The Midwife

Omg was not sure about this at first but was good so many twists I got confused but it makes it a great film. Something different!! About time !!

The thing that makes pregnant horror films scary is how relatable they are. Pregnant women are beautiful. They glow with anticipation but they are protectively cautious. They don't just let some random woman who shows up claiming to be a midwife, come into their home, start taking their medical advice and consume medications given to them by this unknown person.

I'm sorry but nothing about this made much sense to me. I say pass.

This is one of those films that I almost feel bad writing about, because it's so awful that there is literary nothing good to say about it. Not only is it amateurish in every aspect (the soap opera cinematography, the acting, the direction, the absurd script...) but it's just a torture to sit through. (Only the "Holy Trinity" of Luna manages to do a worse job with a much bigger budget. Look for María Lidón if you want to know what I mean). It seems to be some kind of crowdfunding and I really feel sorry for the people that were illusioned with the project, because the end result is like an assignment from a cinema school, but instead of being a short is a feature. At least one thing that the movie helps illustrate is how important is to have a good sound editing company for your films, even if they are really low-budget. It was impossible for me with this terrible sound mixing to achieve a suspension of disbelief and feel as though this was a real movie.

With a promising start, I waited for it to make sense. I watched the whole film. You think you are gettng to the point of the plot on numerous occasions and then it stops and goes somewhere else entirely. Only one actress/actor comes out with any credit here. That is Lara Goodison, the lead character Lissie, all others were mediocre, school play quality.

If I judged this film without Lissie/Laura I would have lowered my rating further.

Charlie and Lissie are expecting their first child. For some unknown reason, they have a young woman living with them. It is said that she is a tenant, but she lives there the same way the couple do. She is with them constantly, watching tv, eating together, offer relationship advice, ,acts like an annoying sister.

Out of nowhere, a woman who claims to be a midwife comes to their door, offering medicine to drink and acts snobbish and strange (not in a horror way, but more in a "no one would say that" way)

I love horror, I love pregnant horror movies, and being Scandinavian, I love British movies. Still, this was a mess of a movie. No horror, nothing scary, nothing remotely unsettling, not even one jump scare. No shadows, no ghosts, no apparitions, nothing. Its not chilling, its just fricking weird. People act and speak like they are in a school play in the seventies.

The "twist" is not one, and the reason for the man and female tenant sneaking out and around is painfully obvious.