L'Araignée

Bert I. Gordon's 1958 "Earth vs the Spider" was the director's seventh and last sci/fi effort of the decade, after which he branched out into teen fantasy ("The Boy and the Pirates," "The Magic Sword," "Village of the Giants"), straight horror ("Necromancy," "Burned at the Stake," "Satan's Princess"), and psychological dramas ("Tormented," "Picture Mommy Dead"). A giant spider had been a Universal regular with "Tarantula" and "The Incredible Shrinking Man," so the only surprise is that Gordon was bringing up the rear on this occasion. The search for a missing father reveals him to be the latest victim of a hungry eight legged monster living in a nearby cave (New Mexico's Carlsbad Caverns in fact, plus reliable Bronson Canyon), capturing its prey using a thick strand of silk spun across the highway. A bout of DDT seemingly renders it harmless, the local high school professor allowed to showcase the remains in the auditorium, only for the creature to come back to life during a rock 'n' roll jam. Nothing can stop its journey back to the cave, where natural elements must be used to destroy it once and for all. There are plugs for both "The Amazing Colossal Man" and "Attack of the Puppet People," and the picture succeeds better than most Gordon fare despite the absence of a reason for the spider's outsized existence. It's certainly not as good as either of Universal's classics, and the director would reuse the idea briefly for a scene in his 1965 teenage romp "Village of the Giants."

I remember many years ago on WUTV, originating from Buffalo, New York, a bunch of us would watch the Saturday afternoon "Creature Feature" and "Monster Movies" and laugh our heads off. How ludicrous they were.

Now this was back in the late 70's, early 80's when we were "grown up", so to speak. If we had see these movies when they came out originally in the theaters or drive ins, we probably would have been scared out of our wits.

Now this movie, Earth vs the Spider, a true creature feature, stuck in my mind over many of the other ones. The scene that I remembered for years afterwards and hoped like crazy that they would show the movie again, was the scene when the band starts playing that real hot music in the gym with the spider listening in. I just couldn't believe how anyone would want to be in the same room as the spider.

I was so happy when they showed the movie, I guess, maybe a half a year later. I was ready. I set up my tape recorder and waited patiently for that particular scene and when I got that music on tape, I got REALLY excited!!!!!!

That was the only thing that I had from that movie until about 3 months ago. I found a video store that had the movie!!!!! I couldn't wait to bring it home and play it in order to find out what was the rest of the movie all about.

Yes I did remember all about the spider itself and how it reeked havoc in a small town in the middle of nowhere. I remembered about the useless sheriff, Gene Roth, and his attitude towards the townsfolk and the kids (funny he plays a lot of those kind of parts). Plus I remembered the fellow who played Mr. Kingman, the "hero". He used to play Commander Corry in Space Patrol which was on television in the very early 50s.

The scene with the band in the gym with the spider and the drama class still was very powerful. I just couldn't get over how funny it was.

To me, that made the whole movie a joy to watch!!!!

For Saturday afternoon fun, where you don't have to think, rent this one!!! You won't be disappointed!!!!

When you sit down to watch a Bert I. Gordon picture, you know you're in for a bad movie.

And, knowing that you can have a real good time.

The story is about a giant spider that attacks a town. No more need be said about the plot. The acting is horrendous. It's awful inconsistent too, half the time the characters do really dumb things, and half the time (well part of the time) they are actually smart too. That's the bad news, here's the good news, it is fast paced and fun. While the movie came out the same year as "The Blob", and both movie feature "kids" (AKA teenagers) who first witness the monster, in "The Blob" nobody believes the teens until it's too late. Not in Earth vs. the Spider! At least some of the adults totally accept that there is a giant spider on the loose, right from the get go. And that's what you, the viewer have to do here to - there is no explanation for what caused the giant spider, or why there are no other giant spiders, it just is, and you have to accept it. It also features a great rock and roll number, effects that run the gamut from real cheesy to real impressive, the world's oldest teenager, "hep" 50s dialogue, a theremin soundtrack and "spider noises"!

At just 73 minutes, it never gets dull, it's up there with some of the best so-bad-it's-good movies ever made. So grab some friends and a 12 pack, and check out this - the original 1958 version of "Earth vs. the Spider"!

I remember the newspaper ads for this as a kid. They showed a hideous spider with the head of a skull, and the tagline: It must eat you to live! Talk about giving a kid nightmares. Never got to see it at the theater but got the videotape and, while not as good as Tarantula, it comes pretty close. Mr BIG (Gordon) always had a knack for getting decent character actors, and he has good ones here, except for the teenage male lead who is pretty lame. He also knew how to keep the story clean and simple, fast-paced and interesting, without much superfluous material to bog down the action. Usually his films were hard-pressed to get to 90 mins, no filler material in them. If you are able to forgive the effects limitations of the times and of the budget, you will enjoy this and not feel that you've wasted your time. And keep your eye out for JOE, the thirty year old high school student!

With the exception of a few A titles Sci-fi was mostly considered kids stuff especially in the 50's. The studios had such low expectations that even a gem like Forbidden Planet was used as a premium for cornflakes boxtops.

That being the case it was profitable to crank out as many as possible as cheap as possible with as much action as the budget would allow and that was the only criteria. It worked because kids hungry for any kind of monster and teens needing a good background for the drive-in flocked to these B pictures so much that you could expect one to open a couple of weeks or so.

It's not like anybody got suckered into these things as well.I don't know how many previews I saw at the drive-in or matinée even if the monster looked fake or stinky in the trailer I still wanted to go see it. For the most part I had a good time and I still love these B creature Features from the fifties. This one in particular is highly re-watchable.

Unfortunately I can't say much for their current counterparts it seems like the bad bug movies of today are mostly just bad and not fun like these were. Recently I watched Ice Spider,Lord Of The Spiders and Scorpius Giganticus on the sci-fi channel and they all blew so bad I could barely finish them.

The special effects here are bad but they're fun because they're bad plus they fit right in with the naiveté and unsophistication of the times and Bert I Gordon didn't skimp on them either. Once the monster showed up you got tons of bad special effects right up until the climax . Today we know so much more about effects and budgeting and story structure and science and credible actions that it seem a shame that so many sci-flicks are blatantly disregarding this without giving us the fun of old school. It's a lose lose situation.

Currently this is on DVD with War Of The Colossal Beast and I recommend it highly as a cheap disc worthy of a rainy night filled with cherry Cokes and Sloppy Joes