L'Incroyable créature de l'espace

WARNING: "The Astounding She-Monster" is a movie for people with highly specialized tastes. It tells the story of a trio of kidnappers, their socialite victim, the geologist whose house they invade, AND a blond, radium-emitting alien in tight spandex who crash-lands her spacecraft near that same house. Potential viewers of this film must possess the following traits: They must love movies that are made on the supercheap, and that contain no outdoor synch dialogue; movies in which egregious day-for-night photography is used, worse than anything in "Plan 9," and in which non sequitur music that bears little relation to the story is standard. These viewers should also be OK with inept direction; the insertion of long, meaningless shots; offscreen narration that sounds as if it's being read by a hypnotized dodo; Grade Z acting by a six-person cast (well, maybe Robert Clarke gives a Grade D performance); and "special" effects that look as though they were filmed through a Vaseline-smeared camera lens. It also wouldn't hurt if potential viewers didn't mind scratchy-looking prints on their DVD, with abysmal sound that keeps dropping out, and with hardly an "extra" to be found. If the above seems to match your highly specialized tastes, then "The Astounding She-Monster" might be just the flick for you. Only don't say I didn't warn you!

Others have commented upon the similarities between this and an Ed Wood film. I submit to you that these are more than mere similarities...

First of all, the box copy on the DVD from Image states: "Producer-Director Ronnie Ashcroft's first feature film venture guided by his friend and mentor Edward D. Wood Jr., whose "uncredited" help gives this film that unmistakable "scent" of Wood." Quote by Wade Williams. The box also states: "Consultant: Edward D. Wood Jr. (uncredited)."

Just what exactly are we trying to say here, Mr. Williams? Just come out with it! Could it have anything to do with the fact that Ed Wood stock player Kenne Duncan appears here? How about the film's writer, the alleged Frank Hall? He has no other credits at all on the IMDb. Could that be one Edward Wood under a pseudonym? Ed almost always put his own name on films he either directed or wrote, but he was known to use pseudonyms on many of the paperback novels he wrote in the 1960's and 70's.

I have not checked Ed's biography for any possible information on this film, but could it be that this film was actually written by the Anti-Master himself? And what does Wade Williams have to say on this theory? Clearly, the matter needs further investigation.

Anyway, this is a hilariously bad film. If Ed didn't write this film, it's right in his wheelhouse. Ridiculous dialog and lots of scenes with no dialog at all since they were shot with no sound. Lots of scenes that drag on (did I say drag? In a discussion about Ed Wood? That was a bad pun, I guess) and on and go nowhere. In other words: prime Badfilm.

Ed Wood fans, be aware. You may want to give this one a spin in the old machine. Normal people will not enjoy it though. If you are normal, stay away.

1957's "The Astounding She-Monster" was a micro budget independent picked up by AIP, shot in four to six days in December 1956 by first time director/producer Ronnie Ashcroft (after working on Roger Corman's "Day the World Ended"), the budget of $18,000 sadly apparent on screen, lots of pointless narration, interminable driving, and wandering the woods waiting for the director to yell 'cut.' The presence of Kenne Duncan from "Night of the Ghouls" indicates the probable involvement of maverick filmmaker Ed Wood, whose more lively antics are certainly more watchable than this gabfest. The most inept trio of kidnappers are forced off the road by the mysterious appearance of 'a naked dame' who literally glows in the dark (the original shooting title was in fact "Naked Invader"), a recently arrived alien visitor (Shirley Kilpatrick) whose radioactive touch means instant death for snakes, bears, dogs, and humans. Robert Clarke's geologist shelters the thugs and their wealthy socialite victim in his mountain cabin, worrying about phone calls, police bulletins, and the search for booze until our space babe makes a nuisance of herself. It's a pleasure to see the villains knocked off but it's still a slog sitting through a plot that cannot sustain feature length. We never see any sign of Shirley's spaceship and her one piece outfit isn't as sexy as the curvaceous poster that undoubtedly made it a hit, while her background as a popular pinup model offers another reason for the picture's endurance (the obese Shirley Stoler who starred in 1970's "The Honeymoon Killers" was a different actress though they do share a similarity in looks). Clarke was dismayed by the final results yet so astonished by its success (his investment yielded a tidy $3000) that he figured he could do better, directing his own vehicle a year later with "The Hideous Sun Demon"; unfortunately he chose a distributor that went belly up rather quickly, sinking all potential profits.

An absurd introductory narrative precedes THE ASTOUNDING SHE-MONSTER! Then, another narrator takes over, telling us what we're witnessing on screen. The abduction of a socialite, made so much better by voice-over rather than any real dialogue.

The scene shifts to the wilderness, where geologist, Dick Cutler (Robert Clarke) walks his dog, unaware that nearby, a ship has landed. From this craft comes the shimmering alien of the title. Not only does she shimmer, but she seems to warp, as though made of some ethereal liquid. Either that, or she's imbibed too much space juice. Who really knows for sure? She saunters... no, sachets along, like an alien in need of a restroom. Still shimmering.

Meanwhile, the kidnappers and their hostage arrive, all of this happening close to Cutler's remote cabin. Soon, all will meet together. What are the odds of such a confluence of various characters and events occurring? Perhaps the she-monster knows.

Uh oh!

The sachet-ing she-monster has the space voodoo, touch of death! She wanders... no, meanders through the forest, using her hands of deadliness! Who will survive this awfulness?

Fans of all that is movie muck, rejoice! This is your day of deliverance!

EXTRA CREDIT FOR: #1- The tough-talking crooks and their drunken moll. #2- The game of "in-and-out-of-the-cabin", where everyone leaves and re-enters several times, even after it appears they've escaped the horror!

This is highly entertaining flotsam...

This is one of those so horrible they are awesome horror/scifi movies from the late 50's. I remember watching this on the Friday night Horror movie "Dimension 16", 10:30 Friday nights based out of Joplin, Missouri-"Do you know where your children are....HA HA HA" (scary laughter) anyway, this movie as a child scared the pants off of me, the sight of the glowing She Monster from outer space lurking around in the woods was pretty heady stuff when you are 6 years old. I was able to get it when it came out on DVD and while as an adult I can see how thin the plot is, how bad the acting is and how low budget and the sets are, it still brought back wonderful memories of hiding under the blankets with my sister after watching the eerily sexy She Monster. I read somewhere that the female lead was actually a stripper and the reason you always see her backing away from the camera (no ass shots) is that the costume was so tight she split the rear end out and the budget was so low they couldn't or wouldn't repair the costume. Don't know if that's a true story but I hope it is as it makes this campy little classic even campier.