Alerte aux banques

Bank Alarm is a pretty straightforward, pull no punches actioner that pits a married (nice!) couple of a G-Man and (yes) G-Woman, against a counterfeit money ring. The bad guys you see, popped the counterfeiter of the money they are planning to distribute. (thanks to the descriptions of 5! Count em! 5! Newspaper headlines we get to see), The G-People, as I like to call them, methodically step by step, follow the pieces of the puzzle until the end until it's somewhat predictably conclusion. Actually, this is so straightforward, there's hardly any suspense happening, But still, it does have it's moments, but I could have done away with the lame comedy bits provided by Vince Barnett.

Clean-cut Conrad Nagel has a quick smile and ready wit as a federal agent on the trail of a pair of bank robbers whose brief stay in a small-town jail provides them with the perfect alibi when the local bank is robbed. A routine low-budget programmer that will fade quickly from the memory. The obligatory comic relief character - a clumsy photographer named Bulb - is particularly irritating.

I am a life-long lover of 'B' movies, especially those from the 30's but this one is so inept I'm amazed it wasn't shelved into oblivion.

Being a low-budget job is no excuse for the dreadful writing, non-existent direction, the camera shots that simply don't match, the poor editing, the always-smiling or laughing performances... and the pathetically acted 'funny-man' who provides the foil for the Thin Man-like leads in place of the latter's dog...

Believe me, the dog did better.

Bank Alarm... by the way, despite being mentioned in the opening scene, has absolutely nothing to do with alarms, and actually very little to do with banks...!

There is only ONE scene in the film worth mentioning, set in a jail... which I won't spoil for you... and that's it...!

There are hundreds of films of this genre and period, and 10 minutes from any one of them will provide more satisfaction than this entire film. Trying to defend this rubbish by saying it's 'low-budget' and a 'B-movie' is grossly insulting to all the good (even excellent) films in this category.

Even if you just like slapstick, and are under 9-years-old you can do better than this.

Such a disappointment.

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Conrad Nagel is trying to get a line on a gang of gangsters. Can he figure out the connection between Carelli's night club and all the BANK ALARMs going off in Southwest, or will he be stymied by his really stupid photographer sidekick?

This snooze of a B-movie has all the stuff you expect in a B. A really dumb sidekick. A police force worthy of Mack Sennett. A smooth talking super genius as lead detective, who suavely insults the buffoons leading the local police force. And a gangster named Corelli. The one thing it does not have is a compelling plot, since the scriptwriters decided to go for a rather bland police procedural plot, where the villains and the plot developments are easy to guess. The result is one of those under 60 minute movies that feels like a three hour epic. The only thing noteworthy is how genuinely awful the comic relief is, and how much of the running time is wasted on it. Nagel, at least, does not humiliate himself with a lousy performance, but that is the only good thing here.

Nobody should waste their time on this movie.

On the silent screen and the early sound era Conrad Nagel was a major star working with such people as Greta Garbo and Norma Shearer. But by 1937 he was in the minor leagues working at Grand National Studios and starring in a series where he plays G-man named Alan O'Connor.

In this film Bank Alarm Nagel is working on a series of bank robberies and since the New Deal and Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation bank robbery is now a federal crime. It's what J. Edgar Hoover's agency did its best work.

But there's another wrinkle here as someone is attempting to change serial numbers to make the loot untraceable. By dumb luck he changes a bill and makes a serial number the same as one in Nagel's hands. The second wrinkle is that Nagel's sister is actually being romanced by one of the gang.

Vince Barnett plays a photographer and Nagel's sidekick. I might have shot the guy on general stupidity grounds. What was kind of touching in Scarface did not work at all in Bank Alarm for Barnett.

Conrad Nagel must have wished for the arms of Greta Garbo once more.