The Telephone Book

I didn't know of this obscure movie until I went on YouTube and discovered its trailer on it. It depicted a voice of a man who claims if he chooses to, he could seduce the president of the United States and his family! So I just watched the whole thing and it's quite weird what with some confessions of former obscene phone callers put in between the story of a young woman wanting to meet her obscene phone caller. It takes place in New York City during the early '70s in mostly black and white, only turning to color when an animated sequence comes on during a live-action sequence taking place in two phone booths. Oh, and there are early appearances of future stars like Jill Clayburgh. So on that note, The Telephone Book is one weird movie that's quite amusing if not completely hilarious.

That is the only word to describe this totally off the wall comedy/art/porno. The story runs like this, a young and very cute girl (Sarah Kennedy) is sitting at home one day (probably looking at her pornographic wallpaper!). The phone rings, she picks up. Lo and behold it is, John Smith, the worlds greatest obscene phone caller! She instantly falls in love with his "amazing obscenities" and goes on a sexual adventure searching for him. This movie is NOT like your average porno, to be honest I did not even see anything close to hard sex. What I did see was a visual, auditory and sexual explosion of sheer oddity. If there was an 11 out of 10 this is the only movie I know that would get it!!!

Who is John Smith? why....every man's deepest fantasy of course. As he utters at one point and which sums up this incredibly original and black-humored ode to left wing sexuality..."I have perfected the obscene call to the point where I could seduce the President, his wife and his family - but I have no political ambition!"

Poor old Alice, cute little Goldie Hawn wannabe and who is a couple of bra-sizes short of average intelligence, she decides to answer her telephone! Big mistake - it is the world's most experienced serially-obscene phone caller. Does she care? No, she falls in love with him. She must embark now on the ultimate sexual odyssey to discover the joys of true spoken obscenity.

This film is unlike anything else ever made - as original as ERASERHEAD, as meaningless as an Osmond Brothers album. You have to see it...if for no other reason to witness Barry Morse's cameo to end all cameos. They surely COULDN'T have paid him to do it...he MUST have paid them!

I have had this film for twenty years and STILL haven't let my kids see it! I think mine is the only copy in Australia, if not the southern hemisphere. A deep deep underground film that could NEVER have found theatrical release I imagine.

Funny, near brilliant, underground movie about the sexual perversions of everyday people. Centers around Kennedy (who is a shoe in for a young Goldie Hawn) and her various experiences trying to find John Smith the greatest obscene phone caller she's ever heard. Problem is it's New York City, which leads her to a lot of wrong Smiths. The 'real' John Smith is played by actor Norman Rose who's deep resonate, 'newsman' voice (he's worked as a narrator on many other features) only adds to the hilarity as he explains in great detail how he came to be the 'greatest obscene phone caller of all time'. This is interspread by 'true life' confessions of former obscene phone callers that are so twisted you'll just have to laugh. Also has a wild,'far out' animated sequence that could easily fit into a Marilyn Manson video. Much more provacative than today's hardcore adult films, which tend to be very mechanical. A truly unique film viewing experience that is similar to the much herald PUTNEY SWOPE, but is more consistently funnier and imaginative. A terrific example of 'grass roots' filmmaking were the creativity and ingenuity of the director makes todays $200 million, special effects laden blockbusters look as stale as yesterday's lunch. Most amazing scene features actor Barry Morse (Lt Griggs of the old FUGITIVE TV series) having over ten naked women lay on top of him at the same time!!

The Telephone Book has developed a cult following over the years due to its pedigree (Nelson Lyon, a future writer of Saturday Night Live) and cast (William Hickey, Jill Clayburgh). However, it is still an early 70's softcore sex comedy, the type of film Something Weird Video specializes in. The plot has a young woman being so turned on by an obscene phone call that she attempts to track down the caller. This leads to encounters with all types of crazies as the woman wanders around Manhattan.

For what it is, The Telephone Book shows more imagination than most of its type. The film even includes an animated section where a giant woman has sexual intercourse with a skyscraper. This section and a housewife's dirty monologue about a banana are the only laugh out loud moments in the film. The rest of the jokes only slightly amuse (at best) . One is advised to view the film with expectations set by the genre and not by its cult reputation.