Girls Town

How do you get so much talent together and have something so awful? Just look at the cast...Mel Torme, the "Velvet Fog" in leather and corduroy...Paul Anka and two sons of the greatest comedians ever...how could they go so wrong here? The paper thin plot is hoked up with a lot of the not-so-great 50s songs, a bad driving scene that is supposed to hold us breathless, and a lot of views of the L.A. River. Is it any wonder that Arch Hall Jr. thought he had a future in the business after seeing stuff like this cranked out by a MAJOR STUDIO?

This movie is a great trash fest. Sometimes there is nothing better than when Hollywood of the 50s and 60s attempts to have teens portrayed by aging icons. This one goes straight thru the stratosphere when they make Mel "the velvet fog"Torme a gang leader of sorts. Mamie van Doren is way sexy. I'm surprised she didn't make the ranks of a major sex symbol. I've always found her to be hotter than Jayne Mansfield. If you don't believe me, check out High School Confidential; teenage boys would kill for an aunt this sexy. It's great fun no matter what, but even though MST3K cut out some scenes for their version, their great snotty comments are priceless. Get a hold of it, if you can!

Paul Anka wrote the Tonight Show Theme and the English lyrics to My Way and The Longest Day Theme and he wrote a song for Buddy Holly that probably described his agent's thoughts about this movie. The song was "Guess it doesn't matter anymore." Mel Torme on a Summer's day needed a buck or two and he wrote a Christmas song that might be the all time number one unit sales Christmas song. It is called The Christmas Song. The song writers act well enough but the script is funny where it is supposed to be serious. Cat fights look a bit staged. We learn here that everyone leaves their keys in their cars. You should not grab the steering wheel when you are about to crash into a concrete support. Paul Anka has the best smile. Mamie was a beauty for sure. She is not given a lot to do in this movie except chew gum and look tough. The Platters song was written by Buck Ram who wrote the big Platters hits like Great Pretender and Only You. The song for this movie is not one of The Platters greats. This is a great, very great movie for Bad Movie Night. Wonderful old cars and telephones and hair styles. Don't miss it. Maybe it could be a double bill with High School Confidential.

Already on probation for a series of petty crimes, Silver Morgan (Mamie Van Doren) is facing time in juvenile detention after being accused by a witness of pushing her boyfriend off a cliff. Fortunately for Silver, Mother Veronica offers to take her in at Girls Town - a Catholic home for troubled young women. Silver doesn't want to fit in and has trouble with the other girls from the moment she arrives. But when her kid sister gets into trouble, it's these very same people she turns to for help. Can Girls Town save Silver - and her sister?

If Silver Morgan is 16 years old, then I'm a teenager myself. My goodness but Mamie sure could fill-up an outfit! Curves galore! And what kind of name is "Silver"? Sounds like a stripper name to me! But even though this is low-budget 50s-style exploitation, Mamie gives a surprisingly decent performance. It's not award worthy or anything, but I enjoyed it.

Beyond Mamie, another "highlight" of the movie has to be the fight scene between those two imposing specimens of masculinity, Paul Anka and Mel Torme. That's right - Paul Anka and Mel Torme in a fight! It's one of the absolute funniest things I've seen in a long time. I mean Mamie's bra is tougher than these two. Still, it's a moment that made the movie for me.

Realistically, Girls Town isn't anywhere near as good as my rating would indicate. But as I've said before, my ratings are based on the entertainment value I find in movies regardless of a lot of other factors. If I watch a movie and enjoy it and have fun with it, it gets a good rating. And unlike a lot of other reviewers, I had a blast with Girls Town.

I watched the Mystery Science Theater 3000 version of Girls Town and loved it. The riffs were dead-on and hysterical. I've got no problems rating episode #601 a 4/5 on my MST3K rating scale. This is one any fan of the show should seek out.

Movies from "Mystery Science Theater 3000" made at this time are so amazingly dated. They even talk about how obnoxious the slang is. This film features a woman falsely accused of murder going to a Catholic reform school. I guess I'll give the movie credit for having a concept that I have never seen before. Its main flaw is that it's still too boring! All cheesy 1950's movies are looking the same. The pacing is really bad. It isn't until the last ten minutes that something really important happens.

There are just so many pointless scenes. We have nothing going on with the girls just talking and cleaning the house and everything. I don't know if this is how actual reform schools like this work. Well, it gave a somewhat positive image of religion. I don't think that people pray through Saint Jude to God. Well, maybe that was just how they did it back then. Well, I finally got done writing eight reviews on this website in one day! I am never doing this again. *1/2