Frozen Sasquatch

Right, well had I known this was a Mark Polonia movie, I would indeed have given it a wide berth. However, I wasn't aware of that after having watched it, and thus I suffered through a most horrible movie here.

Sure, I wasn't really expecting a whole lot from a movie with the title "Frozen Sasquatch", but still opted to watch it on account of it might being such a bad low budget creature feature that it would be a fun movie to watch. But it was not. No, "Frozen Sasquatch" was just downright an abysmal movie.

The storyline, as written Billy D'Amato, is pretty straightforward. It is not really all that bad, but the execution of the movie made it bad.

Needless to say that I wasn't familiar with a single actor or actress on the cast list. And it should be noted that the acting performances in "Frozen Sasquatch" were frozen, wooden, rigid and just hands down poor. That just didn't help to elevate the movie one bit.

The movie is supposed take place in the Himalayas, yet it looks and feels like it was shot on location in Wisconsin. You don't believe that the people are trekking through the Himalayas for one second. And the poorly added CGI snow just didn't help make it any more believable.

The music in the movie is pretty atrocious. But hey, at least it matches the rest of the movie in that account.

And the constant snarling that the sasquatch made, would effectively make it a very ineffective predator. It was just so laughably bad.

I love how they credited a guy for "Creature Design", when it was just someone wearing a fur suit and an inarticulate and inanimate monkey's mask. The creature design in this movie was so laughably poor.

Do yourself a favor and stay well clear of "Frozen Sasquatch". It just simply isn't worth the time, effort or money.

My rating of director Mark Polonia's 2018 movie "Frozen Sasquatch" lands on a one out of ten stars.

Yes, Dear God No, the title of yet another horrid "Sasquatch"movie that does perfectly describe my feelings for this. While this "movie" is nothing more than a nice huge steaming pile of Triceratops Poo, I would highly recommend this to aspiring filmmakers as a how not to make a movie.

Let me start with the thing I hate the most. Don't lie to your audience! The "poster art" is nothing but one HUGE lie. Nothing on there, is in this!! Not even a Frozen Sasquatch!!!!

If you can't shoot your film in a snowy location, DON'T SHOOT A MOVIE SET IN A SNOWY LOCATION!! Here are some titles that would have been better...... National Park Sasquatch......Orchard Sasquatch......Down and Out on Green Hills Sasquatch.

Did anyone do ANY research on the Himalayas? I've been there during their spring, and I promise you that you would not find rolling green hills where you would need to find a Yeti. Did you at least watch Expedition Unknown, Josh Gates has done several shows there, I'm just saying.

Props go out to Natalie, we didn't get the Himalayan Mountains, but we did get hers. All joking aside, she was the only bright spot in this. The two male co-stars where more robotic than R5-D4.

Speaking of Star Wars, they should have opted for one of those $300 Chewbacca costumes.

I am an Amazon Prime member, so this is how I was able to view this. I've watched a lot of bad movie with Prime, a lot of bad Sasquatch movies. I hate to admit it, but Sexquatch was more entertaining than this.

After losing contact with a base, a team from a pharmaceutical company travels to the site in the Himalayas looking for answers only to find the cause to be the research teams' discovery of an enraged Bigfoot running wild in the facility and must hold off its attacks to escape alive.

This was a decidedly weak and unimpressive effort. One of the more detrimental factors here is the weak and uninspired storyline that wastes a golden opportunity for some fun by going for an entirely cliche and predictable route. The idea of going to a remote location where they've lost contact with a facility in the area only to meet up with a creature on the loose being studied there no one knew about since no one told them about it simply reeks of being routine here. You get an idea where this is going almost immediately and that makes for a wholly underwhelming experience when the few times this one goes for its main setups instead it devolves into overly familiar executions. As well, a big problem here is the low-budget effects. The CGI is used far too often here, as the snow falling continuously throughout their trek to the base is laughably overlaid on top of the footage of them wandering through the woods which is so obviously and not in the Himalayas as no attempt is made to hide this location or the fake-looking snowfall. The burning fire-pit is equally fake-looking and the scenes set in the laboratory where children's paintings of the yeti are used as schematics while red pain substitutes for blood-splatter for a slew of issues here. Likewise, with them having to stumble upon major events after the fact with only sound effects heard, there's a lot involved here that gives away it's low-budget nature. However, even with all that featured here, there are major problems with the creature attacks here when they do occur. Not only is the scraggly, lumpy costume completely laughable without even touching on the cringe-worthy mask that doesn't even come close to fitting one of the tiniest actors to portray the creature, but it also makes the entire look goofy and utterly comical. The attacks here are incredibly cheesy as well, requiring the creature to emerge from various hiding places or corridors unseen until the last second resulting in some really underwhelming scenes like the surprise in the hallway, an attempted shock in the communications room further ruined by the slow-motion photography and a nonsensical bathroom encounter that's rather silly. These here are what hold this one down as there are a few decent elements to this one. They get plenty of mileage out of the constant scenes of the creature running loose in the facility here resulting in a fun, enjoyable pace. From the opening sequence showing the creature taking out the old crew before being buried in the avalanche, the early shots of the different members of the group out in the woods being stalked and the attacks by the creature in the facility where it has them trapped leading to a series of chases which give this a really endearing cheesy charm. This is present in the finale with all the revelations and action taking place here which have a goofy sense here and are what makes this one quite fun.

Rated Unrated/R: Graphic Violence and Graphic Language.

To start: I believe Bigfoot exists. I am an avid watcher of all movies, documentaries.

Bigfoot. When I came across this film and read the story-line, I thought cool, sounds good. This film, as cool as the poster looks, is anything but. Everything from the lame, fake snow to the wooden acting to the cheesiest, most idiotic looking Sasquatch I have ever seen, is just horrible. The only plus this film has is the premise of the story has potential if someone who has the knowledge, fortitude and a good budget, could make a fantastic film. But alas, I can only give it 1 star.

From Himalayas that look more like my backyard than anywhere near Nepal to special effects that were dated a decade ago to a script and acting that was rejected from a bad video game, nearly everything about the film was done poorly. Scratch that- "poorly" is too kind a word.

But in that, we can find humor. It's so bad, it's good. If you like riffing films, this movie is a goldmine.