Jurassic World: Le monde d'après

When I go to a Jurassic Park movie, I want something above all else-hyper realistic dinosaurs in cool environments, seeing them frolic in natural habitat, defend territory, battle other dinos for dominance, hunt humans, and the like. From the opening island scene with the brachiosaurus to the T-Rex reveal in the rainstorm, dinosaurs were front and center in the original Jurassic Park, inspiring a sense of grandeur and awe. The dinosaurs were what mattered, and everything else was peripheral-even the plot to get off the island. We all wanted another glimpse of the T-Rex, or were anxious to discover where the raptors were lurking.

So that was the first one. Now in this sixth installment, not only are dinosaurs relegated to a commercialized product that's seen on every tv screen in the movie, but they're demoted below the humans, genetics, and even mutated locusts in terms of importance. In a two and a half hour movie, one would expect dinosaurs to fill almost half that time, and yet they pale in screen time comparison to all the human characters. Instead, the director tried to insert cameos of the legacy characters in forced interactions and honestly cringey dialogue, shifting the focus away from the real meaning in the Jurassic Park franchise-awe for dinosaurs. The wonder is now gone.

I have given it five stars in respect for the franchise and the limited appearances of some of my favorite dinosaurs, but I'm sad to see that the director forgot what made Jurassic Park so special in the first place.

Before I went to this film (because my Grandson is nuts about this series of films) I read one newspaper review. It wasn't glowing, but it was positive. Unfortunately, this is a mess. Others have already talked about the issues I have. Granted, this is an empty headed summer movie, it could still have been done with some serious thought. I was hanging in there throughout with a new dinosaur attack every three minutes, and velociraptors going at fifty miles per hour and not getting tired. Humans being assaulted time after time and yet showing no fatigue. I also didn't see a scratch on any of them. But the best of all was the promise made to a baby dinosaur and his mother that precluded saving the world from famine. Not to mentioned the coincidences of everyone showing up in just the right places. I still don't understand how they got into that facility so easily. The return of the original cast was not helpful other than Jeff Goldblum's sarcasm. Anyway, it's all been said. This is a poor movie.

This movie was so utterly predictable it was a little painful. Luckily the nostalgia nods were sprinkled throughout and mostly not forced. You can tell they tried to have some funny one-liners which fell flat a lot of the time. They need to take some notes from Marvel on those. The CGI and action was as good as you'd expect and offered favorable intensity. The story itself was somewhat lazy IMO. Did I mention it was totally predictable? I left the theater going...meh.

I will say this for Colin Trevorrow: unlike other Hollywood writers/directors, who seem to be actively spiteful towards the classic sagas they are writing sequels to, when Trevorrow says he is a fan of Jurassic Park, I believe him.

That's why Jurassic World Dominion feels, for good and for ill, like the world's most expensive fan film, cramming in nearly every dinosaur known to man and every character, meme and in-joke from the previous five movies (button up your shirt, Malcom! Get your hat, Grant! Oh look, Nedry's old Barbasol can!).

I'm betting that if the great Pete Postlethwaite had not passed away we would have gotten Roland Tembo rappelling from a helicopter to shoot an Oviraptor in the face.

The movie is at least twenty minutes too long - Hollywood seems incapable to make a non-bloated blockbuster today, even Bond movies have the running time of The Thin Red Line - and it doesn't have a shred of the wit and intelligence of my beloved first Jurassic Park, but I did like a few set-pieces (the Therizinosaurus, the frozen lake...) and it's always nice to see the awesome Sam Neill back, so I guess the fan bait worked to an extent.

5,5/10.

If I were to list out all the things this movie focuses on, dinosaurs would be fifth or sixth, behind multiple storylines that range from bland to useless. I'm baffled by how little focus is on dinosaurs. And I don't just mean they are barely onscreen. The original Jurassic Park barely had any for the first hour. But everything leading up to that, the story, dialogue and themes, were all focused on dinosaurs.

That's not the case with Dominion. The majority of the storylines are tangentially related at best, completely unrelated at worst. Imagine watching Taken but Liam Neeson has to watch out for dinosaurs... that's one storyline. You could replace dinosaurs with any scary creatures and it would make little difference to the plot.

On top of that, they did a poor job of balancing so many storylines with different characters. Or maybe it's because every single one is uninteresting. And the moment when the different characters come together falls completely flat. I compare it to Stranger Things, when the stories converge and the crew is finally together, those moments are so impactful and exciting. They feel earned and elevate everything after. In Dominion, you don't feel any kind of magic.

Some parts were so bad they made me cringe or roll my eyes. But that wasn't the case for the majority of the movie. So why such a harsh score? Because this movie, which is the definition of a popcorn flick here to entertain us, is unbelievably boring. I had 8 hours of sleep last night and drank a Red Bull, yet I was struggling to stay awake. I had to un-recline.

All of the action scenes are forgettable. Literally. It's only been a few hours and I can remember maybe a couple cool moments. And one thing I couldn't believe, the climax action sequence is straight-up copied from one of the previous movies. I won't say which one, but I'm baffled they went this route. It's even sadder when you realize it's worse than what it copied in every way.

As for the dinosaur effects, at times the animatronic dinosaurs look like toys. And the CGI dinosaurs look a bit off. I don't think it's poor CGI but something about it doesn't feel right.

I am so disappointed this is what they gave us for their self-proclaimed "epic conclusion of the Jurassic era." Especially after Fallen Kingdom left us with such an exciting cliffhanger, the chaos that awaits the people of the world when dinosaurs are unleashed upon them. That's not at all what we get.

I loved the first Jurassic World. And while the second is highly flawed, it's still entertaining and filled with tension and suspense. I felt none of that with Dominion. (1 viewing, opening Thursday UltraScreen 6/9/2022)