Teenage Monster

Teenage Monster (1958)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

Weird and sometimes funny sci-fi has a young boy struck by a UFO crash, which turns him into the title character several years later. This film has the reputation as being one of the worst movies ever made and I can agree with that to a point but the film does offer quite a few laughs for those who enjoy bad "B" movies. The look of the monster is actually pretty good, although he comes off looking more like the wolf man than anything else. The love that the protective mother (Anne Gwynne) shows her monster son gets a few laughs, which are always needed. The film is also interesting because it takes place during the 1880s so you've got the old west feel added to the horror and sci-fi elements. Gloria Castillo plays a woman hired by the mother to talk with the monster.

While this movies make very little sense, it's not really that bad.So a giant sparkler crashes into a man and his son.The man dies and his son becomes a giant werewolf with really bad teeth.If you are a fan of Howard Stern, you will quickly notice that the "monster" sounds like a cross between Gary The Retard and JD.If you are not a Stern fan, you probably won't understand a thing it says.But anyway, I was lead to believe this movie was sci-fi/horror/western and it's really none of those.It's a movie about relationships with no other genre elements.I will never understand why old movies with the word "teenager" in the title never actually have any teenagers in the movie.That aside, this movie isn't too bad.Give it a shot.

Hey - it's a 50's horror movie, what can we expect, kids?

This one is truly original in that it actually combines werewolves, meteors, and the Old West. However, the sci-fi aspect (meteors) is particularly tenuous - the 'meteor' appears to be a lit sparkler held close to the camera in soft focus. And the 'grown-up' Charles is just unbelievable, even if he is a werewolf - it's seven years later, but he looks at least 40. But if you can deal with 50'd Sci-Fi - you'll find this fun. Nice comment on manipulative women as well -actually a fairly coherent, if more than a bit far out - plot.

Surprise, surprise... "Teenage Monster" isn't all that bad a sci-fi movie. Sure, the teenage monster is laughable: he doesn't look scary at all (just hairy) and you're left wondering if Gil Perkins decided to play a monster with a speech impediment or if he's trying to speak normally and the make-up is making him mumble. Anyway, the result is pretty hilarious. (I meant to say "scary", but the only word I could think of was "hilarious".)

But "Teenage Monster" is pretty educational: did you know what happens when a meteor strikes a father and his son? Well, I didn't! Apparently such a meteor strike kills a grown man, but not a child. However, the child will grow up with an exceptional amount of facial hair. Okay, so the plot seems to be ludicrous to non-existing at first, but give it a few minutes (not too many, the movie is only just over 60 minutes long) and see how scriptwriter Ray Buffum (also the man who penned "Teen-Age Crime Wave", "Brain from Planet Arous" and "Island of Lost Women") adds a few interesting touches to the script: see how the monster's mother tries to hide her son from the villagers (it doesn't help that the sheriff is in love with her) and how the monster is abused by another character. This may not sound too spectacular (and indeed it isn't), but do remember that most 50s sci-fi films offered you a cheesy monster and a dull story: "Teenage Monster", directed by Jacques R. Marquette (famous for directing "Teenage Monster" and ... oh, that's it?), at least tries to offer the viewer a compelling story. Compelling it isn't, but at least it keeps you from being bored and waiting for the next scene with the unconvincing monster.

MORD39 RATING: ** of ****

This is not a classic by any means, and it shouldn't be expected to be one. The 1950's gave us simple, cheesy fun from more innocent times (which we could all use again).

TEENAGE MONSTER succeeds in providing us with all the things we love in these half-baked films: A laughable monster, former Universal Forties film star Anne Gwynne looking embarassed just having to BE in it, and a scant running time of just over 60 minutes that breezes by with good, clean fun. I'll watch this over a a true modern piece of manure (like 1999's THE MUMMY) any day.