The Beatniks

I watched this movie because of my interest in voice actor Paul Frees, who wrote and directed "The Beatniks." He also wrote the lyrics to all the songs in the picture, with music by Eddie Brandt (who had worked with Spike Jones). In the Frees biography, his ex-wife (who stars in it) warns readers NOT to bother watching it because it's AWFUL. She claims that Frees knew nothing about directing, and that the photography and sound were also terrible. And she was right: this movie is a stinker, loaded with clichés about teenage troublemakers and also the entertainment industry of the 50s. It never really getting off the ground, leaving in the "deep Frees."

First, a caveat: There are no actual beatniks in this film. Nary a beret or black turtleneck or bongo to be seen. As for the movie itself, to steal a line from Roger Ebert, "The Beatniks" is transcendently bad. It soars above ordinary badness as the eagle soars above the mosquito.

The plot is a common one of the era: kid from the wrong side of the tracks is spotted by a talent agent, but alas, his crazy friends ruin it all for him. To call the characters two-dimensional is an insult to planar surfaces. To call the plot threadbare is an insult to rags. To call ... Oh, never mind. You get the idea.

The entire production screams, "high school drama club project," though the actors playing the teens are a bit long in the tooth for the youth set, dig it? MST3000 had great fun with it, though, and thus it's worth a watch.

You take your chances with the Digiview flicks at the Wal-Mart Dollar DVD kiosk. Every once in a while you find a small gem. Paul Frees' The Beatniks is not one of them.

This is a grade Z, bottom-of-the-drive-in-bill waste of celluloid that deservedly got a MST3000 treatment. How does stuff like this get made? You could call the distributor, but most everyone involved in The Beatniks is probably dead and Digiview just scoops up cinematic flotsam and jetsam and puts in cheap disks for your viewing amazement. The trouble is it's simply so bad, so utterly inept that no one dare get mad at it.

All one can do is--if one is so inclined to sit still for 70+ minutes--watch in slack-jawed amazement at cinematic awfulness.

C'mon . . . it's only a buck!

One of the very worst of the "troubled teenager" genre so popular in the late '50s/early '60s. Tony Travis as Eddie Crane is a dull hero who seems to be wandering aimlessly through life (and this movie), his girlfriend is about as interesting as dishwater, and his beatnik friends, especially Peter Breck as the horribly over-the-top Moon, give new meaning to the word "stereotype". However, I urge everyone to see the Mystery Science Theater 3000 version of The Beatniks - it's hilarious.

That is one song that never fails to crack me up.

Beatniks anyone? See any? There are none to be found here. Tony Travis plays Eddy Crane; rebel and small-time hood, but also sings like a pansy femme?? This definitely ruins any credibility since you really can't straddle the fence. Either tell Iris to shut up, or sing "With a Look"; you can't do BOTH! That audition scene is hilarious getting to see hardcore, tough Eddy crooning sentimentality. HA HA HA HA!!!

Who else shamed themselves? Peter Breck as Mooney. Ham anyone? He takes the manic psycho character to probably the only entertainment in this flop. It's tough to be scared of someone who threatens you with "I'm gonna MOON you!!". His soliloquy regarding the barkeep is also priceless scene followed by on odd whiny fit. Then there's annoying broad Iris who's dancing can scar even those unprepared for random corkscrew gyrations. Mr. Morrissey taught me that to succeed as a talent agent, get in an auto accident, call for a tow, and listen to the guy near the jukebox!! Then there's a dive called Charlie's run by a guy named Gus(?).

Despite this corny premise, maybe the makers of Beatniks were trying to make a statement about life; it's not all wavy gravy and the man always square forcing the minds of our best generation to conform to antiquated norms while suppressing self expression. Rail against the establishment!! Whoops, slipped into Beatnik mode there. Well, someone had to because this film sure doesn't!!

"I KILLED THAT FAT BARKEEP!"

It's true...it's not what you say, but how you say it.