Charlotte

This is a very very special movie. I am a fan of bad movies. Like most fans of bad movies I know that there is a scale of quality, it starts at genuinely good, then just bad, and then finally so bad that it is good. This movie never even flirted with being good, it skipped past being just bad, and somehow attained a whole new level that I was unaware of until now. So bad that it causes an existential crises.

I watched this with my GF, who is also a fan of bad movies, and all that she could say afterward was "That movie really challenged my psyche."

I would have to agree.

About halfway through watching the movie I found myself floating a few feet above my body, watching myself watch Charlotte. I then had an out of body experience, out of that out of body experience, where I watched myself, watching myself watch Charlotte. This cycle continued until my mind completely shattered. I do believe that my mental state is irreparably damaged by this movie, the bright side being that I believe I can now qualify for disability, although I worry that having seen Charlotte may count as a pre-existing condition.

The one brightside to this movie is that it did restore my faith in God, because this can only be the result of divine retribution for our sins.

This movie is some sort of horror / comedy anthology movie centered around a doll.

It's not good tho. Altho there is one segment about 'cookies' that is mildly amusing for a moment.

-1 Bad writing

-1 Not entertaining

-1 Bad effects with the Doll(s)

There are child actors you don't want to hit with an iron. This movie doesn't have any of them.

Charlotte was a way to waste an hour and half while wondering what kind of stuff the movie was going to show next. I was hoping it was going to surprise me with turning into a B-horror, but it kept dropping lower every time I got excited thinking it was getting better.

The main story is that a babysitter is being slowly messed with by a doll. The doll is showing the babysitter movies while other changes are happening.

The audience gets to see snippets of what is happening to the babysitter, just enough to figure out what is going on. And the movie mostly focuses on the one-shots that the doll is "showing" the babysitter. You see the babysitter, a movie, the babysitter, a movie, and so on.

The whole doll thing is lame. And the first story is muffled at times. Some stories I'd rate a B, some a C, and some - just lame. The acting is off or forced, and sometimes you can tell the actors are just having fun instead of completely in the story.

There are some scenes with a bit of blood, and one with a pinch of gore.

Overall though, it's a weird way to spend an hour and a half.

Instead of using my time on this earth explaining why this movie should be skipped, I will oped in for telling you things, that you as a person can do in the same amount of time.

Cooking is a good trade to have, if you can make a good meal it will impress most guests you have over for the evening; one such dish that will woo people is ratatouille. This dish takes about one and one half hour to make, 45 minutes to prepare and 45 minutes to cook in the oven. If pulled off correctly, this is a meal that can turn even the most hardened of souls to an old softy.

Spending one hour and 30 minutes deep cleaning your house can and will feel gratifying. Not only because you now will live in a nice clean house, but because you will only have to spend just twenty minutes a week keeping it clean after its first deep clean.

Finally, watch two episodes of your favorite show, it will make you feel infinitely better about yourself than watching this movie.