Untamed Women

Crammed with Lost-World-Women Clad in Loin-Cloths and Premium Hair and Make-Up.

Magnified Lizards and Assorted Creatures, some Stolen from "One Million Years B. C." (1940), an Angry Volcano, and a Tribe of "The Harry Ones", just Waiting to Kill, Rape, and Pillage.

The Girls are All Pretty and Pretty Willing to be Friendly with the Newly Arrived Soldiers, who had to Crash-Land During Battle.

There are Copious Amounts of Genre Cliches, Tropes, and Expectations.

The Strength of the Movie is the Fast-Pacing and some Clever Shots and Angles. It's Obvious some Effort went into Making this Movie Entertaining.

The Weakness is a Never-Shuts-Up, Brooklyn Dodgers Fan who Routinely Brings the Movie to a Cringe-Inducing Halt.

But Overall if You are Attracted to this Type of Thing, it will Not Disappoint.

There is Enough Eye-Candy Here to Satisfy and the Musical Score Ain't Bad.

It also Goes Against the Grain of the Usual "Happy Ending".

The Poster Version with the T-Rex is a Colorful, Classy B-Movie Classic.

Slightly Above Average and...

Worth a Watch.

Untamed Women (1952)

** (out of 4)

Officer Steve Holloway (Mikel Conrad) is picked up by the government adrift in a raft. He's been missing for many months and can't remember anything so a doctor (Lyle Talbot) gives him a serum that will bring his memory back and force him to tell the truth. Steven then tells the story of himself and three friends whose plane was forced down and they ended up in a raft and landed on an island. The island is ran by a group of women who date back to the Druids and they also have dinosaurs, an erupting volcano and a group of "Hairy Men" they must battle. Hal Roach must have made a killing selling off dinosaur footage from his 1940 film ONE MILLION B.C. because it has been featured in countless poverty row flicks including this one here. UNTAMED WOMEN has the reputation of being one of the worst movies ever made. There's no question that it's a very badly made movie but thankfully it's hammy enough to where you should be entertained (if you enjoy bad movies). There are some pretty memorable bad moments but the highlight of the entire film has to be the scene where one of men, suffering from issues with his mother, walks off into a forest where he gets attacked by a flesh-eating plant. His three buddies come to the rescue and just seeing how this scene plays out had me laughing out loud. Another funny sequence happens once the men are in the ocean on their raft. It's raining as hard as you can imagine yet the men's hair and clothes aren't even wet. I guess we can all give Michael Caine and JAWS: THE REVENGE a break now because the sequence here is even more pathetic. The performances are all pretty bland but the four male actors are at least entertaining enough and help draw you into the movie. The female performers were clearly hired for their looks and clearly not their acting ability. The dinosaur footage is all rather campy and there's some footage from a couple others movies but I couldn't identify which ones. Some of it might have been new because there's some stuff dealing with what looks like a large porcupine. The volcano footage at the end is yet more stock footage but at least it looks somewhat good. At 70-minutes we can be thankful that the film doesn't run too long as that's just about the right amount of time for a flick like this. Cult favorite Lyle Talbot appears in a few minutes worth a footage and he's always nice to see. UNTAMED WOMEN certainly isn't for those looking for art films but if you like cheap, generic genre movies then it's certainly got enough bad moments to be entertaining.

During WWII, the survivors of a successful, but ill-fated bombing mission wind up on an uncharted island. They're soon taken captive by the feral females of the title. Much tribal dancing ensues.

UNTAMED WOMEN is just about as absurd as any movie of its type could possibly be. For their part, the male soldiers spend a lot of their time trapped in a cave. That, or being hounded by "prehistoric monsters" (lizards and armadillos with rubber horns and / or fins glued onto their backs). None of which is very exciting. Luckily, our heroes are equipped with those pistols that never run out of bullets. They also have deep discussions about their lives. None of which is very interesting.

Just wait until the secret of the women's origin is revealed! The introduction of the "hairy men" adds to the hilarity!

So, pop the corn and intoxicate some friends. Schlock of this caliber is rare indeed...

As recalled by a concussed, possibly deranged, man found floating in a life-raft, a downed U. S. bomber crew drifted onto an uncharted volcanic island inhabited by primeval creatures and by comely women who were the descendants of ancient Druid refugees and whose menfolk had recently been eradicated by rampaging cavemen. The story is sketchy and ludicrous, and is largely an excuse to recycle special effects footage from 1940's 'One Million BC' (the source of 'dinosaur' footage in a plethora of B-movies and TV programs) as the men pointlessly trudge through the monster-infested wastelands before returning to their starting point (only to be threatened by 'One Million BC's exploding volcano, lava and rockslides). The 'untamed women' (or the 'dolls' as they are frequently referred to) are statuesque, perfectly coiffed epitomes of early '50's beauty and, of course, they immediately fall in love with the rugged American flyboys. Despite being a hold-over from a religion that faded away millennia ago, they speakith in a pseudo-Shakespearian English (verily, they soundith more like American Quakers than Elizabethans). No explanation is hazarded as to why the island is populated by antediluvian monsters and hirsute cavemen, so the women's diction is not the film's greatest mystery. The Americans include the usual Hollywood G. I. tropes, a wiseacre from Brooklyn, a farm-boy from Arkansas, etc and the script is essentially a series of clichés held together by occasional plot-driving sentences. No one would expect that acting ability was high on the list of prerequisites when casting the lovely Druidesses but the men are terrible (although they were probably up to the material they were given). For a film with an apparently negligible budget, the opening crash of the B17 is pretty well done (except for the scenes in the spartan cockpit) and the movie's ending is not as 'Hollywood' as I smugly anticipated. Unfortunately for young men in the 1950's, the heights of the 'sexy cave-women' genre would not be reached until Raquel Welch battled Mesozoic horrors in a fur-bikini in 'One Million Years BC' (the 1966 remake of the Hal Roach classic that provided the aforementioned saurian beasties) or when Victoria Vetri left her primordial two-piece at the side of the swimming hole in 1970's 'When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth'.

This movie's a variation on the "men-are-stranded-with-lost-civilization-of-sex-starved-women" theme. A WWII bomber is forced down in the ocean, and after paddling their raft for a few days, the surviving men come ashore on the usual uncharted island, which is ruled by a race of women descended from the Druids (!).

That's only the beginning of the fun, as the women are constantly pestered by "The Hairy Men", who are a bunch of actors dressed in animal skins and covered by fake hair. A few of the usual shots of lizards from "One Million Years B.C." are thrown in, there are battles with the "Hairy Men", and a volcanic eruption climax predictably ends the movie. The whole implausible story is told by Conrad in flashback to serious doctor Lyle Talbot and a nurse, who find the whole story a bit wild until "evidence" of its veracity is uncovered in the final shot.

This movie is entertaining due to its bizarre plot, laughable dialogue, and plentiful action sequences. There's nothing quite like it, to be sure, so watch with an open mind.

P.S.: Nomination for the movie's best line: "Ed, stand guard. Shoot anything with hair on it that moves!"