Captain Apache

Spanish production from director Alexander Singer, an inferior descendant of the spaghetti western taken from S.E. Whitman's book, has Apache Indian Lee Van Cleef, an Army Captain in the Old West, butting heads with a shifty-eyed land baron (Stuart Whitman) who is predictably up to no good. Cheaply-made, and with laughable dubbing, though with a great deal of eccentric characters and intentionally-funny dialogue. Odd to see method player Carroll Baker in these dusty surroundings, but she's very energetic. Fans of Sergio Leone's vastly smoother and more slick genre epics will nevertheless find a decent movie companion here. ** from ****

Alexander Singer's "Captain Apache" of 1971 is often regarded as one of the worst Eurowesterns ever made. I am a Spaghetti Western enthusiast, and I've seen many many Eurowesterns (I won't call this a Spaghetti Western, since it's not an Italian production, and neither the director nor the supporting actors are Italian) and I agree that Captain Apache is certainly a bad movie, although I would not go so far to call it one of the worst Eurowesterns. It actually has some very funny moments, and if you regard it as a comedy more than a Western that is supposed to deliver suspense, gunplay, atmosphere whatsoever, it will definitely entertain.

Lee Van Cleef is one of my favorite actors, this movie provides the exceptional opportunity to hear Van Cleef sing. His singing qualities are terrible, he sings two songs in this movie "April Morning" and the main theme, "Captain Apache". While "April Morning" is very funny to her because it sounds so damn terrible when Lee Van Cleef sings, "Captain Apache" is far from good, but not that horrible, since he doesn't sing but just speaks the text in this one.

Van Cleef doesn't have his trademark mustache in this one, he plays a native American army captain, Captain Apache, and is constantly referred to as 'redass' by other characters in this movie. The only other Spaghetti Western Regular in "Captain Apache" is José Bólado, whom Spaghetti Western fans should know for his role in Sergio Corbucci's masterpiece "Django" of 1966. I also recognized Dan Van Husen, who played one half of a pair of flamboyant, idiotic (and hilarious) twins in this, I had seen him in "Light The Fuse... Sartana Is Coming" and in "Cut Throats Nine".

All things considered, "Captain Apache is a bad film, if you consider it as a Spaghetti Western and expect qualities like great style, a cool score, suspense and gunplay or interesting Antihero characters. It works as a comedy, however, and I don't even think that most of the hilariously stupid elements were unintentional. I personally think that the director was quite aware that he was directing a very cheesy flick, and he probably tried to compensate the unintentional comedy factors by adding (admittedly cheesy) humor that was quite intentional. I don't have the slightest doubt that Lee Van Cleef was 100 % aware that this would be one of his worst, if not his worst film, and he took it with a sense of humor and tried to make the best out of it.

I recommend "Captain Apache" to Eurowestern fans, simply for the fun factor and for the opportunity of hearing Van Cleef sing. People not familiar with the Spaghetti Western genre, avoid this, and watch the genre masterpieces with Lee Van Cleef such as "The Good, The Bad And The Ugly" (one of the greatest movies ever made and my all-time favorite), "For A Few Dollars More", "The Big Gundown", "Day Of Anger" or "Death Rides A Horse" instead.

Don't expect anything that could be taken seriously, but I still recommend this to my fellow Spaghetti Western fans, just for the heck of it. Lee Van Cleef is always worth the time. 4/10

In spite of continuing abuse from the surrounding people the army life has obviously made good to Van Cleef. The hair from his upper lip has moved on the top of his head, multiplied and grown darker in color. He has never looked as good, relaxed and fast with women. He has never looked as much a comic book westerner either. Check out the fancy leather jacket and how he sucks in his whole belly while posing in a loin cloth.

Now seriously, this is a funny western without really being a western comedy. The cast and the director must have had a lot of fun too doing this and getting paid for it. The heavy hallucination scene jumps out as the most fun, even though the whole film seems like a mad dream. It is like something lifted out of a really old comic book. Gladly, I like a lot of comics and movies that are so bad they transform into good in a whole another context. All the like minded cultured ones, be informed.

By the way, the story of this film brings to mind something similar from Jean Giraud's great Blueberry comics albums. And the excellent movie 'Blueberry' having been hailed as the first psychedelic western with mushroom munching... sorry, Captain Apache kind of got there first. And he sings too!

"Ah aha aha ahaaaa - they call him Captain Apache".

"Well any film that provides you with an opportunity to hear Lee Van Cleef singing not just once, but twice has got to be worth a viewing" I thought to myself. "I'm sure it can't be as bad as I've been told". Well in truth it IS that bad. But it doesn't make it unwatchable! Lee Van Cleef plays an Apache Captain within the Army that is sent to investigate the murder of a Commissioner, and discover the meaning of the dying man's last words "April Morning".

It plays like a murder mystery in a western setting, with numerous characters introduced throughout that appear to have heard the phrase "April Morning", but are either attempting to solve the riddle themselves, or are shot before they can speak. These include gunrunner Griffin (Stuart Whitman), the blonde temptress Maude (Caroll Baker) and the equally teasing Rosita (Elisa Montes). And from a plot perspective, that is pretty much it (well, without solving the mystery that is!). Yes, it sounds very simple, but in actual fact the story is quite convoluted.

The soundtrack is hysterical - the title track in particular being so bad that you just love it - with Lee Van Cleef narrating to a tune so catchy that it would put professional purveyors of pop to shame! And you still get his rendition "April Morning" at the end of the film to look forward to.

Whilst it is quite poor Spaghetti Western fare, and a perfect example of the deterioration of the genre during the seventies, it does have three main factors that make it quite watchable :

1 - Lee Van Cleef himself - although this is a real LVC by numbers effort, the man has a screen presence that can rescue even the worst of films.

2 - The afore-mentioned theme tune.

3 - Caroll Baker and Elisa Montes (thats just the male hormones working! And anyway ladies, you get the bonus of a near naked Lee Van Cleef, so no accusing me of gawping!).

Aside from this, there are some really good moments (Captain Apache insulting the two twins, the death of the Mexican General (played by Jose Bodalo) and a handful of other scenes that I chuckled at at the time but have since left my mind). At times the editing between scenes was quite poor (at one point jumping from Captain Apache in bed with Maude, to them discovering the hanging body of the key witness). Well hung!

Don't let me put you off watching it, because it is an example of a film being so bad its good. I would never have imagined however that Lee Van Cleef crooning would be the highlight of a film!

After an Indian commissioner is found murdered in the Arizona territory a cavalry officer by the name of "Captain Apache" (Lee Van Cleef) is ordered to investigate. And in the course of his investigation he discovers that the last words uttered by the victim was "April morning". Somewhat puzzled he asks certain key people in the closest town what it means but he soon finds out that because he is half-Indian they want nothing to do with him. Not only that but there are a couple of people who have become unusually interested in these two words as well and they are determined to find out what it means at all costs. Now rather than reveal any more I will just say that, although this was an usual role for Lee Van Cleef, he seemed well-suited for it. He also sang two songs in the movie but neither were sufficient for him to consider giving up his acting career over. In any case, while certainly not a great western by any means, I found it to be worth the time spent and I have rated it accordingly. Average.