Star Trek: Section 31

This isn't just the worst Star Trek Movie; it is also the worst Star Trek based show in the Star Trek Universe.

The story is weak, the acting is terrible, there aren't enough expletives to express how poor the overall satisfaction rating is.

I'm genuinely trying to not include any spoilers in this review, there's also a part of me that wants to, just to spare you (dear reader) the pain of having to endure what I just did, which was this tragedy.

Having said all that, if you have absolutely nothing to do; and I mean absolutely nothing, then why not put this on whilst you ebd up playing on your phone instead.

Paramount announced a Section 31 Star Trek series several years ago. All about the amoral secret black ops division of Starfleet.

It would be a starring vehicle for Michelle Yeoh who plays genocidal Empress Philippa Georgiou in the mirror universe. She somehow ended up in Starfleet where she was the captain of the USS Discovery that got killed.

Once Yeoh won the best actress Oscar, the plans for the series went. Paramount retooled it as an one off film, maybe a recurring franchise.

This is a cheap knockoff Mission Impossible/Dirty Dozen/Suicide Squad hybrid. The

Section 31 members and former Philippa Georgiou look for a stolen doomsday weapon called the Godsend. There may also be a saboteur in the team.

The film is bogged down by a lazy plot. The most uninspiring members of the black ops team. Their introduction and attempts at humour was so ham fisted, I nearly switched off.

What did I just watch, took me 3 attempts to force myself to watch this tat!

I'm sure Michelle was paid well and good for her, but this was quite a weak showing for her, really phoning it in.

Rest of the "gang" all trying to have banter like like Guardians. But none of the "humour" lands, if it is humour. All quite generic, with little to no character or any development or growth.

Story was written by a child that's had little experience of life and has only heard 3rd hand about Star Trek, as even for nuTrek has little to no feeling of proper Star Trek. Story is shallow, weak and paint by numbers. Guessed most story line within 1st 20 mins. Then had to slog through it.

Such a huge waste of money and resources, from those who pretend to care about the environment.

Kurztman whoes me an hour n half of my life back. The untalented hack.

I've just wasted 1:35:12 of my time watching something that should not be graced with the Star Trek name. The Section 31 of DS9 and Discovery has been camped up and made into a laughing stock. The plot was at best, paper thin and predictable. The characters were woefully shallow. The whole thing has sullied the Star Trek franchise and cast a dark shadow over the excellent series like Discovery, DS9, OST, and TNG. Who's ever idea this was needs to publish an apology to those of us who grew up with James T Kirk and watched every series through to Michael Burnham.

What makes matters worse is I sat through this train wreck until the end. The only thing I can hop that there are no plans for a sequel.

I can see this movie being passable if it'd just been a standalone movie not attached to the Star Trek brand. It still wouldn't have been good, but a lot of the problems with it wouldn't have stood out as much. It would have just been another generic straight-to-streaming slop movie.

As it is, this sucked. It didn't do anything interesting with the setting, it didn't have a story that could only be told in a Star Trek setting, and it didn't even do all that much with Section 31 as an idea. I'm glad this was never a full season of TV, as was originally planned, because eight hours of this would have been a nightmare.

The nicest thing I can say about this is that at least it's short. 95 minutes is a good length for what this was. At least nobody felt the need to drag it out to two hours, which happens too often with movies nowadays.