Lonely Heart Bandits

Two lonelyhearts swindlers target a respectable widow.

What can you say about a police roadblock that looks no more forbidding than a parking lot entrance or a tropical cooling fan that spins with all the speed of a clock's minute hand. Sure, not much is expected from a 60-minute Republic feature, especially when it's not a matinée western. And this tacky crime drama doesn't disappoint.

But at least the producers got a bang for their buck from a decent cast. Especially from the great Ann Doran (Nancy), one of those unsung, unglamorous players who carry the movies on their collective backs. Here, she gets the screen time her talents deserve and makes even the occasional plot pitfall believable.

Still, the story is filmed in unimaginative fashion, while the script shuffles players in and out in no apparent order. Okay there's little point in criticizing a cheap programmer like this. It's like complaining about a cheap used car when it won't go over 50 on the highway. Too bad the even the more penurious PRC didn't get the material first. That way we might have gotten at least a cut-rate noir.

Best known for its serials and westerns, Republic Pictures also regularly made mysteries and crime dramas throughout its lifespan. The ones from the post-World War II-era are very little known, and while I've seen some misfires among them, many are solid b-movies that are always competently made, well-acted by the supporting casts, and completely unpretentious. Republic's output in this era always had a slick look, and never had a very dark or fatalistic feel to them (DECOY or DETOUR would never be Republic releases!), so those seeking hard-boiled noir should probably seek out obscure PRC or Eagle-Lion or Film Classics or even Lippert releases. However, LONELY HEART BANDITS is a fine little b-programmer, with a con-man and his female partner fleecing and sometimes killing lonely people who answer personal ads for romantic partners. The film wastes no time in getting started, and features a wonderfully evil performance by veteran supporting player John Eldredge, well-known for his appearances in many Universal, Monogram, and Republic productions. He probably loved playing this juicy role, as a "distinguished" older man who charms rich widows, marries them, takes their money, and sometimes (when he feels it's "necessary") kills them. There are no surprises here, and like much of Republic's 1950s output it plays a lot like a TV episode, but I found it to be an entertaining way to kill an hour. Of special interest is a memorable performance by Kathleen Freeman (fine comic actress, known for many roles in Jerry Lewis films) as Bertha, a friend of the heroine, who finds a man who is perfectly suited for her (you'll see what I mean by that!) through a lonely hearts club. During one of her scenes, Ms. Freeman does a beautiful job with a speech about how it feels to be lonely and without love. What a great talent she was--she will be missed. Overall, LONELY HEART BANDITS is not something you need to track down immediately, but is a solid b-movie that achieves what it set out to do.

"Lonely Hearts Bandits" has a plot that is really interesting and unique. Sadly, however the execution of the script is a problem...with indifferent direction, some occasionally poor acting and a few disappointments when it comes to writing.

The story is somewhat reminiscent of the sick film "The Honeymoon Killers"...a low budget picture about a pair of true life serial killers. The guy would romance women and then he and his real wife would murder them and take whatever money they could. In the case of "Lonely Heart Bandits", it's not based on a real case and comes from Republic Pictures.

Tony and Louise are a couple grifters who meet and form an instant attraction. Louise has been doing some petty thefts of men who she's met through a lonely hearts organization and Tony suggests they could make a LOT more by him romancing lonely people and then killing them for their money! Unfortunately, these con artists turn out to be really, really stupid...and therefore quite easy to catch!

This SHOULD have been a very exciting B-movie. Instead, a few times the acting was so bad that it took me out of the film...and the way the crooks were caught seemed amazingly easy. To make things worse, the story then had a happy ending which seemed really far-fetched. I'd say more but don't want to spoil the twist at the end if you haven't seen it.

The film opens up with a guy busting up a lonely-hearts office run by Dorothy Granger. He complains that all of their advertised babes turn out to be old hags who smoke cigars or have no teeth, so it's easy to understand why he's complaining. Con-artists John Eldrige and Dorothy Patrick meet through this outfit, with Patrick being the go-to sophisticated and attractive girl for well off gentlemen that Granger wants to fleece. Instead, Eldridge sees through their con and offers partnership in a separate and new lonely hearts outfit to Patrick. He also offers marriage as part of the partnership, she accepts. He figures that if they present themselves as brother and sister to their intended victims they will seem more respectable. They mail out brochures for their lonely-hearts club throughout the land, claiming they are looking for respectable widows seeking love with equally respectable men, when they are actually looking for wealthy women to fleece.

Ann Doran is a lonely but moderately propertied widow whose son has just shipped off to Saudi Arabia for well paying work. Her pal (Kathleen Freeman) is off to marry her lonely hearts find of a husband and shows her a brochure. Encouraged by Freeman's results, Doran writes to the same lonely hearts club. As a result, Eldridge shows up with his "sister" (Patrick). But the small-town relatives and neighbors are too suspicious, so Eldridge and Patrick decide to move fast. Patrick takes Doran to Chicago, allegedly for a trousseau buying trip, while Eldridge disposes of any property that he can without them yet being married. But Doran doesn't return from Chicago and so her son returns from sunny Araby early to try and help the neighbors find his mother.

The first half of this film is pretty good, with good acting. It is even poignant at points. But during the second half, when the film segues into a man hunt for Eldridge and a missing person search for Duran, it gets stiff and pretentious and makes Dragnet look like The Asphalt Jungle. Part of the problem is that Eric Sinclair, as Ann Doran's son, simply couldn't act if his life depended upon it. Still I'd give it a six overall, because I wanted to sit through the contrived man hunt part to see how the situations that I met with in the first half turned out.

Interesting and amusing tidbits - Ann Doran's son calls her "Nancy" and she calls him son, although you'd expect her to call him by his name and for him to call her mom. Perhaps this is why she feels so alone and off kilter. Also, Kathleen Freeman returns home with an actual legitimate husband from this lonely-hearts outfit who seems just perfect for her. Perhaps she was lucky enough to be too poor to rob.

John Eldridge (Wade) and Dorothy Patrick (Louise) team up to fleece lonely heart club members of their wealth. Eldridge puts himself forward as the dating bait and Patrick does her bit to ensure their plan brings in the money. She provides the most memorable sequence of the film set on a train and the funniest dialogue. When asked by Eldridge about her mission to "lose" their victim Ann Doran (Nancy), she replies that he can "consider her lost". Ha ha.

Unfortunately, the picture quality isn't great and we don't have any real emotional involvement in any of it as the film is very paint by numbers. This happens and then that happens and then this happens, etc and then it is the end.

It reminded me of a better film on a similar topic - "Honeymoon Killers" (1970) - which is based on truth. This could have been a good film with a better budget and longer running time.