The Last Rebel

If you thought movies could not get worse than Solar Crisis or any other film abandoned to the name of Alan Smithee, this will give you hope in the F movie genre, no Ed O'Ross or Wings House here.

The editing is non-existent, there are no transitions between scenes, the music is constantly morphing from fusion jazz, classic country, pre-techno/industrial and back again. The actors seem lost, Jack Elam had one of the ugliest mugs in cinematic history, Joe 'Wooly' Namath hopefully has forgotten this monstrosity of a spaghetti western.

This film is pure concentrated evil that should have been left buried in its infernal tomb, but nevertheless Encore/Starz felt it was necessary to force suffering on their ad-hoc loyal viewers.

You will be in shock and awe that such a heap could ever have been made, i cant spoil the plot because there was none discernible in the mess of the Last Rebel.

I came across this movie this morning. I was going to change the channel, but I saw the hair, I saw the back. It was Joe Namath! He was, and still is, as gorgeous as could be. I had a huge crush on him when I was a kid; I turned 35 last Thursday. Who doesn't remember his coming to see Bobby on "The Brady Bunch"? The movie, however? Wanted to send a lot of messages, but failed at all of them. It wanted to prove you could find true love, it wanted to let you know it's horrible to hate, it wanted to rescue little boys and even the soul of someone who doesn't seem too bright. No offense to Joe, because he's a pretty good actor, but who could do anything with that script? The soft-porn scenes with the two Mexican actresses was just stupid. And the scene he had with Pearl, who says (something like), "You Rebel." where he just smiles like it's a Pearl Drops commercial...very sad. The best line in the whole movie, and the one where Joe shows some comic timing, is the stand-off in Pearl's when the guy gets shot in the arm. He has his hands raised, and then says, "I can't hold them up much longer, you know?" Joe just looks at him like he's an idiot and says, "Put 'em down." Clint Eastwood would have paid money for that line. Good man, bad movie.

This movie is #1 on my all time worst movie list. Besides the fact that it has no plot, and that Joe Nameth is a mediocre actor at best; it is a western set to "modern" 1970's music. Very strange. No wonder it was listed as "To Be Announced" in the paper. My mom and I first saw this in the mid-1970's and even back then, we joked that the name of the film should be "Joe Nameth Goes to Mexico to Get Laid". That is basically the entire plot. Joe was a great football player and some people thought he was handsome, but that does not necessarily mean the man can act. Do yourself a favor and skip this movie, unless you are curious just to see how bad a movie can be.

Yes, I've seen worse films but this was so bad they had trouble keeping horses during the shooting; the critters would all run off at night. To say Joe Willie's talents lay elsewhere would be the understatement of the decade. His dismal performance wasn't all that noticeable, however, because everybody else stunk like a week old corpse in a broken icebox during a Texas heat wave. Even Elam, one of my all time faves, couldn't keep a straight face in many of his scenes. There was so much ham in this turkey that if Jimmy Dean bought it he would have to open up a new building to process all the pork. Seldom have I seen a greater collection of grinning jackasses than were displayed in this thinly plotted venture. The soundtrack was interesting but all that rock music never quite dovetailed with the action on the screen.

This western is from the deep seventies, the depressing period. But it doesn't correspond with what I first expected. It is of course an obscure film, not widely known, and destined to seventies exploitation flicks. I love this period because there was much freedom, on the other hand, you could find anything, because the writers were totally "on the loose". That made the specificity of thie era. This western, despite Jack Elam and Woody Strode's presence is rather lame, boring. The ending is not awful but just forgettable and not in the way I wanted it to be for a seventies western. However, it's not a piece of crap. Just forgettable stuff.