September Storm

Pleasing skin-diving adventure, simple-minded but satisfying, has a young native of Majorca attempting to woo a pretty New York model with big talk of the boats he owns; turns out he's just the caretaker of the sailing vessels, and ends up stealing one for a three-week jaunt after two adventurers convince the couple that a million dollars' worth of gold coins went down with an African ship in the Mediterranean. Based on Steve Fisher's uncredited book "The Girl in the Red Bikini", the film (originally presented in CinemaScope and 3-D) allows Joanne Dru to let her hair down for once. Ofttimes cast as a frontier wife or nurse, Dru proves to be an attractive partner in the plan, even as male-female tensions aboard ship threaten to erupt. The action is slow in coming (a rather sleepy shark swims by twice, and a Portuguese Man of War stings Mark Stevens somewhere on his body), but the colorful locations and underwater photography make up for the lack of plot and wooden line-readings. ** from ****

Low-ish-budget adventure film from twentieth century fox. Sexy anne (joanne dru) and manuel (asher dann) meet up in majorca, and were doing okay. But along come treasure hunters joe and ernie and really louse things up. Eventually they all rent a boat to look for pirate gold, but so many set backs. Storms, lovers quarrels, jealousy and fighting. Even stinging jellyfish. Will they ever find the gold? Or will all the fighting keep them from ever getting to it? It's okay. Co-stars mark stevens, robert strauss. Stevens looks and sounds JUST like dean martin. Directed by byron haskin. He was nominated for FOUR oscars in the 1940s, and was given a technical achievement award in 1939.

but my family and I watched part of it being filmed in Mallorca. I was in love with Joanne Dru and blown away by the huge lights and a camera about a hundred times the size of our Bell and Howell, all mounted on a barge, as they filmed the principal actors on a diving board. Many takes, each time with the assistant director screaming "Silencio Po favor" to all the tourists on the beach. The funny thing was that we all did fall silent.

One of the actors had to spin a coin in the air and catch it. He kept dropping it in the water, the director would shout "Cut" and a boy would be dispatched into the water to retrieve what was supposed to be a gold coin. Such a waste of a large crew's time must make producers crazy and directors nervous, let alone the poor actors.

Why, oh why do I waste my time watching 3rd run crap like this? I believed that this film was something worth watching at 6:00 a.m. on American Movie Classics, but boy, was I wrong! I'd have done better watching old reruns of "Let's Make a Deal." This film looks as if it were shot with a Brownie camera, the quality is so bad. It also resembles one of those old Italian sword and sandal jobs, with scenes switching back and forth for no reason. The film editor must've completed a correspondence course from the Rinky-Dink School of Film Editing. At least they could have asked Ivan Tors for a real shark during the underwater shark attack scene.

Mark Stevens looks sickly, Joanne Dru is OK, Robert Strauss is at his comic best, although he tries to play it straight, and Asher Dunn - he's cute. That's all.

MST3K - go for it. Everyone else - skip it. Especially at 6:00 a.m.

September Storm is obviously one of those kind of movies they just don't make anymore. In the 1950s and early 60s, the ingredients for an adventure movie were an exotic locale, a handsome hero, a sassy and pretty girl and a couple of bad guys. This movie has all these ingredients and they are mostly put to good use. The story itself is simple: two shady characters convince a Majorcan sailor to use his boss's yacht to recover sunken gold. A lovely American model is thrown in to keep things interesting. The voyage leads to cross and double-cross as the men quarrel over the money and the "dame". Underwater scenes are actually filmed very well considering the period, although the use of a rubber shark is unconvincing. There are several cringey moments of sexism in the dialog that are reflective of the period. Perhaps the most outstanding is when the bad guy says something to the effect of "Why do I gotta cook? - we gotta woman".

There is some glaring unevenness in the characters. One moment they are literally trying to kill one another and in the following scene they're all one big happy crew. The ending is kind of open-ended and a tad unsatisfying but at least nobody got killed.