Miss Melody Jones

"Miss Melody Jones" is a film which has some very divergent reviews so far...at least when it comes to scores by these reviewers. The film has a 10, 9, 3 and my 1. Why are the scores this disparate? Well, if you read the reviews we actually all thought the film was terribly made and the star was simply awful...but a couple gave it high scores because the film is so laughably bad. I can definitely understand this, though I tend to give laughably bad films (like "The Apple" and "Plan 9 From Outer Space") scores of 1....because they are technically godawful. Clearly as you watch "Miss Melody Jones", you'll see it's indeed this bad.

The story is about an aspiring young actress, Melody (Philomena Nowlin), who has absolutely no talent whatsoever....and it's obvious to folks watching the film. She cannot act and has a voice that is sometimes LESS pleasant than Edith Bunker's or Betty Boop's! The funny part is that the exploitation filmmakers who cast this character in her first movie go on and on again and again about how talented she is! This is like folks saying Tommy Wiseau deserved a Best Actor Oscar for "The Room" or how a paint-by-numbers project belongs in the Louvre!

The story is a bit like "A Star is Born"....a young girl with spunk going to Hollywood to make it big. But in the movie versions of this, the women playing Esther Blodgett actually had talent! Here, it just seems inexplicably why anyone would say Melody has any.

Now I want to make one thing clear. Despite hating everything about this film (the direction, the incompetent cinematography and the acting by everyone), I don't want to be cruel about Philomena's acting. She was young and this was only her second of two films to her credit. With LOTS of voice coaching, decent direction and experience, she might have developed into a talented actress. But here, it's obvious she's in way over her head and doesn't have the necessary experience and training to star in a movie. I honestly wish her the best....but given the limitations of the film, even if Bette Davis or Meryl Streep starred in this early in their careers, it would have still sucked...though not THIS badly.

This movie is amazing on sooooo many levels - first of all - it contains (without a doubt) the worst lead performance I have ever seen in a movie. Philomena Nowlin has a voice that is a combo of Betty Boop/Jennifer Tilly and Edith Bunker and together it is so shrill and grating that it would make all wildlife run away. So what does the director do with this annoying voice? Why he gives it tons of long monologues - yes, that's right - she goes on and on - talking and talking as if she has the dulcet tones of a classically trained RSC actress. Yikes!!! Plus you can just tell she has no idea what she's doing and also in a rather endearing Ed Wood kind of way - she flubs her lines often and they just keep rolling!!! I feel that second takes did not exist on this movie. And it's not just her - the male lead is also dead-eyed and speaks in a monotone. Now, aside from all this - the movie is a hoot. Unintentionally hilarious - a cliché-ridden story of a girl who comes to Hollywood to "make it" and encounters sleazy porn producers, gay roomies, butch female agents and strippers - wow! You can also tell the movie's "script" was probably very thin so they pad the movie with long montages of Melody walking in the park, dancing at a party and --- best of all -- her riding a bicycle built for TWO with the male lead --- I was lucky enough to see this at a movie theater and the audience ate it up for what it is - a bad 1970's Hollywood Is A Tough Town, Tootsie type of tome.

I had to see this film based on other comments I'd heard about it. I happen to be a huge "blaxploitation" nut, but this was too much. Probably one of the most useless films ever made. Does this mean you shouldn't see it? No!! Absolutely see this movie. It's so bad it's genius! There is no way that there is another African American film of the 1970's that can compare to this one...that is for sure! Also the girl who plays the lead role.....she should totally be brought back into film. I hope Quentin Tarrantino brings her back into one of his films, that would be so awesome. She is one of a kind and quite frankly GREAT in this role about a nice girl dealing with a "cry tough" town!