Frozen Sasquatch

Okay, I will say up front, that I like bigfoot movies, low(er) budget movies, and cult classics like Shriek of the Mutilated, which (until now) was one of the cheaper entries into the genre, Frozen Sasquatch is just awful. Nothing about it is good - acting, costumes (looks like Friday casual, at the store-front, income tax clinic where they filmed this movie, locale (income tax clinic or someone's back yard), monster costume, dialogue, and what is supposed to pass for special effects (a TikTok. Snow filter. The dialogue is funny, not like humorous, just so bad it makes you laugh, as it is not even at a remedial middle school level. The movie is supposed to take place in the Himalayas,, which look surprisingly like a flat area of California in the summer time. The intrepid explorers climbing to the remote mountain research lab (it would have been easier to built this vast office building down lower) wear polo shirts and khakis. Despite the constantly falling snow (courtesy of a filter) there is no snow on the ground, ever, and you wouldn't even know it was cold, except the cast keeps talking about it. The monster effects are bad. So bad you can't describe them, except one of them has what looks like a fake weave glued to the actors face to look like fur, and those fake plastic, stick on, Halloween finger nails that wrap around your fingertip. This movie is 100 times worse than Plan 9, Creeping Terror, Bride of the Monster, or any other "worst movie of all time" contender. Even watching it for free online makes me want to ask for a refund.

Mark Polonia and David Sterling bring you this fun monster movie about a team of scientist looking for a Sasquatch!

FROZEN SASQUATCH is a different approach about the legend of the Yeti. A group of Scientists hunt and capture a yeti and bring to a secret lab where they probe and discover what makes it tick. An experimental serum is made which makes the Sasquatch grow to an enormous size and more deadly. There thirst for blood grows also. Three scientist are dispatched to find out what's going on. When at the lab carnage is found and one scientist is left alive to help unravel the mystery of the Yeti. Slowly the innocent scientist starts getting her bearings and along with a computer with all data and info of the experiments they find out what is going on. Character actor Jeff Kirkendall and all around fun person lends his talents as one of the scientist experimenting on these legendary creatures. This is not another Sasquatch on a rampage movie, but a movie with more development focused on the Sasquatch and its origins. It's not what you expect and will be surprised. I like Mark Polonia movies he pays homage to classic flicks and applies a 70's feel to them. He does not take himself seriously and in turn gives us entertaining fun movies. I always look forward to his movies and never feel disappointed. Along with his partner in Crime the ever present David S. Sterling I look forward to many more movies in this tradition. The movie is available on Amazon Prime and worth a viewing.

Director Mark Polonia Starring: Titus Himmelberger, James Carolus, Nicholas Olsen, Tim Hatch, Marty Becke, Mark Polonia, David S. Sterling, Jamie Morgan, Jeff Kirkendall, Steve Diasparra, Natalie Hallead, and Noyes Lawton

Frozen Sasquatch

This was a solid Polonia film with a superb script, excellent filming locations and cinematography and the usual lackluster talentless cast. Am I really supposed to believe that Jeff Kirkendall and James Carolous are scientists? Okay I'm not going to do my usual rant on those two (even though they've earned it). But Jamie Morgan? Really??? She is awful in everything she's ever been in!

Noyes Lawton was the star of this film. This was the first time I had seen him in a main role and he did not disappoint. He steals every scene he's in and makes up for his cast mates lack of talent. He has a screen presence reminiscent of the great Ken VanSant. Natalie Hallead (Himmelburger) was a pretty solid female lead who may be a future Polonia star. This was one of Titus Himmelburgers better performances but was still pretty bad.

Overall solid plot and highly entertaining.

I would ask Mr. Polonia to start holding casting calls for local raw talent for his future movies. There is a strong local fan base and I'm sure many fans would love to be in one of his films. I'd imagine they'd can't be worse then some of the people he's already casting. These films are border line gems but you can't find a shiny gem if it's being covered by turds like Kirkendall/Carolous/Morgan

Right, well had I known this was a Mark Polonia movie, I would indeed have given it a wide berth. However, I wasn't aware of that after having watched it, and thus I suffered through a most horrible movie here.

Sure, I wasn't really expecting a whole lot from a movie with the title "Frozen Sasquatch", but still opted to watch it on account of it might being such a bad low budget creature feature that it would be a fun movie to watch. But it was not. No, "Frozen Sasquatch" was just downright an abysmal movie.

The storyline, as written Billy D'Amato, is pretty straightforward. It is not really all that bad, but the execution of the movie made it bad.

Needless to say that I wasn't familiar with a single actor or actress on the cast list. And it should be noted that the acting performances in "Frozen Sasquatch" were frozen, wooden, rigid and just hands down poor. That just didn't help to elevate the movie one bit.

The movie is supposed take place in the Himalayas, yet it looks and feels like it was shot on location in Wisconsin. You don't believe that the people are trekking through the Himalayas for one second. And the poorly added CGI snow just didn't help make it any more believable.

The music in the movie is pretty atrocious. But hey, at least it matches the rest of the movie in that account.

And the constant snarling that the sasquatch made, would effectively make it a very ineffective predator. It was just so laughably bad.

I love how they credited a guy for "Creature Design", when it was just someone wearing a fur suit and an inarticulate and inanimate monkey's mask. The creature design in this movie was so laughably poor.

Do yourself a favor and stay well clear of "Frozen Sasquatch". It just simply isn't worth the time, effort or money.

My rating of director Mark Polonia's 2018 movie "Frozen Sasquatch" lands on a one out of ten stars.

Please Mr. Polina Bros, stop making films. Just stop. Get on indeed and find an office job.

Please never touch a camera again.

One question, where do you find your actors? Community Theater or friends and family?

God damn this was bad. Does Amazon actually pay you to feature this.

So it is snowing all the time but nothing on the ground? God Damn dude!

It is the same ape/sasquatch costume every time. What was the budget...$25k.... god damn. You spent $300 on a Party Central rental.

Please stop making movies. Calling oneself a filmmaker is just lying to yourself. God damn this was bad. Just stop.