The Dead One

Now, this is one boring film! For such a short film, they sure find a lot of time for nothing to happen, which is a shame because I was looking forward to this one.

You've got your playboy jazz guy who's settling down in a plantation he's inherited, but not after taking his new bride to see some jazz, some other jazz, and a belly dancer (that must every new bride's dream honeymoon!). Boringly, his cousin, who's mental, is doing voodoo at the plantation and resurrecting her dead brother so he can kill the new bride for some reason (seems awfully complicated when a simple gunshot would do). This involves a lot, and I mean a LOT, of bongo abuse. Seriously, the guy in this film hammers those bongos so much I'd expect his fingers were the size of Arnie's biceps by the time they'd finished the film.

So, near enough the first three quarters of this film are uneventful, so by the time they have the dead guy shuffling about looking to throttle someone, you'll be sound asleep. It did dawn on me that the zombie resembled Diamond Dogs era, coke-addled Bowie, so that gave me a chuckle, as did the ending, where the hero was all like "Well, cops…that's what happened. See ya!".

You might derive fun from this. The print you can get in the UK is one of the best I've seen for such an old film.

Yeah, I get that the pace of this movie is almost glacial at times, while some, if not most of the actors are amateurish ( although John McKay was solid enough ), that the narrative is simplistically straightforward and that director Barry Mahon is well known for his cheezy and/ or sleazy cinematic catalog. Nonetheless, this film has a certain character driven, vintage charm that can't be explained in film books. I think that we're all getting acclimated to zombie movies sodden with so much in-your-face special effects that our senses have been dulled to the point of being transformed into the undead ourselves. The characters here, presented as newlyweds are believable and empathetic, qualities that often go neglected in modern film making. The exterior cinematography is strong, featuring bold colors of classic Louisiana imagery. " The Dead One " begins with a taste of NOLA culture via a couple of entertaining jazz bands and a hypnotic dance number featuring Darlene Myrick. I wondered if Linda Ormond, who played the new wife, was related to the Ormond Brothers that created the classic swamp flick " The Exotic Ones " aka " The Monster and the Stripper " from the same era. The titular walker here seems like a cross between a heavy metal front man and a waiter at a high end restaurant, but at least he was refreshing in his lack of raggedy attire and excessive guttural groaning. The undead dude is slow moving and quiet like a zombie oughta be, although at some points admittedly you're like reel it in already. Strongly composed interior shots express an authenticity of a rural southern milieu that may be no more than a memory now, and all-in-all makes for a genuine atmosphere that seems custom tailored for the seamy swampy Nawlins area undead genre. Maybe I'm operating on nostalgia or my southern roots, or call it a guilty pleasure, and don't necessarily take my largely favorable review as a heavy recommendation, but in the words of The Cramps, " Well I don't know about art but I know what I like I'll be a surfin' in a swamp on a Saturday night ".

Writer/Director/Producer Barry Mahon, who gave us Santa and the Three Bears, started out with cheesy flicks like this one, also known as Blood of the Zombie.

Despite the low grade script by Mahon, and the Grade Z acting, this was a fascinating zombie picture, set appropriately in New Orleans.

John MacKay may be investigating fellow cops on "Law & Order" but this baby is in his early career. His wife, Linda Ormond, was probably too ashamed to make another movie, as was the zombie, Uncle Jonas (Clyde Kelly), who was the perfect zombie. he had the clothes and the walk and the movement down pat. He should be in the Zombie Hall of Fame, if there is one.

Good for a laugh and a look at the career work of Barry Mahon, an interesting character.

This film (also known as "Blood of the Zombie" ) is one of those movies that could have been much better if the acting had been at least average. But it wasn't and the results speak for itself. Essentially, "John Carlton" (John McKay) is a young man who by getting married inherits a plantation as stipulated in a will. So he and his bride, "Linda Carlton" (Linda Ormand) drive into the Louisiana countryside to legally claim it. The problem is that his cousin, "Monica" (Monica Davis) has no intention of giving it up even though John Carlton offers her half of it. Realizing that the plantation will be all hers if something happens to the bride, Monica resorts to voodoo and raises a zombie to kill Linda. Anyway, rather than giving the entire story away I'll just say that this movie had a good location and decent storyline. John McKay turned in an adequate performance as did Linda Ormand and the nightclub dancer "Bella Bella" (Darlene Myrick) to a lesser degree. But what really killed this film was the acting of Monica Davis who sounded as if she was reading her lines for the very first time. In short, this film is worth a look only if you're an extreme fan of zombie films. Otherwise, just skip it.

So says the leading man and he should know! Then again he keeps saying similar statements throughout this film, even when voodoo evidence is staring him in the face. But he isn't the sharpest tool in the box, after marrying his lovely new bride, he brings her back to the family's ancestral home and what does he do on their honeymoon? Shows her around the old slaves quarters and the burial crypts...Romantic fool or what?

This zombie film falls into the old style, where the creatures stumble around while following the will of another. Unlike the brain eating ones from 'Night of the living dead' film and onwards. At least this one here is natty dressed in a suit and bow-tie, always good to look your best when your long dead.

Reading between the lines, it looks like the producers of this film must have got some financial backing from the New Orleans tourist board as the first half hour takes in the jazz clubs and exotic dance bars of the city.

A very slight story here in itself, the new groom's cousin wants the family business for herself and enlists her dead brother through voodoo to get rid of him and his friends. Only one person is killed, the annoying exotic dancer they picked up on the way and due to her appalling acting, I wasn't that sad to see her go! After gatecrashing the voodoo ceremony and throwing the beaten drum out the window and giving his cousin a good slap, our hero saves the day. Sudden sunlight finally does for the zombie brother, seems a lack of drum beat and sunlight are things that finish off these creatures. Here's me thinking it was a good bullet in the old noggin.

At least the short running time is one thing in this film's favour but very little else. Still, I can now add to my fellow reviewer here, that there are now three (count 'em) people who have seen this film.

Or in the immortal words of New Orleans jazz club owner puts it before launching into a piano solo, "What's happening, dad?"

Er...not a lot actually....