ladled in pun.

THE PLOT: A young circa 1972 era Earth Mother type college babe finds out on the last day of classes that she has been selected the "winner" of an all expenses paid getaway vacation to the Red Wolf Inn, a picturesque Bed & Breakfast on the coast run by an older couple who are the very definition of Ma & Pa Kettle. Some other young ladies are also staying as guests, and after a very elaborate dinner party one of them vanishes. Then another. She starts to get the idea that something is wrong, especially when the grandson of the family catches a shark at the beach one day and proceeds to beat the thing to death against a rock.

That's all I am going to reveal, except to heap praise on that first dinner party, one of the most outrageous cinematic eating experiences since the Eyeball Soup and Chilled Monkey Brains gags from Indiana Jones. The best part of it is the way that the characters chew their food. They don't just masticate, they linger over every mouthful with Pa Kettle stuffing his jowly cheeks with bite after bite of fresh rib tenderloin to the point where he starts to hyperventilate. He chews and chews and chews with an almost orgasmic pleasure that is not just disturbing, it is obscene. They eat and eat and eat until everyone is stuffed and exhausted from the effort ... And then it is time for a slice of that special Key Lime cake. Oh yeah.

This is one of those movies that you are either going to get or you won't. My favorite bit of dialog is when Ma Kettle brings the young guest a plate of sandwiches. She bites down, savoring the special flavor and asks, "What is this?" "Fillet, my dear. Fillet." Lead Linda Gillen is also a bit of subtle mastery, having a kind of quiet sexiness about her that is extremely infectious + kissable, and Ma & Pa Kettle are just the spittin' image of wholesome Americana. They are all about sit down dinners, Sunday afternoon drives, garden chores and old fashioned telephones. Everything in the movie is the perfect display of harmless tradition right down to their grandson and his cousin, the local sheriff. Some folks these days might not understand but if you bring your appetite and finish your plate, I am sure you'll feel right at home. It's like David Lynch crossed with that old TV series V.

The only problem I had with the film is the last 2 seconds after the hilarious closing credits: The filmmakers decided to try and have their cake and eat it too, so to speak, though any movie this perversely good natured gets a pass for not knowing when to quit. Pass the salt.

8/10

This is an off-beat horror film produced by Michael Macready(he produced the two Count Yorga films) and directed by Bud Townsend. It stars Linda Gillen as a young college girl going off for a free vacation to an old-fashioned resort on the beach. It turns out to be not much of a resort with only two other attractive female guests(Pamela and Edwina), Baby John, Uncle Henry, and Aunt Evelyn. The owners, it seems, like to butcher the young girls for their food and prepare them in fantastic culinary dishes. Prior to each girl's departure(their supposed last night at the resort), Aunt Evie and Uncle Henry throw a party and a gourmet meal. Regina(Gillen) catches on and the film moves into some chase scenes and bizarre humour. I found this film to be very suspenseful, tense, and chilling. Many reviewers seem to label it as a comedy-horror film, but there really is not a whole lot of humour other than that of a very underlying subtle kind. The most haunting aspect of the film has to be the performances of Mary Jackson(of Walton's fame) and Arthur Space as the kindly-looking couple that run the inn. They really seem so very nice and normal in many regards, but there is always an underlying sense of something not quite right. This is first evident in a scene which has to be one of the most orgiastic food scenes ever filmed as all the guests and hosts eat a crowned rib roast on Regina's first night at the inn celebrating Pamela's departure. The way all of them attack the food with wild abandon and seem to be lost in pure ecstasy is amazing and horrifying at the same time. Another scene with the somewhat mentally-challenged Baby John catching a shark in the surf and then beating it against a rock is a well-shot scene. Still another wonderful scene is when Edwina's night has come and you see the three hotel folks, dressed in butcher smocks, travel upstairs as a lullaby plays. Quite effective and innovative camerawork here. The film is not particularly gory. It plays things pretty straight until the end, which is really not simpatico with the rest of the film. The end seems a bit rushed and forced, and there is even an attempt at some much broader comedy. It doesn't really work, yet the film as a whole is a very chilling...even disturbing about the nature of madness and trust.

Brad Pitt look-alike John Neilson plays Baby John, the twenty-something grandson of elderly couple Evelyn (Jackson) and Henry (Space) who run a quaint seaside bed & breakfast sinisterly named the "Red Wolf Inn" where the menu is expansive in both volume and origin. Baby John takes a liking to one of the three nubile young house guests invited to holiday at the inn after supposedly winning a competition. Mysteriously, two of the girls disappear without saying goodbye leading the third (Gillen) to suspect that the overly gracious hospitality is not all as it seems.

Director Townsend has fashioned a reasonably taut thriller with a capable cast led by newcomer Gillen, as the perky yet naive college student duped into the darkest depravities of a twisted old couple and their behaviourally immature grandson. Jackson and Space manage their quirky characterisations with seasoned professionalism, Neilson is a twisted yet somewhat sympathetic man-child, and the supporting cast including Margaret Avery and Michael MacReady add familiarity, but it's Gillen's engaging personality that is the real surprise package.

While no longer an original concept, and not quite a masterpiece, in 1972 it was a pioneering concept, well handled with enough drama, humour, horror and realism to punch above its relative bantam weight. My only gripe is with the farcical conclusion, by which I felt somewhat cheated; despite the curious ending, it's not a comedy, which more than a few chilling moments will attest, and entertain.

"A college student returns to her dorm room after class and discovers she is the winner of an all-expense paid vacation to the Red Wolf Inn. Before she can share her good fortune with her parents, she and two other girls are whisked away to begin their vacation of a lifetime. When one of the guests suddenly disappears, the young woman doesn't believe the explanation the old couple who run the inn gives her concerning the strange goings on at the Red Wolf," according to the DVD sleeve's synopsis.

Offering a delicious slice of low-budget horror cheese; director Bud Townsend and writer Allen Actor, along with a wonderful cast, should absolutely exceed your expectations. There are some flaws, and unanswered questions -- like, what happened to Myrtle? -- but, "Terror House" is too fun to pass up.

Linda Gillen (as Regina McKee) plays a sweet, adorable lead character; and, doesn't she have a great arrangement of The Beatles' "White Album" photos on her dorm wall? John Neilson (as "Baby" John Smith) is just as adorable, albeit touched; love him licking his finger after going for the bottle of after dinner brandy. It's a wonder neither Ms. Gillen nor Mr. Neilson became better known; they certainly had the hair to succeed through the 1980s.

Players in tasty supporting roles include overeating Margaret Avery (as Edwina), hortophile Arthur Space (as Henry), and well-read Janet Wood (as Pamela). But, the best of all may be marvelous "Grandma" Mary Jackson (as Evelyn Smith); her performance definitely is one to savor. Like Ms. Jackson says, "Don't be a party pooper!" Mind your "Grandma", and give yourself a big helping of "Terror House".

****** Terror House (1972) Bud Townsend ~ Linda Gillen, John Neilson, Mary Jackson