Jet Attack

I had wanted to see this movie for years, after reading about it in the notorious book "The Fifty Worst Films Of All Time" - it sounded like it was hilariously inept. It recently played on AMC, so I finally got to see it. Is it as hilariously inept as I imagined it to be? It certainly has its share of unintended laughs. There's a LOT of obvious stock footage, the funniest being when we see the neon nightlife of Tokyo - when the scene is taking place in Seoul, Korea! There's also a plane that crashes into flames at high speed, and there's a survivor. The wilderness doesn't look anything like Korea. There's comic relief that fails so badly it becomes funny, and there are other script-written ineptness like jet pilots recruited for a commando performance and scientific talk that makes no sense.

Clearly, the movie has its share of unintended laughs. But is it one of the worst movies of all time? Of course not. It's not inept enough. Much of the movie is mediocre tedium, not inspired enough for laughs or to be considered a movie that's so bad it's BAD. While I guess I'm glad I finally saw it (I'm trying to watch all 50 movies from that book), I don't think other viewers will find enough to entertain them, either intentionally or unintentionally.

Jet Attack (1958)

** (out of 4)

Ultra-cheap and ultra-stupid but mildly entertaining action pic from AIP has John Agar playing a hot shot pilot who crosses enemy lines to try and determine if an important scientist was killed a week earlier when his plane was shot down. Along with the help of two of his men, Korean rebels and a Russian spy (Audrey Totter) he must try and locate the scientist without getting caught. The Medved brothers included this film in their "Fifty Worst Films of All Time) book but of course we know that they hadn't seen everything they put in the book. This film is no where near the worst ever made but it might be among the dumbest out there. There isn't a single scene in this film that contains a bit of logic as one dumb thing after another happens. We're on this important mission yet Agar and Totter have time to build their relationship up. We're on this important mission yet the enemy never seems to realize that Totter is gone. One silly sequence after another happens but this badness makes the film rather lovable if you don't mind bad "B" movies. Director Cahn is best known for films like THE GIANT CLAW but this one here doesn't reach that level of entertainment. What this one does offer is a decent "B" cast doing silly things that will make you smile. Thankfully this just runs 69-minutes so there's no too much plot or dialogue that gets in the way of it being over. Agar gives the type of performance we'd expect from him and Totter is pretty bland of the love interest. George Walcott of PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE fame plays one of the soldiers here. Again, there are countless war/action pictures out there that are great and obviously this isn't one of them. Those wanting greatness should certainly look else where but those just wanting some cheap entertainment will get a few kicks out of this thing.

Here's yet another AIP quickie from the fast working hands of Edward L. Cahn. Someday I hope someone makes a film about him, or at least writes a book, because his prodigious output in 1958 and 1959 has never been outdone. Perhaps I'm not giving William Beaudine the credit he deserves...at any rate, this grade Z Korean war 'thriller' stars Audrey Totter as a Russian nurse in love with handsome John Agar. Ms. Totter was fine in her element---film noir---but as a Soviet double agent she just doesn't make the grade. Add in the California locations (complete with a Woody with a Soviet star painted on its side), the world's least convincing set of South Korean partisans (including what appear to be Polynesian dancing girls), and a preposterous finale involving stolen MiGs, and you have a turkey of Ed Woodian proportions.

During the Korean War, a US plane testing a new radar system is shot down by the North along with scientist inventor Dean Olmstead. With reports of Dean being taken prisoner, a rescue team led by pilot Capt. Tom Arnett is sent in. He had earlier been shot down and rescued by Soviet nurse Tanya Nikova working with Korean rebels.

The best scenes are the mismatched stock footage of fighter planes including one shocking crash. The story is non-sense. The rebels and the Russian nurse come from the imagination of clueless Hollywood producers and wishful American militarists. The story is little more than a joke. It's unrealistic in every way. There is some nice equipment on display in real life and in stock footage. If it could cut out every else, this wouldn't be half bad.

Although billed second and playing a blonde action girl in the thick of things who (SPOILER COMING:) dies nobly, former forties bad girl Audrey Totter by now looked far too grown-up for such shenanigans as a Russian medical aide in beret and boots batting for Uncle Sam in this Korean War potboiler teaming her with the leads of 'She Wore a Yellow Ribbon' and 'Plan Nine from Outer Space'.