Invasion of the Blood Farmers

Some evil cult are killing people and harvesting their blood to try and awake some stupid broad, I think. Invasion Of The Blood Farmers reminds me of two movies: I Drink Your Blood and The Crazies. Why I say this is based on how the movie was directed and the conception which involves blood cults and raving lunatics. Unfortunately, it's not as compelling as the movie tries desperately to be spontaneous and insane but ends up boring. Plus the acting was annoying as hell. It does have some bloody crap (PG my fat a··) and a few "so bad it's good" moments but it's not enough to salvage this film. Maybe worth watching once, I don't know.

In rural New York, fiendish farmers are abducting people and harvesting their blood! Have the dastardly druids of old returned to appease their gore-loving gods? Or, have aliens arrived to siphon the populace dry? Or, both?

Local scientists uncover blood that increases in volume, while bloodstains refuse to be cleaned up from the floor of the local saloon! Can science unlock the secrets of the INVASION OF THE BLOOD FARMERS?

Beware! If the sight of pink blood makes you ill, stay away! If fuzzy dogs turning into car wash buffers makes you retch, steer clear! If the thought of a man showering causes you intestinal distress, run away, now! If farmers frighten you, then, well, flee immediately! There are actual farmers in this film! In straw hats and overalls! With a barn!

IN ADDITION, THERE IS: #1- A bellowing scientist with flyaway hair! #2- A jiggling man, jabbering like he's being electrocuted and staked to an anthill, simultaneously! #3- A space hippie / druid, who speaks as though he's rehearsing for the play-within-a-play sequence in HAMLET! #4- A shirtless hillbilly with an ax! #5- A staggering drunk, staggering to his own theme song! #6- A sheriff who sounds an awful lot like Frosty The Snowman in a mob movie!

All this in a town where it's always broad daylight, even at night! And! So! Much! More!

A non-produced, misdirected, miraculous shambles! Hyper-schlock addicts rejoice aloud! Thy deliverance is at hand...

A young couple run into a deadly rural Blood Cult. Oh, and let's not forget that there's a guy named Jim Carrey (yes, that's the characters name.)

Written and directed by the guys that gave you "Shreik of the Mutilated", "Invasion of the Blood Farmers" is one of those really bad but hilarious cheap independent horror movies that came before the likes of "Halloween" changed the way horror is done. Much like "Mutilated" and "The Corpse Grinders", you can't help but laugh at the proceedings.

The acting is bad (when is it not in these kinds of horror movies?), the cult wears garb that looks like something a Klansman would wear, the movie is rarely coherent, and yet, you never feel bored while you watch it. It's the kind of horror movie that is insanely bad, yet is bad in an enjoyable way.

Fun fact: There was a great Doom Metal band named "Blood Farmers" named after this (well, yeah), who are worth checking out.

INVASION OF THE BLOOD FARMERS deserves a 10 for the title alone. Unfortunately, as great a "bad" movie as it is, the film doesn't live up to its amazing title. There are some brilliant moments here and there that transcend cinematic reality or just plain reality but the film is too casual about everything and the fantastically brilliant "bad" moments are too far in-between to make this another PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE. There is some gore for gorehounds. There's a very goofy story and set-up for those who love unintentional comedies. There some really bad acting for those who love watching nobodies make fools of themselves. There's some nudity for those who need that in order to be entertained. The film also has a great "local" atmosphere to it that no movie made in Hollywood can recreate. And the ending has to be seen to be believed. But I wasn't amused by it as much as I expected to be with a film with such a sensational title. It's fun but you need to press the fast forward button from time to time.

I was compelled for quite a long time to watch Invasion of the Blood Farmers, which has been described as the "companion" to Shriek of the Mutilated (one of my favorite schlocky films). The same folks behind that masterpiece created this one. I finally caved in and bought the DVD. From the opening scene, where the victim is stumbling down the road looking like he's doing some strange dance while people in the bar (called the Huddle 2, no less!) make comments about him being loaded, I wasn't disappointed. Very similar to Shriek in many ways, unfortunately, down the to background music, which is by a composer named Bohuslav Martinu, I've learned. Great soundtrack, but this similarity kind of detracted a bit for me. But there are some great moments....and some familiar faces, for those who have seen Shriek! You'll see a lovable, kooky old professor and his protege that discover a blood sample that grows and looks like fizzy cherry soda! A freaky druid later sucks the blood from a dog...which suddenly becomes a white shaggy bathroom rug! Weirdo druids and their queen who rests in a plexiglass coffin! The bottom line, though, for me was that it wasn't quite as compelling as Shriek...the end, for example, was kind of lame and predictable. HOWEVER...if you are one of those who are into this kind of cheese-a-rama horror (which, for me, differs from those who are into slasher movies) you will enjoy.