Hanzo the Razor - L'épée de la justice

No pun intended with my summary line. I actually did expect something along the lines of "Zatoichi" when I watched this at a local cinema, as part of Retrospective. Well I was in for a treat (and if you have seen the movie, you do know what I'm talking about), because it is anything but that.

I like Zatoichi-style action, don't get me wrong and there is quite a bit of action on display here. But mainly the "sword of justice" might be something else than you'd expect. Unless you know what you are getting into that is. Speaking of "getting into" ... well better not, I don not want to get to graphic here. The movie is doing more than a good job, so I leave it to the film to blow your mind (if you can get your head around the idea and weirdness of it all, that is). The ending did seem a bit rushed though ... but I guess that happened for a reason.

Part Zatoichi, part Dirty Harry and part Dirk Diggler, Hanzo 'The Razor' Itami (Shintarô Katsu) is an incorruptible Edo-period lawman, highly skilled in the martial arts, and a big hit with the ladies, who are more than happy to tell him everything after receiving a thorough pounding from his over-sized trouser truncheon. In fact, Hanzo is so bad-ass, that he regularly tests his endurance to the limits, suffering extreme pain during prolonged bouts of self-inflicted torture, and dousing his massive member in hot water before bashing it with a stick and ramming it repeatedly into a bag of rice.

After apprehending a small-time criminal (by crushing his nose into a bloody pulp), Hanzo learns that a contract killer named Kanbei has somehow escaped from the island to which he was banished. As he follows a trail of deceit and corruption that leads all the way to the Inner Castle, home to some of the region's most powerful people, Hanzo upsets a few officials, inflicts major damage on those crazy enough to take him on in a fight, and interrogates a few lovely ladies in his own inimitable style.

Although I admittedly lost track of proceedings from time to time (over complicated plot or stupid viewer—you decide), the cool 70s trappings (surreal visuals, split screen, funky soundtrack etc), inventive soft-core coupling, incredibly bloody action (including ruptured eyeballs and assorted nasty wounds spurting geysers of blood), twisted humour, and general craziness ensured that Hanzo was a consistently entertaining piece of exploitation from start to finish.

What can I say about this movie? It is the kind of a story you would describe to a psychiatrist and then add, "At that point, I woke up". A law officer, whose morals are above reproach, rapes female suspects to get them to confess. He also gets sexually aroused by torture.

One might get the impression that the star and producer, Shintaro Katsu, arrived at the conclusion one day that he had enough money to make a movie about his darkest sexual fantasies to watch in his old age.

And yet, I liked the movie...as incomprehensible as much of the plot was... Obviously Katsu is an excellent actor. One sees absolutely no trace of the charismatic Zatoichi character in his Hanzo. He is a different person altogether. Zatoichi lived within society and corruption. Hanzo is fighting a one sided battle against it.

Great 70's samurai film. What separates it from other classics of the same era, like the Lone Wolf and Cub and Sleepy Eyes of Death series, is its decidedly tawdry sexual aspects- Hanzo's mammoth penis aka-"The Long Arm of the Law", and his 'interrogation' of female suspects. In essence it is one part samurai film, one part rouge cop/Dirty Harry flick, and one part soft core porno.

A bit slow in the action department, with a few brief sequences. The film mainly takes focus on Hanzo dealing with the ladies, as well as, the corrupt officials that try to undermine him. If you want action every five minutes, go elsewhere. If you want a super groovy soundtrack, look no further. Definitely hard to forget.

Kenji Misumi directs Zatoichi himself (Shintarô Katsu) as the untouchable constable from Edo, Hanzo Itami. It is interesting to note that Kenji previously directed Shintaro in the Zatoichi series and followed it up by directing Shintaro's brother (Tomisaburo Wakayama) in the Lone Wolf & Cub series. This is the first in the Hanzo trilogy and is the only one directed by Kenji Misumi (each movie had a different director).

Hanzo has been a constable for 4 years but has not as yet taken the policeman's blood oath. He refuses to make such an oath because the police accept gifts from the daiyamo (lords), the brothels and tradesman for the purpose of mitigating punishment or the dismissal of offenses. Hanzo's duties (according to Hanzo) is not to protect the samurai and the rich, but is instead to protect the farmers and townsmen and to be allowed to perform his duties as peace keeper and enforcer of the law. This is the only thing that he will swear in blood to.

Hanzo is not your typical constable. He is well known in Edo. He is equal parts Dirty Harry, Robocop, and John Holmes. Hanzo's techniques are far from clean. His ends justify his means. As a constable he has to deal with the filth and unclean. Hanzo bears the scars of many torture sessions. During the sessions he reaches some sort of nirvana (past the pain) which helps him to effectively administer torture and to experience what those he tortures feel. It is also a cleansing technique for him (sometimes with unexpected results). He knows of many different type of cleansing techniques (a.k.a. torture) including :

1) kneeling on triangular wooden boards, tied to a pole and having his ex-criminals servants put giant stone slabs (5 to be exact) on top of his knees.

2) a hot bath followed by the pouring of hot water over his penis. Then the banging of his penis with a stick into a wooden board (he has done this so many times the stool has a "large" form indented in it). Finally he has sex with a straw bag full off rice while 70's sex music is playing in the background.

When Kanbei the Killer escapes, Hanzo is hot on his trail. This trail leads to places Hanzo did not expect (i.e. - Omino the magical woman with a Brazilian wax job). He gets this info by using his special torture techniques (in this movie he only tortures women). There are several techniques he uses and they both involve having sex with a bound woman. One confession was obtained in a hot tub with sake (Austin Powers style) and the other in a vertical cargo net dreidel-style.

This movie is typical of the chambara style (dramatic samurai movie set in the Edo period). Typical elements include sword fight sequences in which one man fights many opponents, yet never more than one at a time. It is like the checkout line at Duane Reade. Death sequences are often stylize and includes the vertical gushing of blood, graphic death and dismemberments (in this movie Hanzo uses spiked iron knuckles to burst eyes and concrete slabs), the use of makeup for the hero and crazy haircuts for the villains. The movie does reflect the era it was filmed in. From the walking montage and the "hero" theme music to Hanzo's side burns, this movie is crawling with 70's nostalgia.

The story and action is very straight forward. The S&M elements and Hanzo himself is what stands this movie apart from others of this style. Zatoichi is a blind masseuse with excellent sword skills. Lone Wolf was the Shogun's executioner and travels with his infant son in a carriage. Hanzo relies on his "training", "persuasive" technique with women and an unwavering sense of duty. I highly recommend this movie for fans of chambara and action fans in general.

-Celluloid Rehab