Monster a Go-Go

Ask many people what the worst film ever made is, and they will probably respond with either "Ishtar" or "Manos, The Hands of Fate". I, on the other hand, have seen those two and this one, and I have to tell you, this is the low point in my book. Several key points using "Manos" for comparison:

--Manos was in color. --Manos has better costumes. --Manos is at least unintentionally funny. --Manos has more of a surreal approach.

MONSTER, on the other hand, is a black and white sleeper of a film (and I mean sleeper in the sense that you will probably fall asleep waiting for something to happen). The badly paced dialogue cuts present in "Manos" are here, but sadly, they aren't interspersed with freaky costumes (not counting the odd go-go outfit) or for that matter, memorable dialogue. As an example of exactly how dull this film is, I showed it (admittedly, the Mystery Science Theater 3000 version) to some MST3K friends of mine who are avid collectors of bad/tacky cinema. OK, they had been drinking...a little. But regardless, they were both out in the first 20 minutes and did not wake up at all for the rest of the film. I don't think _I_ have ever sat through a viewing and remained awake.

Therefore, I would like to recommend this film as a fine sleep aid to anyone suffering from recurring insomnia. If you do decide to watch the film, and manage to remain awake to the conclusion, please refrain from damaging your video equipment if you find the ending...perplexing.

I saw this one on MST3K years ago, and I can still remember how bad it was. This movie has to be the 2nd worst movie of all time (trailing "Manos: The Hands Of Fate" for that title), and there's a great reason for that...

First off, the plot. It's atrocious. There isn't REMOTELY a monster whatsoever in this film. The acting, like other bad movies is also bad as well. This movie overall was bad, so bad that it should've been destroyed after it was done. Overall, a extremely, awful, botched waste of film, and precious time...

Only watch this on MST3K. They bashed it good on that show.

...but not much else goes together in this film. Very bad acting, you can often catch actors reading from cue cards. It's not really even directed, like the camera was just set up where it would fit, the actors would read their lines, "Cut and print." The story is an amazingly bad Twilight Zone episode dragged on to unbearable lengths, and the surprise ending is by far one of the worst plot-twists ever. The monster itself is a tall guy with bad acne, who just sort of meanders around throughout the duration of the movie. All in all, very hard to watch, even with Joel & the 'bots. Watch for the man doing his own sound effects! "Brrrrrrr!"

I'd be hard-pressed to find a more painful film. Nausea-inducing camera twists, seemingly random editing (try and find a scene that has anything to do with the one that preceded it), bad lighting, bad acting, nonexistent writing and a lack of *anything* that makes a good, or coherent film. Add to all that one of the lamest twist endings in cinema history, with out any sort of plot to justify it, and you have one infuriating film. It was so difficult to sit through, I was almost in tears by the end. One of those films you can't enjoy on any level, even as camp.

ooh...ow, stingy!! that's pretty much sums up the viewing of this Rebane crapsterpiece.

The first time I saw this, I was stunned. Kind of like when you take a test in school and you have no idea how to read Sumerian. The grainy black and white does not make it noir or surreal; it just looks crappy in addition to not being in color. Can you remember one person's name in this film? The only one I can remember is Frank Douglas after the shocking (not in a good way) climax to the movie and that you the viewer were not 800 miles away from this toxic mess. Bad editing, no continuity, nameless faces, great sound EFX (Lucasfilm can't even come close to the phone ring in this one), and illogical events will leave you baffled and bewildered. C'mon! That was the actual space capsule that crash landed? I've seen shop projects that looked more realistic. SHEESH! Also, having events (which you don't actually see) being described by a narrator shows that Rebane has collaborated with Coleman Francis in the past.

Actually, seeing this first on MST made this a lot less painful. Watch it again and you just crack up over how third rate this one is. If only Joel and the bots won the Johnny LongTorso contest cause you can really feel how painful this one was for them!