Crumb Catcher

So the movie is entirely about watching the train derail and whether the audience will be satisfied with how badly these horrible people get the comeuppance that is due each and every one of them a trillion-fold times infinity via a devilishly brutal climax.

And meh. Some stuff happens. But not nearly to the absurd degree needed to undue the abysmal portrayals throughout.

Instead, at the very end it sadly tried to play on sympathies that just simply weren't there. So no, it did not succeed at the Gothic Noir stage play thing it was going for - which is a total bummer since I usually like things that Larry Fessenden has a hand in.

It is tense. For sure. Someone might like that.

"Came back, Shane" was a funny line.

So my girlfriend sucks at eating, and i found this movie on a whim. I had no idea what I was in for! I mean, the movie was terrible, like reallyyy terrible, but this guy's invention was genius! I'd buy a crumb catcher from this guy in alllll 50 states!

Zippitoy boppity flippity doo, i need more required characters, but how about you!!!??

Alright, i guess add more. I really do like the crumb catcher idea. You have no idea how aggravating it is to have someone who eats in your bed. Like there should reallllyyy be an invention to deal with people like this. Some day I'm gonna have a mental breakdown. Fin.

Crumb Catcher gets a 7/10 from me. It's a weird little movie that reminded me of some of those offbeat indie/art house films from the '90s-stuff like Barton Fink or The Dark Backward. Most of it takes place in one house, with a small group of characters, and it slowly builds from awkward to intense in a way that kept me interested. It's dark, kind of funny in a messed-up way, and has a look that really fits the mood.

It's not perfect-the acting isn't the greatest, there's too much shaky cam, some of the dialogue feels flat, and a few scenes seem to be trying a little too hard to be strange or meaningful. Still, it has a strong style and doesn't play it safe, which I appreciate. If you like movies that are a little off-center and don't mind some rough edges, this one's worth checking out.

But cult films are earned over time. This seems to be a project by the skotchdopole family. One of em directed, and a bunch of them produced it. When shane and leah get married, he's worried that some big secret will come to light. Although he isn't even sure if the secret really happened. And when they get to the house where they are spending their honeymoon, they spend the whole time arguing. They don't seem to do that thing that honeymooners are famous for doing. And when the creeps show up to blackmail shane, why don't they just call the cops?? Or shane could just fill his bride in on the big secret. This seems to be chris skotchdopole's first full length film direction. Some of the reviews on the film are more entertaining than watching the film itself. Maybe they should have spent the budget on getting the "invention" developed. It's probably the most interesting thing about the film. But it just really isn't a practical invention. Although the line "bingo, bongo, up the congo!" was pretty funny too. It wants to be a cult film, but it's just dark and quirky. Lots of plot holes. All horrible people. Why didn't they just call the cops? Watch it if you have the patience. It IS his first big film.

It was hard to gauge how good or bad this movie was going to be based on the reviews. Real coin flip here. Well, I called heads and it came up tails.

After 25 minutes, nothing really happened and I absolutely hated the newlywed couple. Both had irritable personalities and I think nobody told them they were rolling because their performances were on par with a table read or maybe a first rehearsal. But more incredulously, it made absolutely no sense these two people would marry each other. I mean, they came across as a breakup/rebound couple at best. Maybe later on in the movie there's some exposition illustrating why they decided to get married, but 25 minutes in, impossible to believe.

So yeah, after 25 minutes, switched off and watched something else.