Astronautes malgré eux

After a break of ten years, this was to be the last entry into the long - running and extremely popular series of "Road" movies.

Space rockets, espionage and international intrigue provide the backdrop on this occasion as Hope and Crosby are kidnapped by the leaders of a mysterious and thoroughly evil interplanetary organization known as the "Third Echelon" who force them to become unwilling astronauts in order to take over the world. The two stars were in their late fifties by the time this one came along and they were obviously due to retire from their familiar, high-energy roles as roustabout con men / adventurers. But, even though they may have been slowing down, just a tad, the generally snappy pace and witty banter of earlier outings remained intact.

Made in England and shot in black and white, this quirky, low budget offering must have been a visual disappointment for audiences after the color escapades of its immediate predecessor - 1952's "Road to Bali". Although Dorothy Lamour makes a brief appearance, she had been largely replaced as the love interest by the younger British sex symbol, Joan Collins. The rest of the supporting cast, headed up by Robert Morley, is excellent and playful cameos by Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin just before the curtain falls added a topical touch to the proceedings as Sinatra's "Rat Pack" was constantly in the news. As usual, there are a couple of good songs, the best of which, "Team Work", opens the picture.

Despite its somewhat bargain basement look, "The Road to Hong Kong" still manages to provide a fun finale to the series.

Someone remarked that the boys in their 60's were too old to be on adventures, and should be in retirement homes instead. I would hate to be that person's parents if he/she believes that people in their 60's belong in retirement homes! You're never too old for goofy adventures.

As it happens, H&C were 59 when they did this final Road picture, and it was definitely not their best work. The plot is even thinner than previous farces without the superb timing and camaraderie we associate with the two.

Far sadder is the way they ditched their witty and lovely partner Dorothy Lamour for a girl half their age; Joan Collins was 29 when she scampered around with the pair. This is a painful mirror of our society's tacit approval for older men to dump their wives for a younger model.

By far the funniest scene features Peter Sellers as a ditzy neurologist.

There are no bad ROAD movies, and I do not except this one from that statement. As someone once said of the Marx Brothers film AT THE CIRCUS (and I paraphrase) in the career of any other comedy team this picture would be considered a classic. It not only holds its own with the rest of the series but I actually prefer it to ROAD TO RIO, which (while still adhering to the Road Rule stated above) always seemed like the weakest of the series to me. It's funny the reasons some other posters have given for not liking the film: It looks like it was made in the Sixties (it was), the stars looks like they're nearing their sixties (they were, and so what?), it's not as funny as the others in the series (in any given horse race one horse will come in last, but he still had to be pretty damn good to get into the race in the first place). And nobody seems to much like Joan Collins. Well, she was gorgeous and a competent enough actress and in a movie like this who cares anyway? It's Bob and Bing's movie and despite what anyone says they prove they've still got the goods and deliver them with ease. I say quit carping and enjoy.

Yes, Bob and Bing are almost elderly and Dotty only gets a minor role in it but I really enjoy watching this, the last of the Road films. I am old enough to rightly claim that I saw it as a kid when it first hit the screen and it has gotten better as I have grown older. I certainly didn't get some of the quips like "I think this guy rolls his own" in response to the supreme leader's rant about dominating the world from his bases on the moon. I didn't know why Peter Sellers was so funny as he spoofs his Indian doctor from "The Millionairess". I didn't know why David Niven was sniggering as he was remembering "Lady Chatterleys Lover". I loved the dynamic between Bob and Bing. I enjoyed the songs - no classics but very catchy and witty. There was some broad comedy and the salute to Chaplin's "Modern Times" as the machines designed to feed and comfort the apes rather than humans whilst in space go out of synch and at double speed. There was the usual breaking of the fourth wall and cameo that became a staple in the series. The film was almost prescient in being a spoof on Bond films that had not been made. Walter Gotell playing the cold blooded right hand man in much the same manner as he did in "From Russia with Love". There is a super villain who plans to take over control of the world from space. There is a beautiful agent to be won over to the side of right and good. Even the chess master in "From Russia with Love", Peter Madden, turns up as a monk who tells Bing and Bob that money and women are of no importance. To which Bob retorts, "He needs to spend a weekend in Vegas". Another strangely prescient quip that only a year later was echoed by Major Kong in "Dr Strangelove". But I digress - as does the film. I suppose the film is a case of the film being like an old vaudeville show. It's got all sorts of bits and pieces cobbled together with the storyline being of least importance. At one point Bob asks Bing why he is foolishly going to try to fly with a "malted milkshake machine" strapped to his behind. Bing explains it in terms of the money etc. But then adds, " Besides it's a plot point". Again, that one flew over my head as a kid but today it gives me a smile if not a laugh. Yes, people who are not of my vintage and sensibilities are free to not enjoy the film but I am glad to be able to enjoy the last of Bob and Bings' teamwork.

This turned out to be the end of a great cycle of comedy films. Two mega-individual stars, pooling their talents to come up with comedy classics.

Since this was the only Road picture not done on the Paramount lot it has a whole different feel to it and not for the better. Unfortunately the decision was made to dump Dorothy Lamour from her traditional role as sex object for Crosby and Hope to pant over. Joan Collins was years away from her career role as Alexis Carrington. Here she's just not into the same spirit of things that Dotty was. Dotty was brought in and did one of her numbers Warmer Than A Whisper towards the end of the film.

It's been pointed out that 29 year old Collins looked ridiculous falling for 58 year old Crosby. I can see the case for it, but I would remind everyone that four years earlier, Bing in fact took as his second wife, a woman with just such an age difference.

One of the inside jokes of the film was that Hope's name in the film was Chester Babcock which is the birth name of Jimmy Van Heusen who wrote so many film scores for Crosby. Van Heusen and Sammy Cahn contributed a ballad for Bing dueted with Collins called Let's Not Be Sensible. And Bob and Bing get two patter numbers, Teamwork and the title tune. There's a lot less music in this outing and that's not for the better of the film.

Still the film has some good comedic moments the best of which involve a hilarious scene in a Hindu doctor's office with an unbilled Peter Sellers as the doctor. The doctor advises Hope to take a cure for amnesia at a hidden lamasery, a la Shangri La, where they find David Niven committing Lady Chatterley's Lover to memory. And at the end when the boys and Collins arrive on another planet in a surreal ending they find Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin waiting for them.

Among the rest of the supporting cast Robert Morley as a mad scientist and chief villain and Felix Aylmer as the Grand Lama stand out.

Before Crosby died in 1977, he Hope and Lamour and signed to do still another film entitled Road to the Fountain of Youth. I wish it had been done. Road to Hong Kong is all right, but not up to the standards of those wacky days at Paramount.