Crumb Catcher

What is a good genre title for movies that require protagonists to be stupid for the movie to last full length status? Usually these movies are gothic, describing families moving into haunted houses, then staying 2 hours through virtue of idiocy through ignoring hellish circumstances. But they always encompass allowing an outside entity, human or otherwise, to invade their space, then slowly escalate, moving from some form of indifference to an ultimate life and death panic. Better examples, like funny games or knock knock are thoughtfully planned out to trap the normies logically, but that takes scriptwriting effort. 90 per cent plus are just lazy set ups to create situations that would culminate in either quick dismissal or confrontation. Or in case of the classic haunted house, a quick move. I nominate "inert observer", but I am sure there is better.

So the movie is entirely about watching the train derail and whether the audience will be satisfied with how badly these horrible people get the comeuppance that is due each and every one of them a trillion-fold times infinity via a devilishly brutal climax.

And meh. Some stuff happens. But not nearly to the absurd degree needed to undue the abysmal portrayals throughout.

Instead, at the very end it sadly tried to play on sympathies that just simply weren't there. So no, it did not succeed at the Gothic Noir stage play thing it was going for - which is a total bummer since I usually like things that Larry Fessenden has a hand in.

It is tense. For sure. Someone might like that.

"Came back, Shane" was a funny line.

So my girlfriend sucks at eating, and i found this movie on a whim. I had no idea what I was in for! I mean, the movie was terrible, like reallyyy terrible, but this guy's invention was genius! I'd buy a crumb catcher from this guy in alllll 50 states!

Zippitoy boppity flippity doo, i need more required characters, but how about you!!!??

Alright, i guess add more. I really do like the crumb catcher idea. You have no idea how aggravating it is to have someone who eats in your bed. Like there should reallllyyy be an invention to deal with people like this. Some day I'm gonna have a mental breakdown. Fin.

It was hard to gauge how good or bad this movie was going to be based on the reviews. Real coin flip here. Well, I called heads and it came up tails.

After 25 minutes, nothing really happened and I absolutely hated the newlywed couple. Both had irritable personalities and I think nobody told them they were rolling because their performances were on par with a table read or maybe a first rehearsal. But more incredulously, it made absolutely no sense these two people would marry each other. I mean, they came across as a breakup/rebound couple at best. Maybe later on in the movie there's some exposition illustrating why they decided to get married, but 25 minutes in, impossible to believe.

So yeah, after 25 minutes, switched off and watched something else.

Chris Skotchdopole's first attempt at directing didn't stand out, but it did have some merit. The writing credits belong to Chris Skotchdopole, Larry Fessenden, and Rigo Garay, and that's where I had a few criticisms, particularly regarding the story's dynamics. It was unique, but even for that, you need some believability - and this story was just lacking that! So, we can consider it a strained effort at an absurdist suspense-thriller.

The entire story hinges on the notion that Shane and Leah are truly in love. They are supposedly so in love that Shane is terrified of their marriage falling apart if the "blow job" video with another woman is exposed. However, these two have absolutely no chemistry. Garay portrays Shane as bug-eyed and anxious, while Peck depicts Leah as a manipulative power player. There's nothing to really bring these two together and keep them together, so in the end, none of this really adds up.

This isn't a captivating piece of filmmaking, but rather an idea that is stretched beyond the capacity to naturally maintain one's attention without relying on flashy filmmaking and even flashier themes.