Coffins on Wheels

A crooked used-car dealer buys a wreck for $20, slaps some paint on it and sells to to Darryl Hickman. Its brakes fails almost immediately in this cautionary CRIME DOES NOT PAY short.

We see the dealer's "mechanic" fix the brakes using asbestos-covered paper, then another man complains about his car. This one goes to the police, who can do nothing save point out the flaws and useless "repairs" on his car; the contract says the car was sold "as is". When Hickman takes his brother and friends for an outing, however, it becomes more than a matter of money....



This MGM series told a lot of cautionary tales about rackets in its first few years. This is a pretty good one.

Maybe. It was a less cynical time. Plus the idea of a used car was relatively new. Ordinary people could only afford a car once the Model T's started coming off the line in 1908, and cars were built to last in those times.

So this episode in MGM's "Crime Does Not Pay" series is about racketeering used car salesmen. By racketeering I think that they just meant completely dishonest, because there seems to be no mob involvement. It opens with the dishonest salesman closing the deal on a car to an older fellow who needs the car to make deliveries and hold his job. The car breaks down shortly thereafter, and when the dealership tells him to get lost he goes to the police. Odd how the police department would have time to go over a bad used car with a consumer, but apparently here they do. The police mechanics tell the owner that the car was a former taxi and probably has over 200K miles on it. Examinations of the sales contract and the bill of sale don't hold any guarantees, so the police can do nothing in this case.

But then there are a couple of kids right out of an MGM family film screenplay that buy one of the lemon cars, and you just know this is going to end badly in a way that will get the criminals on the hook. You'd be right or else this would not be a "Crime Does Not Pay" entry.

A couple of things I took away from this. The introduction does not say that this scenario is exactly true. It is probably just representative of a number of actual cases. Also, why is everybody being raised by their grandparents in this short? The salesman who has a little daughter and buys the first lemon car looks like he is at least 50. The man who is the father of the teen who buys the second lemon car looks at least 60. Maybe the decade long depression the country had just come out of aged people badly, but it is very noticeable.

Still, a worthy entry in the MGM series if you are a fan.

Raymond Bailey is credited as "Ray the Lab Tech" but the actor in this short is definitely not the Raymond Bailey we all know as Mr. Drysdale.

During the scene where the faulty brakes are being examined in the garage there is a policeman standing behind the car that may possibly be Mr. Bailey but it is very difficult to tell.

Other parts of this short are quite interesting such as the older vehicles shown in the street scenes and the prices discussed as well as the dialog between the characters.

Seeing actors like Walter Baldwin, the original Barber on the Any Griffith Show, in his early days is also quite interesting.

This is a predictable short of the "Crime Does Not Pay" series. No surprises, but it does hold one's interest for the 15-20 minutes of the film. It also provides an historical perspective for our current consumer protection laws. This short is broadcast occasionally on TCM.

I was pretty happy as I watched "Coffins on Wheels", as several of the Crime Does Not Pay shorts preceding this one were pretty dull and preachy. This is because the great series took a bit of a nosedive when WWII began, as MGM began focusing less on organized crime and violence and more on topics like civic duty and patriotism. Yet, somehow, the series avoided these preachy topics and got back to their roots with "Coffins on Wheels".

This film is about unscrupulous used car dealers who buy unsafe cars and give them cosmetic changes to make them seem road-worthy. The jerks in this one have no trouble selling a teenager a car with faulty brakes and it ends up leading to a thrilling and bloody accident. But, as you'd expect with the series, the baddies get theirs in the end! It makes for a very exciting film--one that won't disappoint.

A few folks to look for in this one are a very young Darryl Hickman, the cowboy star Allan 'Rocky' Lane and Roy Gordon. Who is Gordon? Well in the films in this series, the films are introduced by some important government official. In this particular film, it's supposed to be Mr. Blake from the Department of Motor Vehicles, but like ALL the films he's just an actor!