La table du capitaine

Hearing a drunken sailor (I think it was the captain himself)in this 61 year old delightful film, singing that nine word song to the tune of Onward Christian Soldiers, over and over again, for the first time in at least seventy years today, immediately caused me to increase my rating by two points, from 7 to 9. I know I'll be singing it again repeatedly for weeks and months and maybe even years to come!

This film was not designed to deliver "belly laughs" but gentle humour and it does this very well. Populated by genuinely beautiful ladies and not the plastic Barbie Frankenstein Doll horrors common in 2020. Add the bonus of glorious colour and it's a very pleasant way of passing time.

Silly comedy based on author Richard Gordon's first book. Gordon is best known as the creator of the 'Doctor' novels, some of which were successfully filmed for the big screen between 1954 and 1970, as well as spawning a seventies TV sitcom. 'The Captain's Table' is very much in the same style: a few near-the-knuckle gags, lots of pretty bikini-clad girls and a veritable host of old English stereotypes.

Naughty vicars, camp stewards, sexy popsies and batty old ladies abound, but despite a super cast of comedy legends like Donald Sinden, Richard Wattis, John LeMesurier and Miles Malleson, the movie lacks any real fizz and fails to be even half as funny as its 'Doctor' cousins. Lead actor John Gregson is no match for Dirk Bogarde or Leslie Phillips, but Carry On star Joan Sims enlivens the proceedings with a cute cameo as a frumpy spinster.

Worth a look, but don't expect too many hearty laughs.

This is the old fish-out-of-water plotline, in this case a tramp steamer captain is made temporary captain of a passenger liner after the regular captain becomes ill. The star, John Gregson had, a few years earlier, been in the sublime Genevieve, however this is nowhere near that level. It follows a fairly predictable path and is hardly innovative. Still, I found it fairly amusing, and a relatively painless way of spending an hour and a half. Looking at the DVD (incidentally, why is the DVD in 4:3 format when surely it would have been made in wide screen format) I was interested to note that it was produced by Joseph Janni , who in the sixties would go on to produce such films as A Kind of Loving, Billy Liar and Darling. Evidently, he had his finger on the pulse of evolving tastes.

I had high hopes for this film as it features a whole host of very able, experienced and talented supporting characters such as Richard Wattis, John le Mesurier, Reginald Beckwith, Bill Kerr, Donald Sinden, Joan Sims etc etc! Yet, it falls flat on its face and becomes a very long yawn! The major problem is mainly the dialogue, which isn't at all funny, and a storyline about a ex tramp steamer captain being given charge of a passenger liner ship, played by John Gregson, who because he is totally ill equipped to play the cheerful, 'chummy' and 'Mr Nice Guy' to an eclectic mix of passengers, finds himself in a constant state of embarrassment, discomfort and confusion. Gregson is no Rex Harrison, who might have carried off the role with some aplomb, instead Gregson struggles with the 'humorous scenes' where due to his lack of experience in the job, he commits a series of painful social gaffes which in itself becomes the entire humour thread of the film. Beckwith puts in a good performance as the captain's valet with Richard Wattis, always a joy to see, playing the suave and urbane ship's purser. Yet, despite a good supporting cast, the film from the point of humour, never moves out of second gear.