God's Gift to Women

In this painfully drawn out bedroom farce, set in Paris, Frank Fay is miscast as the titular love object, a descendant of Don Juan, who is smitten with a young American in Paris (Laura LaPlante) but in order to win her must extricate himself from the tangled web of his long- term intrigues with a virtual harem of lovers (played by Joan Blondell, Margaret Livingston, a sadly underused Louise Brooks and others).

The set up is amusing and deftly staged by Michael Curtiz, but once the direction of the plot becomes clear it bogs down in long, boring and insultingly stupid gag sequences, one upon another, involving Fay's diagnosis with a potentially fatal illness; eventually the viewer can only long for this character's demise.

The fine lineup of female supporting players is wasted as are Charles Winninger as LaPlante's suspicious and protective father and Alan Mowbray as (what else?) the butler. Tyrrell Davis gets to wrap the whole thing up with a decadent chuckle, foreshadowing his even more unusual closing moment in "Our Betters" two years later.

Frank Fay's trademark casual banter works against him here because it only adds to the already sluggish pace.

"God's Gift to Women" is nowhere near a star turn for Louise Brooks. The movie belongs to Frank Fay, who was a popular Broadway star of light comedies at the time, and the first husband of Barbara Stanwyck. Casting the effeminate Fay as a Casanova was a stretch, but his delivery is quite funny in places. The plot line is pretty predictable stuff, but there's a sweet little twist in the final scenes.

Laura La Plante, a tall, rangy Missouri beauty, has the female lead. She successfully made the transfer from silents to talkies. La Plante is charming, and she is photographed to best advantage.

Tenth billing. This is what Hollywood did with Louise Brooks in the early 30s, even after she had made "Pandora's Box" and "Diary of a Lost Girl," the two German films which assured her immortality. But very few Americans had seen those movies at all in 1931, and those who had saw only heavily censored versions.

Very little has changed in Hollywood in the past nearly 80 years. Consider Adrien Brody, whose Oscar netted him Diet Coke commercials, and Halle Berry, whose Golden Boy landed her roles in screen gems such as "Gothika" and "Catwoman." Hollywood punished Louise Brooks for being an independent thinker. Yet she makes the most of her 4-5 minutes' screen time in "God's Gift to Women." As always, you simply can't take your eyes off her.

Frank Fay was recruited from Broadway by Warner Brothers to be built up into one of their early talkie stars, starting with his emcee role on "Show of Shows" in 1929. Most people really hate the job he does there, but you have to understand that Fay is kidding the audience in that film and in every film he does from that point on for Warners. The problem is, the audience didn't understand this and just found Fay annoying. Two years later he was out of a job as his wife Barbara Stanwyck's star continued to rise.

I actually like most of Fay's other films because I can see what he is trying to do with the roles, although I think Warner Brothers did him wrong and set him up to fail by trying to make him out to be irresistible to women in several of his roles. In Matrimonial Bed this wasn't too distracting, but here it is just annoying. Surrounded by beautiful women - including Joan Blondell and Louise Brooks, Fay - as Toto, the Romeo of Paris - becomes enamored of Diane Churchill (Laura La Plante) after just a brief meeting and a single dance. Even more annoying, Diane falls for Toto, although she admits to her father she doesn't understand the attraction - that definitely gives her something in common with the audience.

There are many good comic bits and wise cracks in the film, but it just doesn't hold together well at all. The catfight towards the end is well known as the best thing about the film, with all of Toto's women showing up at once to nurse him back to health after they hear he is ill.

The sad thing is, you can tell Fay knows he is finished in films at this point. He looks thin and gaunt here compared to Matrimonial Bed made just a year earlier. The story is he began to drink heavily when he realized he wasn't going over with audiences, and his wife's success in Hollywood just made matters worse. It is rumored that "A Star is Born" was based on the Fay/Stanwyck marriage, and I wouldn't be surprised if that is true.

This one lacks any kind of coherence. Look at it as one long vaudeville act and you'll likely come away more satisfied.

Frank Fay is horribly miscast in this film, which is about a lothario who falls in love with a sweet young woman (Laura LaPlante). He has absolutely zero screen presence, so making him a descendant of Don Juan who is "god's gift to women" is laughable, and he exacerbates things with a dopey performance, slurred lines, and mispronunciations of names like Monet, Rodin, and Paleozoic. (And I say this not biased over the person he was in real life, the reading of which made me feel bad for Barbara Stanwyck). The film alludes to adultery with several married women carrying on flings with his character without being weirdly punished or judged, nice fodder for a pre-Code film, but it doesn't do nearly enough with this.

To be honest, it's only watchable for the brief appearances of Louise Brooks and Joan Blondell, who liven things up considerably just after the 40 minute mark. You see, Fay's character has been told he must avoid women because of a heart condition, and that if he wants to live, he "must follow the tranquil existence of an oyster." Blondell shows up in a tight dress to nurse him back to health. As she's changing into something more comfortable in the next room (cut to a long shot of her in long black lingerie), Louise Brooks shows up to do the same (and yes, cut, to her flaunting her legs while changing). Blondell climbs on top of him to get him to stay down in a bed a couple of times, a third girlfriend (Yola d'Avril) enters, and eventually the three women get into a giant catfight on the bed, legs a-flailing. It's damn silly but of course the best part of the film - and I say that with no offense to LaPlante, who looks cute in her smart haircut and does what she can opposite Fay, who's a limp noodle.

While Blondell was just about to go on a tear in the early 1930's, the film was made at a sad point in Brooks' career. As Kenneth Tynan described it in "Lulu in Hollywood," in 1930 Brooks had gone back to Hollywood, but when she met with Columbia executive Harry Cohn, each time he appeared naked from the waist up. He writes, "Always a plain speaker, he left her in no doubt that good parts would come her way if she responded to his advances. She rebuffed them, and the proffered contract was withdrawn." If you look at the steep dropoff in Brooks' filmography, with this dog of a film one of only three she made in 1931 (and one of the other two a short), it's clear why she went back to New York and almost completely dropped out of the business. Enjoy seeing her here, in a talkie - and notice that while some of the other women in the cast have the hairstyle she made famous, she sports a different look. Otherwise, if you're not a fan of Brooks or Blondell, this is one to skip.

Of the six or so films Frank Fay made under his early-talkie Warner contract, half wasted time presenting him as some sort of great lover. Battling this concept takes effort and a lapse in sense, not only by the audience, but by the casts of these pictures. This is especially true of THE MATRIMONIAL BED, is less a problem in BRIGHT LIGHTS, but might have reached the ludicrous in GOD'S GIFT TO WOMEN if not for the sensational women involved. Cast as a descendant of Don Juan (annoyingly called "Toto"), it is a testament to the female talent that there is still a lot of fun to be had despite the fact that Frank Fay seldom shut's his mouth. Though the script hardly gives anyone a chance, Fay's incessant chattering "style" is only matched once, when the savvy Joan Blondell fairly bursts into the man's boudoir -- a brief example of sophisticated bedroom farce. This sequence is followed by another gem, a most unexpected three-way battle over Fay; a sexy brawl taking place atop his bed involving ALL QUIET/WESTERN FRONT'S buxom Yola D'Avril, Miss Blondell, and the legendary and stunningly gorgeous Louise Brooks. Yes, Louise was thrown to the dogs in talking pictures, but here is one time (albeit sans bangs) where she looked and sounded sensational for the few moments we were allowed to see her. Nice moments, too, by perfectly capable, delightful silent players: SUNRISE vamp Margaret Livingston, who turns up to give leading lady Laura La Plante a rough moment. La Plante is lovely, and fully up to the challenge of sound comedy. Though hams abound, Alan Mowbray (as the butler), Tyrell Davis (managing to out-fey even Frank Fay), and the fabulous if underused Charles Winninger manage quite effectively. Merely in it for Louise Brooks (and I can't say as I blame you)? Advance to the bedroom romp, but watch the women cavort throughout the opening nightclub sequence -- there are enough glimpses to satisfy. Watch for the beautiful twins from Universal's KING OF JAZZ, the "Sisters G," both of whom are coiffed in what seems to be Louise Brooks' old hairstyle.