Condor's Nest

I'll start on a couple of positive notes.

There are two good things about this movie: 1) It's in color, and 2) It ended.

I'd say about 33% of this film is people being held at gunpoint, 33% is people being shot in the head, and the final third is people yelling at each other.

There's one long stretch with Heinrich Himmler (who here looks like a dead ringer for Hitler, which he wasn't in real life) heading up a meeting of 10 or so old Nazis (all speaking German so you have to read the subtitles throughout, whereas it would have been a good place for them to just slip into English with a German accent.

There's a long opening scene in which, after the Americans' bomber crashes near the "front lines" in France but most of the crew survives, a really bad SS guy (you'll recognize him from one of the Mummy movies) shows up, holds the crew at gunpoint, then eventually shoots all of them in the head just for giggles. It sets the thematic tone for the whole movie.

And did I mention poor acting throughout the film? Yeah, it's there and it's pretty consistent.

I dunno - maybe 2 stars is a bit generous for this one.

This is by far the worst attempt at a war film, that I'm guessing, was also trying to be funny in a Inglourious Basterds kind of way, but not even a smirk was cracked - more like cringe moments. This felt more like a long, dragged out bad SNL sketch. The 102 min runtime felt endless with terrible pacing and long dragged out and mostly unnecessary scenes. At best, this should've been a short film. The story was just flaccid, lame, and boring. I've seen better cast performances in a high school drama class, but I'm sure most of the blame falls on writer and director Phil Blattenberger's inexperience on how to direct his cast properly. I'm not sure why this nonsense was even made. The bogus high reviews are more entertaining. It's a very generous 3/10 from me, being very forgiving for many rookie mistakes by a newb filmmaker. Blattenberger should've at least consulted a more experienced filmmaker for the many needed areas of improvement.

If Paramount Pictures places a movie in theaters there's some expectation of size and scale, especially for a movie that bills itself an action-thriller, but Condor's Nest falls short.

Story: 6/10. Nothing original here, a very standard revenge story that gets a few extra points for surprising me at times.

Performances: 7/10. This is the movie's strong point. Arnold Vosloo makes a great baddie. Newcomers Al Pagano and Corinne Britti bring deeply-needed color to an otherwise grim spectacle. Michael Ironside and Jorge Garcia have surprise cameos that drive the story along even if they aren't particularly memorable.

Production: 3/10. Perhaps expectations were too high, but I had a hard time believing the car chase was real, that the plane was really crashing, that we were really in the 1950s. The cinematography is on point but even that can't save it from low-budget malaise.

Final score 5/10.

I guess I got suckered by the trailer. I kept thinking it has to get better but it only got worse. If it was supposed to be a serious drama, it wasn't. If a comedy, there was absolutely nothing funny. If it was to have been historically accurate it completely missed the mark.

Bad dialogue, acting that wasn't convincing, cinematography that was embarrassingly poor and the best editing that could have been done was to cut all of it and throw it away.

When compared to so many of the movies that were produced by Amazon I just don't get why this got the green light.

I definitely wasted my time watching this terrible excuse for a movie.

This began like some of the better WWII flicks and captured our attention. There is intrigue as we ferret out the plot. But somewhere in the middle it degenerated into too much soap opera, with the realization that there was a writers' addiction to regular and over-used pistol-to-the-head killing. The wife quit and left for bed halfway through. I should have, but hoped it would wash out better... it didn't.

There was some good acting, but the overall movie sank, especially near the end where the main character gets hold of a heavy gun and starts killing dozens of bad guys, bad guys with automatic rifles, and that are dumb enough to keep incessantly running into the open in front of him, as comrades fall under their feet.

As realistic and engaging as this thing started, it sure degraded into just another lousy unrealistic shoot ''em up by its finish.