Robot Monster

ROBOT MONSTER is often heralded as the worst movie ever made, although I've seen plenty that are more boring than this zero-budget effort, which is enthusiastic if nothing else. The nutshell plot of the film sees a family struggling to survive in the aftermath of an apocalypse, where they're menaced by the titular alien.

The film features an anything-goes, shot-in-your-own-backyard feel which makes it hard to take seriously. I'm a huge fan of '50s sci-fi, but this has more in common with the dodgy offerings of Ed Wood than a real film. The acting is sub-par, the script even worse, and the attempts to enliven things by shoving in stock footage are simply helpless.

Things aren't quite so bad as all that, though. ROBOT MONSTER is a film that it's easy to laugh at, which counts for a lot, and Ro-Man is quite an entertaining menace...at least, he's highly amusing, whether it be his bizarre look or the way he talks in that portentous voice. As a movie, it's also very short, which makes things easier to take. Watch it as an unintentional comedy and you might even find yourself enjoying it.

Sure, this movie is bad. If, however, you have seen tons of movies, including tons of bad movies, you can appreciate just how bad this one is. This film is much more entertaining than any of the Ed Wood films I've seen. This is one of the best of the B classics. If you happen to watch this movie with altered brain chemistry, say you have a fever, it takes on a surrealistic vibrance that parallels a religious experience. every line of dialog has multiple hidden meanings and carry a tone you might associate with a divine manifestation. I felt like people from the future, or from another planet had gone back in time to make this film and bury it in the subconscious of our culture.

How can you approach a recent repeat viewing of a movie you first saw 20 years ago in a double feature with 'Plan 9 from Outer Space', which to this day is still the most joyous, funniest cinema experience you have ever had. Without these two films, I would never have been seduced by the wonderful Golden Turkey Awards books, nor started my secret, indulgent near obsession with enjoying bad movies.

And as bad movies go, Robot Monster is simply wonderful.

Its almost pointless to go about what is in store for the unwary viewer, except that they will encountering a cinematic experience they will still be talking about in 20yrs time. However, I cannot complete this review without mentioning my two most favourite magic moments.

The first magic moment is this wonderful scene at the grave of the recently buried little brat girl (who thankfully is terminated extremely efficiently by Ro-man). Suddenly, in the top left corner of the screen is this small dot. Which starts slowly getting larger and larger. You eventually realize it's a shirtless George Nader running to the graveside. George keeps jumping rocks and branches as he eventually makes his way to the grave. Keep running George. Eventually, he finally gets to the grave, to tell the parents that Ro-man has their adult daughter. At which point, he instantly collapses, and is immediately pronounced dead. The timing is so exquisite, you will rewind the film, just to see this wonderful setup and delivery, again and again.

The second magic moment is a touching piece of prose which I feel has been ignored by scientists / engineers around the world as a personal incantation when confronted with a crisis. Basically, Ro-man doesn't want to kill the girl because he is having 'strange feelings' towards her (much like the strange feelings my neighbors dog had for my leg when I visited a few days ago). Alas, his superior wants her (and everyone else) killed. We then have this lovely 'to camera' moment, when a creature, consisting of the body of a gorilla, and the head of a deepsea diving helmet plus antenna, laments to the viewer:

'I cannot, yet I must. How do you calculate that? At what point on the graph do must and cannot meet? Yet I must. But I cannot'.

If only Macbeth and Hamlet had consider life as deeply, they might not have died.

Robot Monster is definitely recommended viewing – just don't do it alone. Invite around your closest friends, and you will be bonded with enough 'But what about when …' experiences for the next two months. And how many modern films can claim to be able to do that.

I haven't seen that many classic bad movies, but Robot Monster is one of my personal favorites. It is simply hilarious to watch. The gorilla costume and diving helmet are so entertaining that one could enjoy the movie with the sound off. With the sound on, though, you get to appreciate the "acting." In all fairness, the music in this movie is actually pretty good, which contrasts from every other aspect of the movie. The stock footage that appears every so often is an unexpected treat. The mind-blowing plot twist at the end really finishes the movie with a bang. I hope that anyone who enjoys bad movies checks this one out...you will be rewarded. "If I were a HU-man, would she treat me like a HU-man?"

The first time I saw this, in the '60s, I managed to catch clips off of a late night Creature Feature that cut the crap out of the movie to insert commercials. Thus it made little sense. However, the images that I did see never left me and I have been haunted with the desire to see it again in its entirety. Over the years I managed to catch even more clips but never the entire movie. Nevertheless I was still intrigued by a certain something. Finally I just flat out bought the DVD.

I watched it twice in a row and discovered that this is really quite a little gem. When you finally realize what is going on (which I certainly won't tell you) it makes perfect sense in a 1953 flavor. The important thing to remember is that it is from a child's limited experience and point of view. Once that is realized it becomes great fun.

Perhaps the best part is Elmer Bernstein's score. It kind of does for this movie what Max Stein did for 'King Kong'. The mood is set. Things become a bit surreal and eerie. You become unbalanced. This is good because upon first viewing it throws you a curve and suddenly you aren't in Kansas anymore. How did this happen? It isn't explained until the end, but all at once we have stock footage of dinosaurs fighting(both actual lizards and stop-motion animated models) and a large armadillo walking through the scene. Why? It makes no sense....at first. It is certainly a bit upsetting to your reality though.

Then we discover that the entire word's population is gone with the exception of a handful of people because of Ro-man and ensemble taking over the world. As you know Ro-man is a guy in a gorilla suit sans gorilla head which is replaced by a goofy space helmet. He has a bubble machine (for some reason) and a communication device at the entrance of this cave. His mission is to kill off the rest of the remaining humans. Piece o cake? Nope. Crafty humans have accidentally figured a way to cloak their exact location.

The acting is not good but I have the strangest feeling it was completely on purpose to unbalance the viewer. The same holds true for much of the logic. But in the end that is OK when you discover what has really happened. As soon as that is revealed you will groan and wonder what you missed that might have explained this earlier in the film. No, you didn't miss anything. The movie leads you where it wants you to go and reveals nothing until it wants you to know. Then, if you're dedicated, you will watch it again and perhaps enjoy it much more like I did. I also discovered that while it is logically lame it is never flat out stupid. There really is a method to the filmmaker's madness here.

This movie is cheesy and cheap - it probably wouldn't have worked any other way. Because of Bernstein's music and some of the work by the sound department this movie can even raise your sense of unease. This is good! It doesn't try to scare the Hell out of you but tries to convey a story - which is somewhat interesting from a 1953 point of view.

Bottomline: I personally like this movie and will see it again. I think David Lynch should try a remake. It has some of the same qualities as some of his films for developing a sense of the surreal.

I give it a 4.