The Necromancer

Well that's 90 minutes I won't get back. Bad acting and terrible script. I had high hopes for this film but it was ridiculously uneventful.

Just when you thought it was going to be good it descended into ham acting and nonsense. The costumes didn't look right and the locations didn't match the script that well.

This film is so terrible. I couldn't work out if an actor in a moderately central role was giving the worst performance I've ever seen on the big screen or whether he was poorly served with some of the worst writing. So poorly edited it was jarring. One positive would be it sets the bar for bad films to be measured against.

Well that's 90 minutes I won't get back. What a crock of crap. I had high hopes for this film but was sorely disappointed.

Bad acting and weird accents. There were a few good bits but they were few and far between. I found myself questioning the production and costumes as the film was so poor. Not recommended.

This is the cinematic equivalent of self harm (or overly dramatic munching on pinecones - spoiler) Horrendously bad, but at least it's inspired some of the most disingenuous and laughable reviews written by the cast and their friends.

If you want an insight into delusion, watch it and then read the reviews.

The premise in itself is interesting. The script, the utterly insipid, simplistic dialogues and the amateurish acting (on a level with that of a not-so-brilliant high school troupe), paired with special effects clearly inspired by Pan's Labyrinth (albeit the version you'd expect elementary school children to make for themselves for Halloween) soon make it hard to keep a straight face.

Add to that a complete disregard for period detail and wigs so visibly artificial that you expect a label sticking out of them saying '100% polyester' and you wouldn't be surprised if one of the characters were to check his messages on an Apple Watch on screen.

Makes you wonder what the jury's standards are at the Bristol Festival. The real horror is thinking about what the other films presented will have been like if this is the winner.