L'étalon italien

This film was a riot drawing unintended laughs and smiles right from the start, for a while. The scenes of obvious simulated sex, naked rolling bodies, ridiculous moaning, etc. Then there were the boring parts. Many poorly done scenes could have been overlooked if they were short but when they were extended to four or five minutes, it becomes monotonous. The five minutes to rinse and dry the bloodied hand would be a case in point. Stallone's extended muscle posing, the rolling around naked, the fun house mirror, the phony, fierce beating, the orgy (so erotic that the men never had an erection,) all quickly became boring. Of course, if they had been cut, the film would be less than an hour. Everything from story to photography was subpar or ridiculous. And the pubic hair! Natural is nice but three of the women could have won a prize for the darkest, fullest, most extensive pubic hair. If they shaved, they could sell it as a complete merkin (pubic wig.) The film rates about a 2 but the humor and Sly's presence raise it to a 4.

I heard this was a 'porn' starring Sly Stallone. This stuff is certainly not X-rated, it could probably pass with an R today. No real plot, lots of nudity, but this definitely isn't porn. It's just a bunch of naked bodies rolling around in bed, on the floor, getting high, some spanking, some dancing, all set to a very cheezy disco soundtrack. I cannot even believe how awfully terrible, ridiculous and cheap this movie is. No reason to watch it, unless you just want to see Sly nude and limp. Reportedly, the director tried to blackmail Stallone with this movie for $100,000, and Sly said he wouldn't give them $2. He was right, because it would have been so not worth it, as this film is one of the most uninteresting films ever made.

ITALIAN STALLION, the video title, is one of the strangest adult films I've ever seen. I don't know if the version I saw was cut (the box said "Hard R Cable Version"), but overall, pretty unerotic.

Sylvester Stallone (the only real reason why anyone would watch this) turns in a pre-fame role as Stud, an Italian muscleman who has sex with his girlfriend Kitty and has a party at his house where lesbianism, anal sex, and orgies abound. Sly is looking pretty good here, better than he would in later years, and anyone looking for him in full nudity should be pleased here. Otherwise, there isn't much else to recommend. The only other male cast member is an unattractive no-name and none of the women are particularly memorable. There's a black stripper, a lesbian scene (overlong and boring), the 2nd man and his girlfriend have anal sex, and finally, the orgy that lasts FOREVER! This orgy scene only picks up when the camera is on Sly; otherwise, is not very erotic. Other unbelievable scenes: Sly flexes his muscles in a mirror while watching a lesbian scene, a woman flashes Sly in the park, Sly rapes Kitty after she slaps him, and the film ends with Sly slapping Kitty.

Under 60 minutes long, very cheaply done, and not very stimulating outside of Sly's scenes, ITALIAN STALLION is only recommended for those seeking out celebrity porn and no one else.

Kitty and Stud's would be at least bearable if it was not so sloppily produced. You can pinpoint the exact moment where it all starts to crumble (when KItty seductively licks the blood of from Stud's hand)...The choppy, dubbed dialogue, and it's lack of solid plot (even for a porno!) kind of ruin it..The soundtrack is stellar though! The fact that Sylvester Stallone stars is literally the only reason this movie would even touch eyes beyond the editing room.

All right, this is an historical curiosity because it's Sylvester Stallone's first film. Aside from that, it's a Z-grade porn film celebrating misogyny, drug abuse and, of course, promiscuity. If one had to categorize the "plot", it's a character study of Kitty and Stud's relationship to each other. The director tries to elevate the film to art-house level by inserting overlong montages of Stallone's treks through Manhattan and flashes of a very warm-blooded woman wearing boots, a fur coat and a smile in a snow-covered city park. We watched most of the film on scan...and yes, there are multiple shots of Stallone's genitalia, which have proven to be the only lasting allure this film can boast.