Les hommes épousent les brunes

Have you ever seen such an awful movie that despite how bad it is it's still very entertaining? Well, welcome to the world of Anita Loo's and find out why Gentlemen may Prefer Blondes, but they don't neccessarily Marry Brunettes.

Here we have Jane Russell giving a very bad imitation of Marilyn Monroe with Jeanne Crain doing a very bad imitation of Jane Russell whose singing is dubbed by Anita Ellis who had dubbed Vera Ellen in the movie "Three Little Words". Then we've got Rudy Vallee who looks like he's a zombie on his last leg, ready for the grave, but still trying to sing "Have You Met Miss Jones" and a very bad, but hilarious rendition of, "I Wanna Be Loved By You" with Jane and Jeanne impersonating brainless idiot chorus girls, singing in high-pitched brainless notes through their noses, and on the soundtrack album it states that the singing for this particular number is sung by Miss Crain herself, and if I had been Miss Crain I, in no way, would have admitted to it by allowing that to appear on the album, but she's justified by a wonderful rendition, even though dubbed by Anita Ellis, of "My Funny Valentine"! Then you've got "You're Driving Me Crazy" which is fun, especially when the girls are expected to lift their fans at the end of the number saying, "I Couldn't Care Less!", and appear nude in front of the audiance, and Alan Young is booing them with the rest of the audiance, and Jane Russell later defends their actions by saying that they thought the French had a sense of humor!

Then you've got Scott Brady who didn't do his own singing [Robert Farnon the director of the orchestra did the dubbing for Brady], but Alan Young did do his own singing, but I really have to admit that even though the final number in the film has to be the worse musical number ever filmed for a movie, I really enjoyed it! Well, it WAS different! Here's Jane and Jeanne dressed up like birds of paradise standing in a pot ready to be cooked for dinner by the restless hungry natives in Africa and Alan Young is up in a tree dressed up like an Ape, and he, the girls, and the natives are all singing Ain't Misbehaving which makes about as much sense as an adajio dancer trying to dance on a hot rock, but pulling this whole ridiculous number together with the singing which isn't really that bad even though the natives sound like their singing Tarzan's favorite line OOM-GOW-WHAH during the chorus - dumb as it was - I LIKED IT, especially when Jane Russell does her sultry sexy rendition of Ain't Misbehaving like only she can do with the natives in the background still sounding like their singing OOM-GOW-WHAH!

But, the ending is priceless with Scott Brady starting out saying:

SCOTT: Bonnie! Will you marry me? JANE: [Imitating Marilyn Monroe] No! SCOTT: Bonnie! Do you really mean that? JANE: [Imitating Jane Russell] No!

Then she breaks into song singing some of "I Got Five Dollars" and when she gets to "Everything" Scott Brady asks, "Everything?" and she answers "Everything" and while they kiss, Jane Russell appears aboard as her older gray haired, wrinkled up, Aunt or Mother or whoever she is, and she sees what's happening, and she says, in her crackly old-age voice, to the Captain of the ship:

WHERE'S THE BAR!

And that's exactly how you feel when the movie is ending:

WHERE'S THE BAR!

Make mine a double vodka on the rocks with a twist of lemon, thank you very much so that I can justify, with what's left of my mind after viewing this two-hour fiasco, why I found this very bad, awful, musical so entertaining!

This movie is growing on me, I didn't like it the first time but, it has some great parts. If you are looking for another Gentlemen Prefer Blondes it is not as good as that movie but it does have some fun numbers like "Have You Met Miss Jones" Some great scenery, and Jane is funny in this. It does have some parts that are goofy and the "I've Got Five Dollars" sounds like it was made up on the spot, just singing about any trivial thing. The "AINT MISBEHAVING" is the topper with a jungle tribe ready to feast on the girls and Alan Young in that gorilla suit doing the Marlene Dietrich Hot Voodoo bit. this may take more than one viewing to be appreciated.

Okay, first let me come clean with my biases: I'm a Jane Russell fan. Even recognizing how amazing Marilyn Monroe was, etc, etc... Even in 'Gentlemen Prefer Blondes', I've personally always preferred Jane Russell's 'wise-cracking dame' screen persona to Marilyn's blowsy bubble-head. But that said...

While I agree that "Gentlemen Marry Brunettes" is by no means a great film, even if one lowers the bar to generic 50's musical standards. Still, I do think its greatest sin is in not being "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes". It wouldn't seem half so bad if it didn't instantly invite comparison to a classic 'relative' ("Gentlemen Prefer Blondes").

Yet and still the production values are generally very high. Costumes by Travilla, additional fashions by Dior, and the period location filming in Paris and Monte Carlo alone really is (almost) worth sitting through the movie for.

As an earlier commentator pointed out, I do think it was a mistake to make Jane play an 'air-head'. One of her strenghts as a performer/film personality is that her basic integrity usually shone through on screen. It's a shame to hide that.

The biggest mistakes (in my opinion) are that neither Jane, nor Jeanne Crain were given a 'solo-number'. It may seem a small thing, but if one reflects on the shining moments of "Blondes", one's mind immediately goes to Marilyn's "Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend" and Jane pushing the muscle men around in "Ain't There Anyone Here For Love?". It's in these two scenes where both performer's personalities (Marilyn, the 'sizzling' blonde bombshell; and Jane, the raven-haired, self-effacing flirt) really shine. No such scenes exist in "Brunettes" for either character.

Further, while I like Jeanne Crain as a performer, I can't help feeling that the story needed another kind of 'contrast' to replace that dynamism between blonde Marilyn and brunette Jane in "Blondes". Playing the 'what if' game for a moment: imagine (with a slight plot shift)a young RITA MORENO as Jane Russell's Cuban 'half-sister' or 'cousin'? Just a little 'twist' like that would have added an element of thematic and visual tension that is missing in "Brunettes". OR... since the film was set in Europe, how about Gina Lolobrigida as Jane's Italian cousin, giving the movie added continental flair? Still... I say take "Brunettes" for what it is: a handsomely-mounted relic of Hollywood's last fling with pure, unadulterated fluff musicals! Put cotton in your ears and soak in the costumes and location shooting!

As the brunettes that gentlemen prefer to marry Jane Russell and Jeanne Crain at least got a working vacation in Paris. The cinematography of the city of lights is dazzling..

A rather thin plot with many flashback sequences and one dream sequence are packed into Gentlemen Marry Brunettes. Jane and Jeanne play themselves a pair of sister showgirls who are tired of the New York scene and go to Paris hoping to strike it big as their motherand aunt did back in the Roaring 20s.

One remnant of the 20s is in Paris. Rudy Vallee is there and he remembers the old sister act well. With his patronage and a rich secret admirer the new sister act hits it big.

They even pick up a couple of earnest courters, Scott Brady and Alan Young. t all ain't quite enough.

A bit more of a coherent story and Gentlemen Marry Brunettes would have been a classic.

That's the tune you'll be singing after the movie's over... and not because of it's catchy chords and great lyrics, I assure you...

This is the kind of movie that drives anyone to the brink of insanity... for it tries to cover all genres, and it flops in each and every one of them - it's not a good musical... the orchestrations are awkward, far from easy listening, and can manage to ruin even the most enchanting songs ever composed - 'My Funny Valentine', for instance, and 'Ain't Misbehaving', executed on a hilariously ludicrous 'cannibal african tribe' setting (!).

A good comedy...? No, I don't think so... the amusing lines uttered by Jeanne Crain can't solely carry a feature film... by the by, can anyone believe that those legs actually belong to darling youth, 'Margie'...? :)

A good romantic flick? Again, I doubt it... the romantic interludes are ridiculous, featuring Jane "The Girl That Can't Say No" Russell and Scott Brady, and Jeanne "Tough Gal" Crain and Alan "Filthy Rich Hiding Behind A Social Outcast Mask" Young...

A good drama? Only if your notion of drama is reduced to Scott Brady's supreme could shoulders aimed towards Jane Russell... :)

Well... all things considered, this is a plodding, mindless affair that has it's good moments, but is not to be compared to the classic 'Gentleman Prefer Blondes' in any way.