Maciste contre les hommes de pierre

. . . in a movie entitled Hercules Against the Moon Men? I gave it five out of 10 because it is quite average for a movie of its type -- silly Italian Hercules movies being the type.

While this film made a very funny episode of MST3K, I am reviewing the film itself, not the MST3k version.

Giacomo Gentilomo and other Italian directors of the 1950s and 1960s made Hercules the James Bond of classical times. Smart, impossible to defeat and always pure of heart, Herc always got the goods and the girl. Sergio Ciani (AKA Alan Steel) plays Hercules this time. A former stunt double for Steve Reeves, Ciani does as well with this role as any of his predecessors. It has been noted that Ciani was shorter than the other Hercs in the series. While this is apparent in the film, it's worth noting that he was a mere two inches shorter than the larger-than life Reeves.

I found this film to be much more entertaining and polished than it had a right to be. The directing, editing and cinematography were fine, and the only pacing disaster was the seemingly endless sand storm. the film's art design was superior to the rest of the series. It is not surprising that Director Gentilomo became a full-time professional fine artist shortly after making this film.

In Moon Men, Hercules must face the evil power of the moon and the supernatural creatures who came to earth on a meteorite and use human sacrifice to wield mysterious power. In addition, he has to face a powerful and power-hungry queen allied to these creatures and the evil influence of Uranus. As ridiculous as this plot is, it is, at least, creative, and offers some innovative opportunities for very different fight scenes, sets, and subplots. The script is about as straightforward as it gets, and the English dubbing is actually pretty good.

Silly, but harmless. An extra star for the costumes and creative use of effects.

Alan Steele makes a nice Hercules. Jany Clair makes a very beautiful evil queen. The fanged monkey-monster is hilarious and kind of cool. The head moon man is weird enough. The rock moon men are OK. The fight scenes are passable. The continuity is fair to better than most movies of this genre. The plot is average. The acting is what you'd expect in a B movie and nothing more. The sets are OK. The photography is not the greatest, especially the out door scenes, but it works well enough. If, when you think Hercules, Kevin Sorbo is the first name that pops into your head you probably won't like this flick and don't need to waste time watching it. But if, when someone says Superman, the first name that comes to mind is George Reeves and not Christopher Reeve, well you'll probably enjoy this movie. Its a good movie to kick back and have fun with so long as you're not setting your sights to high.

Enter Alan Steel as greasy, gym rat Hercules. He must battle the evil Queen Zamara and the moon men. Funny thing is it's never explained who the moon men are (strange especially since they're on earth!). Annoying characters include Prince Darrick, Princess Phyllis, and his girlfriend Agar. Lots of Pizza Pizza guards getting tossed by Herc like 20 lb dumbbells. Try to regain composure (and reality) after the brutally boring and pointless `sandstorm' part.

Watch the great part with the old man and the trap. You'd think he'd remember it was there!

Once again, the most frequently asked question in exploitation/cult cinema pops up: Who the hell comes up with stuff like this?!? Aliens from the moon, entirely made of rock and led by a robot-crossover between Darth Vader and C3PO, invade an ancient Greek community and force the people to sacrifice their children for no apparent reason! And, instead of moving out of the area, they blindly obey until they can't take it anymore and call for the help of Hercules. The over-muscled warrior hero arrives, eliminates the evil queen, kicks some alien-butt and falls in love with the local beauty. The end. In all honesty, this movie really isn't that bad. At least it's much better than most other entries in the seemly endless Hercules franchise. The movie only gets boring past the hour, due to the incredibly overlong sandstorm-climax, and you simply have to ignore the plot holes that have the size of a meteor. If you manage to look beyond the silliness, "Hercules against the Moon Men" is a harmless cult-quickie that offers some nice action-sequences and a handful of decent gimmicks. Alan Steel is an average Hercules – not as cool as Steve Reeves but definitely better than Peter Lupus & Mike Lane – and natural redhead Jany Clair is quite sexy as the malicious queen who made a pact with the alien leader. The supportive cast varies from mediocre to awful. I'd really like to see the MST3K-version of this film, as I heard and read some great things about it. Now, let's start wiping the sand out of my eyes.