Girls Town

Although the cast may have been assembled from somebody's nightmare, it's still one of the great ensemble casts in film history.

Mamie Van Doren's name heading ANY cast means a good time will be had by all -- well maybe not ALL, but at least by those discerning cineastes who knew after the 1960 Academy Awards were handed out that 1959's "Girls Town" was robbed by "Ben-Hur." After all, what's a silly chariot race compared to Mamie chewing gum and talking back to nuns? And in "Girls Town" you get so much more: Gloria Talbott, Elinor "Princess" Donahue, Gigi Perreau, Paul Anka, Maggie Hayes, Sheilah Graham, The Platters, Cathy Crosby, Ray Anthony, Charles Chaplin Jr., Harold Lloyd Jr., and so help us, Mel Torme . . . Mel Torme!!!??? Oh yeah, you also get this plot, which has something or other to do with 30-year-old high school kids (like Mamie) getting in trouble with the law and getting sent to the title institution. There's also a nifty drag race -- in a cement riverbed! This film showed up 20 years after "Gone With the Wind" and features just as much excitement and talent. It helps if you've had a lobotomy prior to viewing the film.

How do you get so much talent together and have something so awful? Just look at the cast...Mel Torme, the "Velvet Fog" in leather and corduroy...Paul Anka and two sons of the greatest comedians ever...how could they go so wrong here? The paper thin plot is hoked up with a lot of the not-so-great 50s songs, a bad driving scene that is supposed to hold us breathless, and a lot of views of the L.A. River. Is it any wonder that Arch Hall Jr. thought he had a future in the business after seeing stuff like this cranked out by a MAJOR STUDIO?

Already on probation for a series of petty crimes, Silver Morgan (Mamie Van Doren) is facing time in juvenile detention after being accused by a witness of pushing her boyfriend off a cliff. Fortunately for Silver, Mother Veronica offers to take her in at Girls Town - a Catholic home for troubled young women. Silver doesn't want to fit in and has trouble with the other girls from the moment she arrives. But when her kid sister gets into trouble, it's these very same people she turns to for help. Can Girls Town save Silver - and her sister?

If Silver Morgan is 16 years old, then I'm a teenager myself. My goodness but Mamie sure could fill-up an outfit! Curves galore! And what kind of name is "Silver"? Sounds like a stripper name to me! But even though this is low-budget 50s-style exploitation, Mamie gives a surprisingly decent performance. It's not award worthy or anything, but I enjoyed it.

Beyond Mamie, another "highlight" of the movie has to be the fight scene between those two imposing specimens of masculinity, Paul Anka and Mel Torme. That's right - Paul Anka and Mel Torme in a fight! It's one of the absolute funniest things I've seen in a long time. I mean Mamie's bra is tougher than these two. Still, it's a moment that made the movie for me.

Realistically, Girls Town isn't anywhere near as good as my rating would indicate. But as I've said before, my ratings are based on the entertainment value I find in movies regardless of a lot of other factors. If I watch a movie and enjoy it and have fun with it, it gets a good rating. And unlike a lot of other reviewers, I had a blast with Girls Town.

I watched the Mystery Science Theater 3000 version of Girls Town and loved it. The riffs were dead-on and hysterical. I've got no problems rating episode #601 a 4/5 on my MST3K rating scale. This is one any fan of the show should seek out.

Paul Anka wrote the Tonight Show Theme and the English lyrics to My Way and The Longest Day Theme and he wrote a song for Buddy Holly that probably described his agent's thoughts about this movie. The song was "Guess it doesn't matter anymore." Mel Torme on a Summer's day needed a buck or two and he wrote a Christmas song that might be the all time number one unit sales Christmas song. It is called The Christmas Song. The song writers act well enough but the script is funny where it is supposed to be serious. Cat fights look a bit staged. We learn here that everyone leaves their keys in their cars. You should not grab the steering wheel when you are about to crash into a concrete support. Paul Anka has the best smile. Mamie was a beauty for sure. She is not given a lot to do in this movie except chew gum and look tough. The Platters song was written by Buck Ram who wrote the big Platters hits like Great Pretender and Only You. The song for this movie is not one of The Platters greats. This is a great, very great movie for Bad Movie Night. Wonderful old cars and telephones and hair styles. Don't miss it. Maybe it could be a double bill with High School Confidential.

Admittedly, I watched the MST3K version of this, but it's not actually too bad outright, at least compared to others which deserve my cinematic hatred.

The story centers around a troubled girl wrongly sent to a "reform school" called Girls' Town. Along way, races, redemption, and wackiness (unintentional) happen. The story and acting are a little flat, as is the action. However, the entire thing is actually entertaining to a degree if you are absolutely bored.

Overall, just a simple sub par 50's flick, but far from the worst movie ever made, with some bright spots in the movie (The Ave Maria sequence was good for me).

If you get a chance to watch the MST3K version, you won't be disappointed. By it self, not so much, but I can think of worse methods of torture ("Spiker" anyone?).