Aquaslash

Aquaslash is a terrible film with less than stellar performances and a plot that makes very little sense for much of the time. Sure, there are some decent gore moments, but not a lot happens for stretches of time (and it is a short film) and so the slasher element of the title is somewhat limited. If you want a very good pool-based horror see, well, The Pool and so you may wish to slide away from Aquaslash.

One of the worst writing and acting I have ever seen! I've seen plenty of "B" movies or straight-to-DVD movies, and I've never seen such nonsensical carelessness by the whole film's cast and crew. I don't think this director knew much English as that's why the dialogue was written so terribly. No normal human talks or behaves the way every single character acted in this movie. Editing was also so lazy, I can't believe somebody was paid serious money to do this!

"Your dead father left you the whole estate." Girl turns around -- "Oh my God..." -- with a blank stare.

Guy covered in blood, screaming -- "Don't go into the slide! Something is wrong!" Another guy rolls his eyes -- "Dude relax! You need to chill..." -- as he jumps into the slide and dies.

How can a movie with so many people attached to it be so bad? It means that during the writing, rehearsing, filming, post production that no one had the guts to stand up and say "this isn't working." This is an AWFUL movie on every level. Dialog. Characters. Plot. Special effects. There isn't even any 'eye candy' to keep you distracted. The women are all objectionable. The 'bro dudes' are so over the top and poorly acted that you WANT them to die horribly. Why would you intentionally make characters so unlikeable? I mean every single one.

Decent watch at best, won't watch again, and can't recommend outside a Bad Movie Night.

While it is great to see young ladies pretending to be high schoolers in bikinis...it's not a unique selling point by any means.

The movie also takes far too long to establish things and get onto the actual action.

The traditional 2nd act action and 3rd act resolution is highly reduced and not satisfying for me.

For the murder mystery aspect of it, there is no character approach to finding the murderer. No cops, detectives, or gang of kids with a talking dog actively searching for the killer, the investigation isn't part of the story, it's just sort of a tacked on addition to the story.

Slasher movies have a lot of tropes, but usually there's some kind of story involved as well. The story in this movie is extremely thin.

I kept wondering what alternate universe this takes place in, where high school students (!!) are having sex in the park, doing drugs openly, bikini car wash (in 2018? More like a wet t-shirt contest anyway), and so on.

And the park manager and staff are clearly not meant to be running a lemonade stand, much less something like this. It stretches credulity beyond the breaking point.

You kind of know you're in trouble when they add a Wilhelm scream so early on into the movie... you just know they're going for the cliches, and they don't disappoint in that regard.

Ultimately it all boils down to one big set piece (no spoiler here, it's in the movie poster and trailer) of criss-crossed blades in the water slide. But, I mean, that's really it. There are the "killer POV" shots of some mysterious person doing other things, and preparing the slide, but it's kind of boring.

By the time anything really starts happening, even the average movie watcher has figured out the "whodunit" part. Oh, and the weird end-credit scene... what the heck was that? I wondered why, earlier in the movie, there was a totally off-kilter scene with a strange kid and his injured foot. I figured it was just sloppy writing and editing (which is a good guess, because the movie is full of that), but... that's the payoff? A stupid end-credit scene? It didn't even make sense.

Don't bother watching unless you're bored. I gave it 3 stars because I did watch it while I was bored, and the best thing I could say about it is, I did end up watching 'til the end just to see if I was right about who the mystery killer is. If you want to avoid wasting your time, I'm sure some review here has a spoiler you could read.