Bataille au-delà des étoiles

Before you can say, "Sock it to me!" a giant asteroid is on a collision course with Earth. Ivan Reiner, Kinji Fukasaku and the gang get western TV star Robert Horton (as Jack Rankin) to command a mission dealing with the problem. He clashes with future "Oscar" nominated site commander Richard Jaeckel (as Vince Elliott). These two "Gamma 3" rivals both dig luscious doctor Luciana Paluzzi (as Lisa Benson). They decide to land one of their groovy spaceships on the giant rock and lay down some explosives. The mission gets a little hairy, but winds up successful. But the team has inadvertently picked up "The Green Slime" - a bubbly mess that grows into energy eating beasts even "Mr. Clean" can't wipe up!

****** The Green Slime (12/19/68) Kinji Fukasaku ~ Robert Horton, Richard Jaeckel, Luciana Paluzzi, Ted Gunther

Robert Horton was on the downslide and poor Richard Jaeckel was stuck in one more film unworthy of his talents. Luciana Paluzzi....well, with neither talent nor anywhere to slide, I guess she belongs in this movie.

It's bright, loud and brassy and everything in the space station screams of the 1960's, including the theme song which has to be the most unusual ever tacked on to a sci-fi film. The color process they used (is it Technicolor?) is so unreal that the whole thing reminds me of a comic book. Watch "Danger,Diabolik" and you'll get that same feeling. Bile greens and mucous yellows.....ugh.

The story line is not much but the special effects, frankly, may be better than some of that period. This was made before fx came into their own, so be a little forgiving. The monsters are not very well conceived and they are soooo slow moving.

Just watch this one for the fun of it and try to forget how embarrassed the actors must have been mouthing those lines, wearing those outfits and running around in cardboard sets while being pursued (very slowly) by a bunch of green Jello. What a hoot!!

I remember as a kid sitting in an old run-down theater watching this movie on a Saturday afternoon and thinking "it doesn't get much better than this".

Rocket ships, laser gun battles with deadly aliens, risking your life for the "good of the planet".

Of course that was 1968 and this movie looks pretty unspectacular now compared to Star Wars etc. but it is a good example of the "space opera" of that period. A multi-national space station launches a ship toward an oncoming asteroid in the hope of preventing a collision with earth. Lives are risked but in the end disaster is averted and the asteroid is destroyed everyone is safe......but are they? What has been brought back to the station? Can it be stopped in time?

Good for those rainy afternoons with the kids, they may even enjoy it, you certainly will.

There isn't a single Japanese actor in this big-budget Japanese produced sci-fi drama, but the special effects are a dead give-away. A wandering astroid (code named `Flora') is on a collision course with Earth. Richard Jackel and Robert Horton lead a team which places atomic bombs on the astroid to blow it up. They succeed, but they unwittingly bring back an alien fungus to their wheel-shaped space station. The fungus grows into man-sized monsters which multiply rapidly and overrun the space station. Jackel and Horton are forced to set aside their romantic rivalry over Luciana Paluzzi (`Thunderball') while they battle the creatures. Blazing laser guns abound in a desperate battle with the unstoppable monsters! The astronauts even don spacesuits and jet-packs for a battle on the space station's hull. All this in glorious color AND wide screen. Wow!

Sure, this sounds great but . . . well, these guys didn't know what they were doing. Or did they?

`The Green Slime' looks more like a clever satire of sci-fi movies than an ineptly made film. The odds against all the side-splitting humor in this movie happening by accident must be astronomical. The potato-shaped monster suits are hysterical. The miniatures of the rockets are so tiny the camera can barely focus on them. The dialogue sounds like perfect parodies of sci-fi's most treasured clichés. (Example: The doctor rushes up to soldiers as their about to attack a slim monster. `Stop, don't kill it!' he pleads. `This is a magnificent discovery, and we must do everything possible to SAVE it!' -- and he says it in a perfect imitation of Richard Nixon.)

When the heroes' rocket tries to outrun an atomic blast, Robert Horton orders the pilot to increase thrust. But the G-forces are already so strong, the pilot can't lift his hand to reach the throttle. Macho Robert jumps up, walks to the pilot's chair, and pushes the throttle himself!

`The Green Slime' is so full of scenes like this that it should be re-released as `National Lampoon's Space Adventure'. And just wait until you hear the Jimmy Hendrix sound-alike title theme, a psychedelic rock tune. Its was even released on 45 rpm! (That's kinda like a CD, for those of you too young to remember.)

Rent the movie, call your friends, and mix up a batch of lime Jello as a snack. This is MST3K squared.

You have to love a sci-fi movie that:

1) Is a Japanese-produced product featuring a mostly-Anglo cast (saves on dubbing cost).

2) Has equivalent special effects of any given "Godzilla" movie.

3) Has Italian bombshells named "Sheila Benson".

4) Gives you slime creatures that look like Sigmund the Sea Monster.

5) Has a mad doctor (isn't that a pre-requisite for these movies? Thought so.).

6) Has one of the all-time coolest title songs I have ever heard in my entire natural life.

If you watch "The Green Slime", just think: if Jaeckel had brought the rest of his "Dirty Dozen" cronies along with him, the Green Slime would never have stood a chance.

Oh well....

Seven stars. By the way, does anyone know where to get this movie's soundtrack? I have GOT to get that song....