Bloodthirsty Butchers

Inspired by the classic urban legend of Sweeney Todd, a murderous barber who kills his customers and has them baked into pies by his business partner, Bloodthirsty Butchers keeps the basic foundation and makes up the rest with less than ideal results.

Of course, it looks even cheaper than an elementary school play, but that could be forgiven if the script was tight and the acting was better. Unfortunately, it's not and the most you have to look forward to are a few gory murder scenes that don't much convince.

Bloodthirsty Butcher (1970) is a UK film 🇬🇧 that I recently watched on a free trial of Full Moon on Prime. The storyline revolves around the infamous barber, Sweeney Todd, who kills his victims, serves their meat in pies, and makes a killing in London. But can anyone stop his reign of terror?

Directed by Andy Milligan (Carnage), the film stars John Miranda (Innerspace), Annabella Wood (The House That Vanished), Berwick Kaler (A Knight's Tale), and Jane Hilary (Summer Wishes, Winter Dreams).

This is another low-budget film, and it certainly feels like it. The movie starts off with a promising introduction to Sweeney Todd, including an entertaining kill, but it quickly falls apart once the acting and dialogue come into play. Todd's character is more annoying and awkward than creepy or cunning, which diminishes the impact of the story. His attempts at womanizing feel forced and unconvincing. The long sex scenes are oddly paired with a Disney-like soundtrack that clashes with the content, further detracting from the film. Unfortunately, there isn't much positive to say about this film, aside from its cool poster.

In conclusion, Bloodthirsty Butcher is a rare take on the Sweeney Todd tale that I would recommend skipping. I'd score it a 3.5-4/10.

BLOODTHIRSTY BUTCHERS is Director Andy Milligan's dubious take on SWEENEY TODD. As such, it contains all of the Milligan mainstays: sub-trash, thrift store costumes, beyond rubbish dialogue, "actors" who appear dazed by their surroundings, not-so special effects, etc.

John Miranda plays the barbarous barber, and Jane Hillary is his ghoulish, piemaking accomplice, Maggie Lovett. In all fairness, the two principals don't do a bad job of wading through this swill. Alas, Milligan's signature lack of production values leaves them adrift, while the other characters leave no impression at all.

As with the vast majority of the Director's epics, the main problem lies in just how bloody boring it all is! One vacuous vignette after another shuffles across the screen, interrupted only occasionally by some rib-tickling violence.

Milligan movies are a true test of one's constitution. This one is no exception! Most viewers will wilt almost immediately, while even the initiated will fight to pay attention or to stay awake. This is incredibly difficult, even if your eyelids are stapled to your forehead, and you've placed a hot coal in each shoe!

EXTRA POINTS FOR: #1- The "love scene" that's almost as erotic as watching pumpkins bob against each other in a barrel! #2- For anyone who can discern the breed of dog that makes the humanoid whining sound that's found in this film!...

The word "boring" gets thrown around way too often when referring to exactly how bad a low-budget Horror movie might, or might not be. I've seen many a B-movie. Many horrible, terribly inept B-movies. Some with a production value of a few hundred bucks. Does ineptness, lousy acting, worse continuity, and embarrassing budgets really make a movie unwatchable? Some would no doubt way yes. Most of which are probably huge fans of The Matrix. Well, I hate big-budget movies, so I say no. Bad can sometimes be funny (Blood Freak), sometimes even mind-blowing (Troll 2), but Boring will always be unwatchable... Hey, kinda like Bloodthirsty Butchers, which reminds me, I'm writing a review for this pile of garbage... Uh, yeah, anyway. This is one of late British director Andy Milligan's many alternatives to sleeping pills. This one is based on Sweeney Todd... Great. Milligan takes a boring story, and still manages to "butcher" it. Hey, that's pretty funny, I said bu... sorry, I keep getting distracted. This isn't exactly easy. On second thought, I'll make it easy. No gore, no scares, no entertainment, just unlikeable, annoying people having incoherent conversations. that's Bloodthirsty Butchers. Oh yeah, and something about a barber killing people, and something or other about meat pies. I don't know, it's not important.

For something a little more rewarding from Andy Milligan, there's always the only other one I've seen, The Rats Are Coming, The Werewolves Are Here. Yeah, you heard me. But hows about we forget about this Milligan guy all together, and pick up something sweet like Sick Girl or Teenape Goes To Camp. Whatever you decide, just know, Bloodthirsty Butchers sucks, possibly even more than any other version of this already lackluster tale. And that, B-movie fans, is really saying something. 2/10

Ooof! The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (John Miranda) lets you know his business right away as he cuts a man's throat in the first three minutes (he pulls a towel over the victim's face and the guy reacts as if he is being pulled back, despite his attacker letting go at one point). Sweeney pockets the valuables and the rest goes into the meat pies of Mrs. Lovett (Jane Hilary). Things get complicated when good girl shop worker Johanna (Annabella Wood) wonders where her boyfriend disappeared to. Good God! Only Andy Milligan could drag down the exploitation material found in the Todd story. You know what the other adaptations of that Penny Dreadful were missing? How about looooong scenes of people talking and talking and talking. To be fair, there is about a minute of pretty good stuff in here, mostly coming from some meat cleaver attacks. Milligan recreates the 19th century about as well as I can waltz and I'm pretty sure one scene has a shot of a modern era heater in the back and light switches. Miranda's Sweeney looks like a cross between Abraham Lincoln and Bowzer from Sha Na Na, but he is, surprisingly, a decent actor. The rest of the cast is there, local theater English accents and all. Look for "fortnight" to be said twice within the first ten minutes.