Scarecrow's Revenge

Growing up in a rural farming community, it doesn't take much to understand why I am drawn to Scarecrow Horror even though it's rarely even half as good as the 80s TV horror film with Larry Drake (Dark Night of the Scarecrow) it isn't even on par with horror-action-hybrid Scarecrows from 1988, hell you'd be better off watching Jeff Burr's Night of the Scarecrow or the heartfelt ode to a lost sibling in Mark Polonia's HalloweeNight but here I am, logging Bride of Scarecrow from UK's female "Charlie Band" filmmaker Louisa Warren who has a string of films about Scarecrows, Leprechauns and tooth fairies which as I type it...that sounds great! But the movies are....not great!

A couple points for the concept, which appeals to my cheesy B-movie loving heart. On paper, it sounds great: vikings VS scarecrows! What's not to love? Mixing genres and giving slasher movies a new setting could've been a real plus.

One extra point for the witch lady, whose "acting" makes her seem like she could really use an exorcism.

Otherwise, this is pretty dull, with an elongated and frankly boring opening stalk-a-thon that evaporated my hopes for this being any fun right away.

What were have here is a movie that looks like a bunch of friends were trying to find uses for their ren faire costumes, but also happened to have a scarecrow getup lying around that they didn't want to go to waste.

The result is a movie about a group of unconvincing "vikings" being picked off slasher-style by a shambling scarecrow. Kinda makes you wonder how these guys managed to do any conquering when a really slow dude in rags can take out them out so easily, but hey.

Nowhere near as amusing as the silly premise made me hope.

This is based on my opinion tbh. I bought this movie a few months ago, I didn't have time until now so I popped it in and I watched like 10 minutes of it and immediately took it out cause it was so bad! The actors and actresses showed no expressions of terrified what so ever, the killer scarecrow did a terrible job jumpscaring and wasn't that scary and the witch's face was bad editing.

I can forgive having vikings with accents from multiple countries. I can even forgive the countless historical inaccuracies. I don't even mind that all the swords had round ends. But I can't forgive the terrible writing, acting and action. The fight scenes were the worst I have ever seen. I also can't overlook that they couldn't even come close to matching the color of blood. Did I mention at one point you can see an airplane trail in the sky? The costumes and dialogue were so inaccurate that I would have never even guessed that they were vikings. Luckily, they mention that they are vikings every 30 seconds. And they are not savages. I gave it 2 stars because sadly, I have seen worse. I definitely wouldn't recommend this movie to anyone.

In 804 AD men did not have wrist watch tan lines and clothing labels flopping about the neck of their Pier One tunics. Also, chrome hadn't been invented yet much less wired telephone poles. Don't even get me started on the cars you can see through the trees and the constant thrum of traffic just yards away.