Three Bad Sisters

We have to remember that the 50's were practically a blank slate when it came to movies. Hollywood was in transition from patriotic war movies, noir, two reel oaters, etc to movies with a message. We had Blackboard Jungle, On the Waterfront and so on. Some folks might think that was an improvement. I don't. Who was the mogul who said: If you want to send a message, call Western Union? He was right. These psychological thrillers are less entertainment than some kind of remote therapy.

This one is a pip. It's about three sisters trying to wrest control of their dead father's estate. One of them, maybe the only one worth redemption enlists the aid of the company pilot to help her keep the rest of the family at bay. He's initially in it for the bucks, but eventually falls for her. Meanwhile the rest of the family schemes to sabotage the romance. The results are predictable. You get a little bit of everything in this movie. Sexual tension between the sisters. A little subtle masochism. Hereditary insanity - if there is such a thing. We never get to meet the parents, but they must really have been screwed up The cast is practically unknown. One or two of the actors sound vaguely familiar. The acting is so bad it's hard to believe. It was released under the United Artists umbrella by a company called Bel-Air Productions. It was shot in and around LA mostly at night and probably without permits. The end was so bizarre that I thought it was a joke. It was as if they ran out of money and the producer decided to wrap it up in the middle of a scene.

I can't explain it - not even to myself - but I gave this pile of trash an 8/10. I'm familiar with the term "It's so bad it's good", but I don't think I ever ran into the phenomenon before. Well, maybe "Hot Rods to Hell", but this one certainly fits. You might want to try this if you love movies that seem like they were made in somebody's basement.

That hilarious line is typical of what these naughty sisters say. (It's funny on its own terms and pretty funny unintentionally , too.) Only two of the sisters are really bad. Boy, are they bad, too! One is given to pinup poses and salacious comments where e'er she goes. The other is got up to look like Marilyn Monroe. She has those sensual, slightly parted lips. And, not to give anything away, she is even more bad than the other.

All three sisters are played by starlets. The man who stumbles into their lives is played by John Bromfield. He had something of a career.

This looks today like possibly the first mainstream soft-core porn ever marketed. Well, of course not the first but the raciest at that time.

The girls wear as little as possible and let's not forget about the female audience members: Bromfield is shown shaving with an electric razor -- whose fetish was this? -- bare-chested. He also is shown sopping wet in a swimsuit.

There's a real plot here, too: The girls' family, see, is cursed. They are prone to suicide -- or dramatic deaths that can be made to seem like suicide.

The movie is not bad. I truly don't know where it was shown. Maybe it was made for drive-ins. Somehow, and I could be wrong, I felt that the typical male audience was not the primary target here. The women are scantily dressed. They often resemble lurid covers of mags like Police Detective or jackets of dime novels.

But the guy seems to be the central focus. Not everyone in the movie likes him, but all the girls love him. And I think the audience is meant to also.

It's lots of fun -- and on its own terms, too.

The title tells a lie: It's actually two bad sisters. The middle sibling Lorna (played by Sara Shane) proves as virtuous as she is dull, compared to the psychotic (Valerie, played by Kathleen Hughes) and the nymphomaniac (Vicki, played by Marla English) with whom she shares a mansion and their dead father's millions. (Also in the mix is a boozed-up busybody of an aunt played by Madge Kennedy.)

The trouble, which has been brewing for three lifetimes, boils over when dad dies in a plane crash. The pilot (John Bromfield) claims to have tried to save him, but doubts abound. Valerie, sniffing an opportunity, schemes to have him brought into the family business and marry him off to Lorna, engaged to the estate's executor (Jess Barker). She hadn't reckoned on Vicki, who throws herself at Bromfield as though lust had just been put on the market in easy-to-swallow caplets (`I graduated magna cum laude from Embraceable U,' she coos at him).

Valerie and Vicki make Goneril and Regan look like Little Sisters of the Poor. They openly and viciously taunt one another, and Lorna, about age, and looks, and anything else their stoat-like minds can come up with. In one eyes-like-saucers scene, the twisted sisters get into a cat-fight concluding with Valerie's taking a riding crop to Vicki's face, driving her (quite literally) around the bend. All the while she's photographed in pitiless close-up, her thickly-lipsticked maw stretched wide in ecstatic triumph. But wait! There's more....

Suds'd-up trash so pungent it's hard to pass it by, Three Bad Sisters was a late-50s Z-movie template for the motivelessly malignant soaps and serials that soon became a staple of television screens, filling the days of our lives. Script, acting and production boast no redeeming qualities whatsoever, except excess and sheer effrontery. In regard to those qualities, Three Bad Sisters offers an embarrassment of riches.

I have a weakness for so called exploitation films made for the youth of America in the 50's and this is one of the best. I do not agree with one reviewer who said it was possibly the first soft core porn film made for the mainstream. Clearly the UK censor of the time had similar thoughts in mind and banned it. To my knowledge it has never played in a UK cinema or shown on television here. It has its moments of violence, but this is a film in the tradition of Bette Davis, Joan Crawford and Olivia de Havilland as the ' good ' sister. And yes in this black and white melodrama there is always a good sister and the good/slash bad hero goes for her. In fact in its over the top way it as moral as any major Hollywood film of the 40's or 50's. If anyone wants to check this point out take a look at ' Female on the Beach ' with Joan Crawford plus a male and female pimp selling Jeff Chandler in sexy swimsuits to the highest bidders. It is just as violent as this film plus a not too moral ending. This in contrast keeps more or less to the straight and narrow. But in its delirious and improbable scenario and in its acting it is a Camp film and Marla English stands out as really quite a good actress. And the ending in its crazy way reminded me of Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr in ' From Here to Eternity '. I would like to lay a bet it was on the mind of both director and writer. In all it is not to be missed just to see both how well made it is and how it makes censors often look like fools, especially in the UK in the 1950's.

Bad script+bad acting+bad direction=no hope

But it's one of those too rare so bad it's good movies.

Three Bad Sisters stars three bad starlets: Marla English, Kathleen Hughes, and Sara Shane and is directed by Gilbert Kay.

Someone said this is a remake of King Lear. On what planet? A wealthy man, Craig, apparently commits suicide while in a private plane piloted by Jim Norton (John Bromfield).

Norton is cleared of any wrongdoing, but I could not clear him from monotone acting. He does throw Anthony George of Checkmate fame through a window, though.

The family has some sort of suicide curse; one of the sisters (Shane) nearly jumped from the dangerous Devil's Bridge. You can bet that at some point she'll head back there.

Well, all these babes want this pilot for different reasons, but other than for sex, it's never really spelled out. He's supposed to get involved with one sister and break up her romance with someone else, go into business with another sister - all very confusing.

Vicki (Marla English) tells Jim she graduated from Embraceable U. Wonder how long it took to think up that line. Her wiles don't make it- he falls in love with Lorna (Sara Shane).

One of the sisters, Valerie (Hughes) decides that dividing the estate by one is better so she sets out to destroy the other two, culminating in a fight with Vicki that ruins her looks and sends her over the edge. Her next stop is the romance between Jim and Lorna.

Lorna has a great driving scene a la Lana Turner in The Bad and the Beautiful, i.e., hysterical while on the road, and she and Bromfield have a Lancaster-Kerr From Here to Eternity moment in the water.

As Johnny Carson said, growing up he thought foreplay ended by drowning. You'll wish it were so after seeing this.