The Phynx

Nice to see the old TV Stars from the 50s and 60s but the movie overall is not worth watching for any other reason. It was nice to see actors like Clint Walker and Johnny Weismuller on the screen once again. The movie, however, has no character to it what so ever.

Somebody's stealing the celebrities of Hollywood's Golden Age, and that somebody is in Communist Albania. Our Super Secret Agency spies get the idea that the way to bring the celebrities back is to create some new celebrities, in the form of a pop band who will get invited to Albania themselves. Thus the band "The Phynx" is created. (The less said about the music of Lieber and Stoller, the better. Although, there was one song that kept reminding me of the Fifth Dimension's "Up, Up and Away".) The movie is normally considered a bomb, although I found it not quite as bad as that. The build-up is exceedingly slow, and most of the celebrities are underused. Thankfully, most of the celebrities - at least, the ones in Albania - are introduced red-carpet style so nobody will have trouble putting names to faces. The people playing the band members, of course, have no acting talent, although they could probably dance as well as Ruby Keeler.

There are a lot of celebrities in this one. Maureen O'Sullivan and Johnny Weismuller; Rudy Vallee; Huntz Hall and Leo Gorcey, the latter looking like death warmed over (he died before the movie was released); George Jessel; and even Col. Sanders are among those in captivity in Albania. Joan Blondell plays the First Lady of Albania. Martha Raye is one of the few who gets a chance to shine as the Agency's contact in London. James Brown comes next closest to shining. Richard Pryor is woefully underused.

One other good thing is the sequence in Rome. The band members are looking for a piece of a map tattooed on a woman's abdomen; they're given x-ray glasses to look through people's clothes. This sets up several opportunities for sight gags, some of which actually work. There's one of a man chatting up a woman in a club, where it turns out that both of them are actually men, and another of two young women talking to two nuns.

If you like "so bad it's good" movies, this one is actually worth watching since you'll find a whole bunch of "What were they thinking?" moments. I give it a 7/10 on that scale, not on the same scale I would rate Casablanca.

This horrible, unfunny spy yarn trots out a gigantic assortment of celebrities in a vain attempt to add something to fill its vacuum of story and film-making. Its supposed plot concerns Michael Ansara playing a mad military general of Albania who kidnaps celebrities to give the essentially imprisoned Albanian President (George Tobias) and wife (Joan Blondell) some famous company to keep them busy. The General continually foils the efforts of a U.S. secret agency's attempts to sneak into Albania, so the agency goes to its super-computer (named M.O.T.H.A.) for guidance and is told the best means of breaking in is by recruiting a 4 man rock band, call it The Phynx, and make it so famous that the General will allow the band in to add to the celebrity load. Then the band/spy team is supposed to break those celebrities out. That's the gist of it, but there is so much more nonsense going on within this flimsy plot, yet not worth repeating since it is mostly idiotic. This film has the feel of a late 60's TV variety show skit gone horribly wrong and long. It's a lead-footed attempt at frantic satire along the lines of The Monkees, but it has almost no laughs. The four actors playing the band members are unmemorable and, indeed, remain unknown to this day. And the celebrity cast, impressive in sheer volume, gets little to do. Richard Pryor has a small bit as a cook; Dick Clark plays himself in another short bit; Clint Walker has a tiny part as a Drill Sergeant; Harold "Oddjob" Sakata does his Goldfinger bit; Ed Sullivan does one intro; Fritz Feld does his mouth-popping waiter bit; Patsy Kelly serves a donut; Colonel Sanders serves chicken (yep, they even dragged him into this fiasco); and Huntz Hall delivers one line---but it IS the key line that helps get the celebrities out of Albania. Only Martha Raye, as a doomed double-agent, shows any spark in her very short scene. In the big finale we are given an awards-show-like display of old Hollywood with the famous fossils striding into the Albanian Presidential Palace in twos and threes, announced with fanfare. Then they are seated and forced to listen to the pathetic rock n' roll banalities of the The Phynx band. A lamentable thing to behold---all those fossils trying to act entertained by such juvenile electric guitar-laden ramblings when you know they want to hear Benny Goodman, or hell, even Liberace. And the songs by famed tunesmiths Leiber and Stoller are junk, although they at least didn't attempt any psychedelic rock. Well, all I can say is that having all those celebs in one room must have led to one hell of a fun lunch for them.... but the film is no fun for any viewer. And Warner Bros. barely released it back in 1969, for good reason, and it has since vanished without a trace, also for good reason.

Hoo boy -- the only thing worse than a bad comedy is a bad comedy from the Vietnam era, especially one that was clearly made by old people who distrusted and feared the youth movement.

So on the shelf with "Skidoo" and "Smashing Time," try and stock a copy of "The Phynx," a ridiculous spy spoof featuring some very forgettable Leiber/Stoller songs (the band-in-the-movie's big hit is "What Is Your Sign?") and a whole lot of over-the-hill Hollywood notables (and Colonel Sanders!).

This movie is pretty hard to find, and it's probably just as well -- the only thing interesting about it is how obscure it is.

Hollywood tried so hard to assimilate the new hippie movement in their TV shows and movies and usually got it way wrong. so many films failed to do the "mix", SKIDOO, I LOVE YOU ALICE B. TOKLAS, etc.

The Phynx boasts a huge cast of Hollywood idols and can actually stand alone on that basis! Old stars, solo, or with their partners, are "relocated" to a huge estate, held hostage by the supposed "new" generation of entertainer...and indeed, when James Brown and 1969-70 entourage arrive, as ambassadors of the new music industry, we are impressed.

Songwriters Leiber and Stoller wrote the songs for this bizarre experiment and none are any good. That's why James Brown should have done a song or two from his own catalogue. OK, OK...................

Getting' back to those "old" stars: there are many here which justify the proverbial price of admission. I bought the DVD for the 1970 version of Gorcey and Hall. No laffs. But a gas to behold, so many years later!