Moist Meter

The moistness of the moist meter is not to be overstated. The quenching moistness that emnates from Charlie, The Mogul of Moist, Keanu the second, the premature ejaculation of Christ is almost as hallucinant as his height.

The moist meter stands just behind his musical contributions with famous auteur and rap(p)er Riley Reid as his magnum opus. Leaving a legacy has laid the foundations for both his acting career as the protagonist of the John Wick franchise, and his role as a stunt double for Katniss Everdeen in The Hunger Games.

We first start off meeting our main hero, Charlie (MostCr1tikal) the forgotten cousin of Jesus. He has got to be the sexiest man alive, at the optimal perfect height of 5'6". One day Charlie had to go to the grocery store (Walmart) to get some food for his massive Chad party the next day. But he ended up running into the famous Walmart Karen, his archnemisis. This story is a very exciting one, from Charlie's hip shakes, to Karen condemning him to hell while dancing in Walmart. I'll stop giving you the good parts so you can see it for yourself in the theaters on 4/20/69. This is the greatest movie of all time.

To much Jesus cosplaying as of late, but otherwise very good

... and you will too. The moist meter is there peak of reveiw series, the cream of the crop, the reveiw series that makes panties drop. Our Lord and savior, Big Moist measures the moisture content of the latest movies and games. Big Moist uses state of the art moisture measuring technology developed in unknown regions of foregn lands to ensure that wetness is properly and accurately measured to quench our thirst for the dankest forms of entertainment. If you're reading this Big Moist, I just want you to know I wrote this review while pooping and thinking of you.

Why watch a Quibi when you can watch Moist Meter? I mean the man, the myth, the legend behind it is Charlie White for gods sake. What more could you want?